Thursday, May 6, 2010

Day 2 - only 143 days to go - I just can't...

I can't.  I've been thinking about, "I can't" all day.

Recently, I've had three separate conversations with three random friends all telling me how they would "love to do a marathon someday, but they can't."

Now all three of these people are in better shape than I.  Two run as forms as exercise and the third is overall generally athletic.  They certainly can run for more than a minute which is where I started out at.  All three could probably kick my ass in a 5k on any given day and I'm pretty sure that none of them are in double number sized jeans.

So what do you mean you can't?  Yeah.  You can.  And that's good news!

So what is holding you back?  It's want.  You've gotta really want to do it.  

Trust me, I'm not judging,  I've lived in "I can't world" my whole fricken life.  

Look, I know there's lots of reasons why you don't want to run 13 or 26 miles.  Maybe you don't want to risk taking on something so big.  Maybe you don't want to face down the fear of failure.  Maybe you don't want to risk injury or feeling sore all the time.  Maybe you don't want to spend the money, maybe you don't want to sacrifice getting out of bed earlier, going out of the house after dinner for some training or burning part of your weekend on a long run that takes 2 hours.  Maybe you are afraid to piss off your spouse or lose time with your family.  It's all legit and fair reasons to not want to do something.  It's still not worthy of can't.

Not wanting something is actually fine.  My friend Amy has clearly said, "she'd never want to run a marathon."  That I can respect.  She hates heat, crowds, and moving for that long would be hell for her.  Cool.  But if you "want" to do this and keep saying but "you can't" you are really ripping yourself off.

My point is this, if we really want something, there's no room for the word can't.  We can do anything we set our minds to - cliche but true.

If I really wanted a clean house, I'd be cleaning right now instead of blogging.  It would be easier to say, "well, I can't because I have to blog and it's late and the baby is sleeping and you know..." but truly I am making a choice.  

And again I reiterate - that's excellent news.  Personally, I've come to learn that "can't" is one of the most powerfully self-limiting words you can throw out there.  It's definite.  It closes the door, it implies impossibility and never.  I think it shuts you down - cuts you off.  When you can change the word to want instead of can't - it at least gives you back power .  Once you change the word - you pick up choices - you can figure out why you want or don't want something and then tackle those obstacles, trouble shoot concerns or figure out how to make it work.

Making big plans, dreaming big dreams and shooting for big goals is out of our comfort zone - but the only way to grow is to balls to the wall go for things.  Whether it's a marathon or anything else- shoot for it!  Work hard for it, find a path, figure a way.  Aren't you worth going for everything you want instead of settling for can't?

And by the way, me too.  I'm in this boat.  Yeah, I did the 1/2 thing but there's probably a dozen other dreams that I limit with the "c" word too... I'm going to work on that.



Anonymous said...

Awesome post, Jen ... definitely food for thought. :o)

Jen said...

thanks, Kathy. I definitely struggle with this!

Kathy said...

For me it's more like a full blown war ... never mind a struggle. lol

Jen said...

lol, I'm with ya!!

Frannie said...

Love it! It's what had my big butt out at 9 pm last night... I also have to decide to use want more than can't... especially about the clean and organized house thing!

Jen said...

You go, Frannie!! 9 PM - might as well be midnight for me, that's so out of the norm!! AWESOME girl!

Frannie said...

I know... 9 pm is prime relaxation time normally! I'll let you know if I can make the May 16 date too...