Friday, February 19, 2010

Day 12 - 71 days to go -- Miss Cranky Pants


I was cranky today.   I feel like this guy ---------------------->>>

There's two reasons I'm feeling yucky.

First, I'm selling my home and today was the home inspection by the new buyers.  I think I've been in denial about the whole thing but it's really happening.  This isn't really by choice.  My husband and I, like many others, have been hit hard by this economy and our mortgage has become beyond our reach.  Overall it'll be OK.  I've made choices that I'm proud of - like choosing to jump into co-launching a film and television company rather than find employment working full time someplace.  It takes time to generate money with any new business but it still sucks to see the home you love, being loved by someone else.  And even though I feel in my heart that the company I'm involved in is 100% the right path, it's still really tough.

Then, I got on the scale this morning and WTF!!??  I am exactly the same weight as last week AND if you remember, last week I gained nearly 2 pounds... I mean seriously... WTF!!!!!!?

The non-weight loss just about sent me over the friggen edge.  I mean I'm following the weight watcher plan 100%.  I'm getting in my veggies and fruits, I'm eating healthy whole grains, lean protein - getting my calcium in and taking my vitamins and I'm training for the freakin' marathon.  I said no to pizza luncheons and no to breakfasts of bagels and doughnuts...   I'm getting up at 5 AM, I'm making all of these changes so WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH   why isn't the scale rewarding me?

Seriously, with all I'm doing if I was weighing in on THE BIGGEST LOSER, Jillian would accuse me of "throwing the weigh-in" because any other normal person should be losing weight.

I do remind myself of all the positive changes I've made over the years.  Today, I didn't turn to food for comfort, I didn't go out and pound tequila and I certainly don't chain smoke my problems away anymore.  I'm certainly healthier.  I'm certain that even if the numbers on the scale aren't moving that my blood pressure, blood sugar and cholesterol numbers are getting sexier by the minute with all this clean and healthy living.  Yee ha.

And I trained, which I admit is a great thing.  In the past I definitely would've buried my head in some chinese food and a movie and called the whole thing off.  Running helped.  I definitely feel better now.  I pushed myself today and total running time is up to 16 minutes.  I went faster - there were times where I had the treadmill up to 5.5 on an incline (my whole workout is on an incline since it's on a treadmill.)  This is really fast for me - 12 days ago I was huffing and puffing jogging for 1 minute at 3.9!

So that's my story.  I still have a fat ass but you should see my resting heart rate.  Totally hot.

xo
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