It's been two weeks here in Kentucky and now I'm going home.
I'm so thankful that I've been able to manage this Whole30 while away.
I shunned alcohol, figured out meals, ate out 3 times and went through a whole jar of Ghee but I did it.
I'm pretty convinced I haven't lost a pound. My clothes feel exactly the same but I'm still happy I've done this program. It was exactly what I needed to get on the clean eating track again. I have plans of sticking to this style of eating more or less but will be adding back brown rice and bean probably. And I will definitely be adding occasional alcohol back. I am going to try not to drink more than 2 times a week.
I would be lying if I didn't say I went in to this really wanting to lose weight. When I began to realize I wasn't going to shed the ten or fifteen pounds I was secretly hoping for I was momentarily disappointed. But then I started to think about it and believe it or not, if I never lose a pound again - I think I'm (at least for today) at peace with it.
I have been reflecting (not obsessing) about my weight lately. If I'm weighing about what I think I do - I am about 10 pounds higher than the weight I LOVED being at and 5 pounds above my general goal.
I'm healthy. I eat well. I exercise regularly. I am a good person and a hard worker. I'm kind of tired of living and dying, loving or hating myself based on the number on the scale. No I don't want the scale to become a runaway train in the wrong direction but if I'm living healthfully and fitfully I just want to feel OK with it. And I think I do for now.
I have a friend who use to battle an eating disorder and has emphatically not been on a scale for years. In fact she refuses to even let the doctor weigh her. She's fit and healthy and eats right. She gave up the scale battle and the mental crap that comes with it. I don't think I'm quite at the point of never getting on it but it might become a goal for me. Something about never weighing myself terrifies me too.
What about you? Are you an obsessive weigher or do you hardly step on?