Friday, March 23, 2012

An open letter to anyone who is plateauing, frustrated, feeling stuck, ready to quit, etc...

Dear Buttercup:

I'm sorry you are feeling low/shitty/defeated and down in the dumps. I know the feeling and it sucks. It really does. But, just because you are feeling like this now doesn't mean it's time to throw in the towel. I mean, do you really want to give up on yourself? That's what you would be doing.

No. Don't you dare give up on yourself. It's time to suck it up.

This is my 300th post on this blog. Thank you for supporting me on my journey, I hope in some small way I've supported you or can support you on yours as well.

I've learned a lot and I was once in those shoes. I almost quit many times. But I didn't and you won't either. So please take a little tough love, kick in your caboose and maybe even a few words of wisdom from someone who had previously given up on herself and somehow fought her way back and still fights everyday.

First. All people feel like crap somedays. It's a fact. See that size 2 walking down the street? At some point she's thought her ass was too fat/flat/small/ugly/not worthy. See that gorgeous blonde? Someone made her feel inferior at some point and she comfort ate her way through a pint or two of Ben & Jerry's.

We all have bad days and shit feelings the trick is not letting those days become bad weeks/months/years.

So what's your woe? Maybe one of these might sound familiar?

1.  I f'ed up my food today. Ate too much and now I'm a failure.
Eating too much does not make you a failure it makes you human. Giving up might make you a failure. If I was a failure for every time I ate too much I should just kill myself. Holy crap I eat too much probably at least once a week. So what? It's just food. Dust yourself off, and do better your next meal.

2.  I am at a plateau.
And? Why on earth would you quit now? Look at your awesome progress. Giving up will guarantee you getting off the plateau and heading back in the wrong direction. If you are on a plateau you have to shake things up. Take a few calories out or add a few calories back - add a different exercise, make adjustments. I was stuck on a plateau FOR A YEAR. And it was my fault because I stubbornly didn't want to change what had worked to that point. It should still be working! Pout. I had to figure out the puzzle. Exercise, real consistent exercising was my answer. As annoying as that year was, however, I am grateful for that year because it eventually led me to the following year and another 50 pound loss.

3.  I can't do it.
Yes you can. You have to believe that you can though. Start visualizing the very thing you think you can't do - rock a bikini, run a marathon, skydive, playing basketball with your kids. Close your eyes everyday for ten minutes and just 'see it' until you feel it. When I could only run for 2 minutes I would pretend those 2 minutes were the last 2 of a marathon and see a finish line. Me? Run a marathon? Hardy-har-har-har… Impossible. 18 months later I ran my first full marathon.  Michael Jordan was a great believer in visualization and you should practice it too. The more you can feel what it's like to be in those shoes the closer you'll get to being in those shoes!  Stop believing the part of your brain that tells you you can't and start looking for the voice that says you can.

Listen, you've got decisions to make. It's easy to give up and give in to the temptation of throwing up your hands in defeat but why would  you? Make yourself worth fighting for or no one else will. You've only got one life to live so live the best life you can.

Today's failures lead the way to tomorrow's successes. Every 'failure' is an opportunity to learn! So failing is good. We grow from failing if we don't get caught up in the negative part. You get to figure out what didn't work and that will take you one step closer to your dreams and goals!!

Anyone who has been successful with anything has discovered the biggest secret out there… here it is…. are you still with me?

PERSEVERANCE

Hands down. It's not the smartest or the luckiest who become successful, it's those who never, ever, ever, give up.

Thomas Edison attempted the light bulb something like a 1000 times until he got it right! 1000! Can you imagine if he gave up at attempt number 280, thinking, "well crap, I've tried this nearly 300 times... this light thing is too hard. F it. I guess we're OK with candles."

It took Jack Canfield about 135 rejections and a few years before he finally sold "Chicken Soup For the Soul." Chicken Soup went on to sell 112 MILLION copies in 40 different languages. What if Canfield gave up after the 10th, 30th, 80th or 100th rejection letter? 

So if you're still working at getting your groove, losing the weight, running the half marathon, building your speed, selling a book, whatever - just keep going forward towards your 'finish line'. It won't always be pretty or easy. Sometimes you'll take a wrong turn or have to sit and catch your breath… but whatever you do, you keep going.

I hated not losing weight for a year but I would've hated giving up more. 

So suck it up, buttercup. No use looking back all we've got is the road ahead.

Persevere, reach your dreams, goals - live the life you want to because it's all within reach - you just have to believe it, work at it and never give up.  

I know you can do it.

XOXO
Jen

PS: Suggested reading for motivation, taking control of your life and attaining your goals: Jack Canfield "The Success Principals" - it changed my life.








15 comments:

Frickin' Fabulous at 40 said...

Thanks so much for this post Jen (and congratulations on 300!!). I'm definitely doing things I never dreamed possible and they're all because I want to be better than myself, if that makes sense. You can always PR in something! Run/bike/walk/swim faster or farther, lift heavier, bowl better, increase your batting percentage, etc. It's all about YOU! If you want it bad enough, you'll make the sacrifices. Like you said, that year was a struggle because you weren't willing to change anything. I'm teetering on that ledge right now. Do I want to eat less? A big fat N-O! Do I want to move more? More than I have been? Holy crap, that's a lot. I have to do a little more of both. I'll figure it out.

Elle said...

Congrats on 300... love the post. Wherever motivation comes from, use it!

Unknown said...

Thanks Lynda and Elle.

Lynda, you'll figure it out. It takes time. You're doing great and I know you're in it to win it! ;)

Paulette said...

Nicely written. No throwing in the towel!

Lauren {sweat junkie} said...

I should print this post and read it everyday! Thank you :)

Katie Foster said...

You're so right about the visualization! I always used to think it was so hokey until I used it to help me lose 125 pounds. And I still picture myself crossing the finish line of a marathon while running and it feels tough ;)

Jason said...

Great great post. Very motivating and that is what its all about. Helping each other as much as we can.

Thank you for writing this post.

Unknown said...

Thanks for the comments, I appreciate it.

Katie, it's so true I used to think the whole visualization was hokey too - but there is something to it.

Thanks, Jason - I can't count how many times your comments and telling me to , "suck it up, buttercup" inspired me and pushed me forward!

Crystal said...

Inspiring and as motivating as ever.

Unknown said...

thanks Crystal!

Anonymous said...

I'm a few days late in catching up on my blog stalking, and I can't tell you how much I needed this post right now! It's been a "best laid plans" sorta few weeks, and this is just the kick in rear that I needed! Thank you!

Anonymous said...

I'm a few days late in catching up on my blog stalking, and I can't tell you how much I needed this post right now! It's been a "best laid plans" sorta few weeks, and this is just the kick in rear that I needed! Thank you!

Unknown said...

Ah - thanks for swinging by - somedays we need the kick and somedays we are the "kickee" ;0)

Sara said...

JEN! This is going down as one of your greatest posts ever for me. You know I have been on a weight-loss plateau for about just as long and I NEEDED to read this. Oh, thank you!! You are an amazing blogger, inspiration, runner and BBFF!!

SkinnyMeg said...

Thank you for this! I'v been stuck at at a plateau for months and it's getting annoying, glad to see someone who worked successfully through theirs!