Monday, April 26, 2010

Day 78 - 5 days to go!! Rainy days and Mondays...

UGH.  I think I'm getting scared.

I felt super unmotivated today, in fact, I've felt a bit unmotivated the last few days.

The pouring rain kind of screwed me out of running outside, I finally dragged myself to the gym - only to get on the treadmill and find that my i-pod must really be dead. (I thought the other day was maybe a flukey, forgot to charge issue.) I did plug it in all last night so it's no fluke - it's deader than a a door nail and with only five days to go, I'm gonna have to figure something out.

So I got to the gym and still didn't feel like doing anything and with the dead I-Pod just decided to do a 20 minute power walk while watching Dr. Oz and even that dragged.

What's wrong with me!?

Am I self sabotaging?  Is it fear?  I mean five days to go - I've come this far and now I'm doubting myself, am feeling like blowing off training and can barely get thru a 20 minute walk??  Oh brother.  If I was self analyzing myself, my psychology 101 assessment would be I'm backing off from training as a defense mechanism, to protect myself from the potential of failure.

Or I'm just making that up.  I don't know.  Sigh.  I'll get it together and rally.

Hopefully the sun will come out tomorrow and I'll be back on track - 3 mile run tomorrow no matter what, even if I have to sing to myself the whole time!

XO
Jen

4 comments:

Frannie said...

Hey Jen,

Loved seeing you at Jess's shower on Sunday. I just read EVERY single blog on your site while I should be working!!! It is inspiring and I hope to (literally) follow in your footsteps. I can't wait to hear about your crossing the finish line.
Love, Frannie

sk said...

maybe you are so close to your goal that it's like you are there, if it were me I would be thinking, "well if i'm not ready by now there is nothing more I can do about it" ---- Or maybe your body is just telling you (via your lack of motivation) to rest up for the big day....

Kathy said...

Sending weight loss vibes and increased motivation vibes your way! You're in my thoughts and prayers. :o)

Jen said...

Thanks guys!! Frannie - see ya at the next one! Kathy, see ya Saturday!