Friday, February 12, 2010
Day 5: 78 days - Freaking Out
I started to freak out today. I truly believed that I could do this thing - I really did. I still do - but it was a challenge to keep it from getting overwhelming today. Other people and stuff really can get in your head - in both good and bad ways.
I have been devouring marathon and running information and the more I read, the more nervous I get. Maybe I should've tried a 5K first - but I'm such a newbie at running that it never occurred to me! Then friends who do run and who've run smaller races have repeatedly told me, "you're crazy." "I don't even think I can do that!" "How long do you have to train!?... Oh, Jen." Oh boy.
Well, my ignorance was bliss... and now I'm fighting to remain in total belief in my abilities and fighting against these tricky little, seeds of doubts that want to plant themselves in my head and grow into paralyzing weeds that choke the confidence I have, right out of me.
OK, I admit I'm cutting it close with training and I also admit it's quite possible I'm the last person in the race to cross that finish line but I also believe in the power of believing in yourself. I really do.
So I'm trying to put my mind over matter on this one and just muster up as much belief as I can - even if there are moments of sheer terror and a little faking it.
We teach our kids, "I think I can, I think I can..." I just have to keep on believing I can.
As far as training. I loved my training today. Same basic drill as yesterday but I was able to crank up the speed a little more (YAY!) and instead of the prescribed "2 minutes" there were a few cycles where I ran 3 and even 4 minutes straight... not just for the challenge but because I was enjoying it so much, I just didn't want to stop! That's gotta be a good thing.
Also, I realize the power music has on my workout -- so I downloaded a bunch of songs specifically for this training. I'll share the playlist tomorrow.