Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Setbacks

OH how I'm being tested.

Last week was busy but I got my long run of 18 miles in. I have been fudging the other runs during the week -- usually getting in slightly less then I should on the other given days due to an overwhelming schedule. But I strive to get something in and the long run day is sacred.

I was going to get an extra 10 miler in last week just to add some extra miles under my belt. I was planning on doing that on Thursday. As I was getting ready to go, I got the call from my son's school. "He's sick, please come pick him up." OK. Foiled again. My husband was nice enough to pick him up which gave me a few minutes to run a quick 3 miles to get something in.

So Friday rolls around, I knew running would be tough as I'd be taking care of my son all day but thought I'd aim to do something Friday night after hubby got home. Friday night came and I was hit over the head with the "I'm so tired I could die" stick. So I didn't go -- I thought to myself, "Saturday I'll do ten, rest Sunday and aim for my 20 on Monday."

Well, Saturday came and I got hit with the "I'm so sick I could die" stick. Wow. 103.5 fevers, vomiting, chills, you name it, I had it. Foiled again.

It's Tuesday and its the first time I don't have a fever in days but I still feel crappy. Doc wants me to wait a few days to run.  OMG. I am dying.

I feel hit over the head with the "how the hell am I ever going to pull off a marathon" stick.  I'm so freaking out. I feel so under-trained.  I'll get the 20 in somehow. And then 16 an then taper down but it's going to be sticky and I'm disappointed in myself for not finding a way to get myself better trained for this thing. I know it was a battle of snowstorms, injuries, business trips and illness but still - I feel like I put myself in a position to be going into this thing in a really tough place.

image from: myrunningaddiction.wordpress.com
My last long run of 18 miles was really, super hard. I hit the wall at mile 14 and the last four miles was an all-out battle of focus to get to 18 I don't know what I'm going to do if I hit the wall at mile 14 and have to stick it out for 12 more miles.  UGH. FREAKING. OUT.

help.

5 comments:

Mrs G said...

Stick with it, youll do great.

Jason said...

You are fearful b/c you have never done this before. You are scared of the unknown but know this you have trained as hard and as best you could. Even if everything went perfectly during training you would still feel as if it weren't enough or that you shouldn't have taken that day or whatever.

Let it go. You can't change the past and can only focus on the present and future. Life comes at you and you can only do what you are prepared to do.

San Diego is going to be awesome. You are going to be awesome.

Where is that person that sent me an email with a sub 10:00 mile in it? Go find her and bring her back b/c she knew that she could do this and this imposter writing today thinks she CAN'T.

Sara said...

YOU CAN DO THIS. Even if you don't get a 20 miler in, you can do this.

TAKE. IT. FROM. ME! I felt under-trained for my race on Sunday - you know I did. I didn't want to go. I downright dreaded it! And, like you, I couldn't control the circumstances that especially this last month brought on. It was just a crappy crappy training season.

But I did it. And I have every confidence you will too! JEN - I walked more than I ran the second half of Pittsburgh. I worked too hard to quit even though I wanted to! If you have to do the same - you will! YOU WILL! YOU WILL! YOU WILL!

Take it from me - I KNOW EXACTLY EXACTLY what you are going through!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It just happened to me.

I don't know Jason, but he is spot-on. IT IS WHAT IT IS AND YOU WILL DO THE BEST YOU CAN WITH THE TRAINING YOU HAVE. YOU WILL CROSS THAT LINE IF YOU HAVE TO CRAWL. It will hurt, you will want to give up, BUT YOU WILL DO IT! 18 miles will get you there. Your determination will get you there.

Oh, Jen! My heart goes out to YOU! If I could do this with minimal training this season (and believe me, I wish I could have done better), YOU CAN TOO! I know it, I believe it.

You got this. And you got me right by your side from here is Cbus! ;)

Anonymous said...

Giiiirl, 20 is just a number. Keeping your body in one piece is way way more important. Personally, this close to the big day, I would focus on getting well and rehydrating and just starting the taper with the 16. You did 18. It was hard (Duh, its 18 miles) but you did it. Bank that and do your best to get in some good miles without overdoing it during taper time. See ya in less than three weeks!!!!!!!

Unknown said...

Thank you - I did need to hear from all your comments today.

Lesley, I have to do the 20. I have to get to at least 20 mentally. I'm going to get 20 in before I go… even if I have to do less this week and 20 next and then taper.

I've always relied on being really prepared in my life and this not being as prepared as I can be is making me feel super uncomfortable. It's like waaay out of my comfort zone but I guess that this is how it goes. I guess out of comfort zone is where we grow. Right?

Anyway, thank you for the comments again I needed the pick me up. The flu and the crappy weather has been kicking my ass the last few days.