Wednesday, February 2, 2011

More on training and relationship straining

The laundry clearly suffers
This has been my "running" theme lately - the need to find balance for work, family and running.

When I signed up for a full marathon, I wasn't prepared at how much the training meant rocking the boat in other areas of my life. I knew I would be running more, but I forgot to factor where that time was going to come from. I figured, I'd get up early and put in the miles. No sweat… (well lots of sweat but you know what I mean.)

Up to this point in my life it's always been a war against myself. Finding the motivation, the desire to leave a warm bed, turn off the TV or drop whatever else. Exercise was something I should be doing and at the time, didn't want to and that's why the marathon train/strain was such a shocker to me. I mean, I'm not going out to party with friends, shop 'til I drop or spend a day at the beach… I'm running on a crummy treadmill at the gym. I would've never figured that this activity could change my day so much.

Let's face it, training for these endurance events takes time and inevitably, someone or something suffers. It might be your work or home life. It could be your homework if you are in school, your sleep time, seeing friends or your other hobbies - but inevitably, something gets affected for better or worse. 

When one decides to do this kind of "life changing" bucket list type thing - no one ever really talks about the other part of it, the sacrifice that others will need to make for you, whether they are ready or not. And others do make sacrifices, whether we want to admit it or not. Well, at least in my case.

I spoke about my hubby last week grumbling about my running and when I did, I'm sorry it seemed harsh. I really don't blame him for being less than thrilled with all this running. All things considered, he's actually pretty supportive.  I can't say I wouldn't be the one grumbling if the running shoe was on the other foot. I'm working through it, still looking for as much "fair" and balanced time as possible. As the weather warms and the sun comes up earlier, I believe it'll get a bit easier.

It's not to say that I regret signing up for the marathon or that I'll quit. I'm glad that I've got running and without it - nothing else would be right. I suffer with depression and anxiety, running helps keep both at bay. I come up with some of my best ideas while running. I know that I wouldn't be persevering to get any miles in if I didn't have a big finish line dangling. 

I ran across this Wall Street journal article this morning, A Workout Ate My Marriage - it was an article about "exercise widows" and really spoke to what happens when one person in the relationship is an endurance racer. I appreciated this article because it really spoke to me.  

Can you relate to this?

So far this week, I ran 10 miles on Monday morning (instead of 14 - TOO BUSY!) and last night 3 miles instead of 7 (FAMILY TIME!) I hate missing the miles but I'm trying to ebb and flow, here. I read another article last week - I think it was from (wish I bookmarked it) but it said that rarely a marathoner feels fully trained - we all hit bumps in the roads or miss a few miles along the way. That gave me comfort to keep going forward despite not always being perfectly on course. 

I am still trying to figure it all out - all we can do is our best - "shoot for the moon… land amongst the stars…" and all that jazz. 


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