Saturday, May 29, 2010

Day 25 - 120 days to go -So what? I'm still a rockstar

This was not my most stellar week when it came to healthy moves.  In fact, several awful habits returned in a big way.  Demons I had thought I had killed, came back alive and kicking. 

This week, in my battle of woman vs food, food won.  Kind of.

It was a week of challenges and set backs, but I did learn a few things:

10.  I will always want to turn to food for comfort.   
On the surface, I’ve made huge strides in this.  I no longer have a bad day “at the office” and automatically turn to pizza. This week, however, between the toe injury, still thinking about the move,  missing my son, traveling/being away and just feeling “off,” was a perfect storm for my inner emotional Audrey to cry out, “feed me.”  And I ate.  Knowing this is the monster that will come after me, I just have to figure out ways to be better prepared next time.  

9.  Emotionally eating sucks.  
It really just gets you more bummed out.  Fatty, salty food doesn’t really comfort you and reckless eating just makes you feel blech and out of control, it also becomes a slippery slope of momentum in the wrong direction.

8.  Don't underestimate the power of exercise (or lack of).  
I cried a lot this week and I think it has everything to do with not running  I turned to food to fill the missing gap of endorphins, energy and charge I get from moving – If I ever suffer an injury again I'll need to figure out what I can turn to instead.  I already have plans to find something to do even with the bum toe.  Sitting on a boring stationary bike for 20 mins and doing some upper body at the gym, will make me feel better than doing nothing.

7.  Today is temporary.  
I will get through it.  A bad day or week of eating doesn’t have to define me.  It doesn’t undo all the great strides I’ve made, it doesn’t cancel my half marathon, or even the first step I ever ran.  I’ve done great things.  I’m choosing to celebrate the many, many weeks of awesome rather than put too much into the one week of crapola.  A month from now, I’ll barely remember what I ate in this crappy week, a year from now, I won’t remember it at all.

6.  You need a bad week once in a while to keep you humble and appreciative.  
I thought I was on fire.  I’m a runner and a whole grain choosing, low (but healthy fat), lean protein craving, clean-eating machine!  Mac and cheese – yuck!  Ice cream?  Not me.  Me and Jack La Laine can be juicing buddies!  I’m soooooo healthy!  Well I got knocked right off of my high “food superior “horse.  There was some ugly eating being done.  Processed, white flour, possibly even some trans fat ugliness…  I’m not above it.  I have to respect that I’m a  hobbled skip and a big mac step away from health undoing..  and  never take for granted the hard work it is for me to keep it right.

5.  I have the power over my choices and can stop the downfall at any time.  
I know this, we all know this.  Why I forget this – I don’t know.  Why didn’t I stop the landslide of bad food choices on Monday?  I don’t know.  That’s definitely a fall back to an old bad habit and one that I have to work out.

4.  Prolonged guilt is useless.  
Yes I’m battling this.  I think that guilt over most things is good for a second because it tips you off that something isn’t right with your universe.  But then, GET OVER it.  Guilt should be the number one sign that you have a lesson to learn.  Don’t ignore it  rather acknowledge it, forgive yourself and find the lesson.  Learn, grow and move on.  I’m going to turn this thing into a positive and figure out how to do better next time.

3.  Nine good toes still rock.  
Do you have one bad toe or nine good ones?  It’s kind of funny but totally true.  If you only had 6 good toes, having 9 would be a blessing!  Reframing helps but takes time.  At first you really just want to be bummed but at some point you have to choose to feel better and pull yourself out of the hole.

2.  Make a plan and take action  
I have made a decision that the week ahead is going to be a great one.  I’m going to eat well, exercise, balance my time and get what I need to get accomplished, accomplished.  I’m making my lists and putting it in the universe.

1.  When all else fails...
To quote Pink, “So what?  I’m still a rock star, I’ve got my rock moves, and I don’t need food….”  So nah, nah, nah, nah! (Ok I paraphrased the food part…)  I know what I need to do to succeed.  And even on a bad day I have what it takes.  I just have to remember to always respect my inner rock star.  Rock Stars party like, well, Rock Stars - they shake off the hang over, wipe away the guilt and get out there and rock it, they bring it and make no apologies for the occasional stumble.  

You know what? I take it back.  In this battle of Woman vs Food, food did not win.  I won.  I won because I might’ve had some food this week but FOOD DOES NOT HAVE ME.  

Rock on with your bad self.

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