Coming Back and Looking Forward

I didn't fall off the face of the planet... though lately I've been feeling like I've fallen off the wagon.

Funny thing about this journey of getting to finish lines is there never really is an end, just another challenge and another finish line.

I will cut right to the chase. I've been gaining weight and struggling to keep it together.  I'm probably a good 15 pounds north of where I like to be. (More like 20 if I'm being really honest). 

Oh I have excuses. Plenty of them. Some are even valid - traveling 3 weeks of the month for the last few months for work, being away from my family, out of a routine, working around the clock... and those excuses fly a little but I can't hide from the fact that I've let bad habits creep back in (like stress eating and eating junky foods on the go) and have passed up opportunities to train when I could. So there you have it.

And because I know it's mostly my fault that I'm hating the number on the scale and hating the bigger sized jeans and hating the slower run times (when I get them in) I've come to realize I've been really hating myself. 

But beating myself up is doing me no good. Feeling fat and miserable is doing me no good. Hating myself is destructive and pushing me down the wrong path. If a friend was going through what I was going through I would beg them to see all the good. I would feel sorry that they were so hard on themselves, I would lift them up. So today I decided to do something I haven't in a while and LOVE myself. I am a good person, I've still managed to keep off 80% of my weight, I work hard, I am a good friend and I deserve better. 

Today I take back control.

Today I tell myself I'm strong, I have the tools to succeed and I can do it. I can pick myself up, dust myself off and get back on the track. There are still plenty of finish lines in my future. 

This morning I ran 3 miles with my new running group, "Jersey Women Strong" and pushed to run those miles faster than my current average. I'm still so much further along than I was when I started running a few years ago and if I'm looking back I must take pride in the progress and how far I've come instead of the setbacks. Wherever I am right now is good enough. 

3 miles in the right direction! 

I've learned that looking back can be a blessing and a curse. You have to work at looking back for lessons but not for finding reasons to shame yourself. I am learning to play the "lessons learned game" instead of "why can't I be where I was a year or two ago" game. Yesterday is gone. I've got right now and God willing, I will have tomorrow. ;)

In any case, and for better or worse I have a BUNCH of finish lines coming up. I am signed up for the Jersey Girl Sprint Tri in early August, the Maine REV3 OLY in late August, The Iron Girl Sprint Tri in early Sept. And the Poconos REV3 OLY in mid Sept. 

I don't know what I was thinking when I signed up for all of that but I better get training. I am yet to really get on my bike or in the water. I'm going to do a run / ride tomorrow. 

Finish lines await! Onward and upward!!

XO 

Jen

Mothers on the run and other fun

the duck pond. So pretty - right?

So this morning I was up nice and early for the first day of the "Moms In Motion" program I signed up for. It was the perfect day and you couldn't have asked for a better morning. Clean blue skies, bright sun, a crispness in the air. Awesome.

The Moms In Motion train in my favorite park. I love this park because you can literally run for six miles through nicely paved and shaded paths until you hit the end (and there are a few other miles in other directions too!) This is my favorite training ground for halfs and the one full I ran.  It's actually my favorite training ground, period.

Of-course, the only issue is when someone says "we're meeting at the duck pond" that means different things to different people, since the park is so big there are at least 3 "duck ponds". Luckily, I double checked it right before leaving and the duck pond we were meeting at was the one furthest for me (which was always the "six mile turnaround" on my long runs. Whew. Glad I checked. Unfortunately for me, I checked a little late and I was cutting it close time wise. I was the last to arrive but I made it!

It's a great group of gals and I can tell already there are going to be some fun times ahead. I'm psyched about it.

Honestly, I knew this was more or less a beginner's group so I expected to go along for the ride and be taking it easy. HA!

First, Dana had us warm up. Huh? Warm up? What's this foreign concept? We stretched and jogged and well, that was good - I should be doing this. So that's cool.

Then she explained we'd be doing a series of other stuff - squats, jumping jacks, pushups and planks. UM. I thought this was running. Running I can do but pushups?  Oy vey.  However, truth be told, for the last million years I've said to myself - "self, you need to start strength training. Just do it." and then I reply. "I know. I will." and then the internal conversation comes to a grinding halt. This could be a good thing too, maybe it'll be my kickstart to strength training and that's something I do desperately need!

So now we were nice and warmed up and I thought we'd all be together as a group - I assumed wrong. We broke into two group walkers to runners and "already running." I was happy about this but at the same time, I was thinking this was going to be a "walk-to-run" kind of morning for me… but here I was really getting to work. I had a jacket on and didn't even have something to hold my phone. haha. foolish me.  So, I tied my jacket around my waist shoved the iPhone in my pocket and the 3 of us runners started out into the park for a 3 miler.

I'm so sorry - it was early and I hadn't had enough coffee - so I don't remember my mommy co-runners name - I will get them down next week - promise!  We started out a few feet apart and soon Mz. Speedy broke away. Well. I like a challenge. I had no idea how fast I was going because I forgot to charge my Garmin, so while I was sporting it, it wasn't telling me anything.  So I was just chasing after Mz. Speedy. by the end, she had a good .25 of a mile on me. The other runner was no slouch either -- I'm pretty sure my average pace is probably close to hers if I hadn't "raced" my three miles ;)

All in all Mz. Speedy made me do better than I thought I could - I also have to thanks my friend Jason who is running his first FULL IRONMAN today - I figured if he could swim for 2.4 miles, bike for 112 and run 26.2, I could haul ass on my run… My Nike says that the splits were: 9'51, 9'28, and 9'10 -- that makes me pretty happy. And I felt great after.

Running and gifts? Perfect! :)

At the end, Dana, our coach gave us all these great little goody bags! All kinds of beauty products, a granola bar from Trader Joes, a water bottle, etc. FUN!

I can't wait for next week!

XO
Jen

PS: I have to say that there is something incredible about running in the morning. May inspire me to get out there early and do it more often!

7 reasons to stop hating the treadmill

at least I can watch the muscle heads at my gym

Ah, The good 'ol dreadmill treadmill.

Many of us have a hate-hate relationship with it.

Some more than others.  I myself have grown to tolerate the treadmill. I will admit that it's easier to deal with it when runs are 6 miles and under but I've used it to run up to 14.

Not everyone hates the treadmill. I mean powerhouse runners and bloggers like EMZ runs on one and even did her own 24 hour treadmill fundraiser on one!  Lesley from Racing It Off also often turns to tread work without mention of dread.  She clocks some serious miles on it too!

Today I woke up with a groan at the thought of hopping on the treadmill… So on the heels of yesterday's post about being positive I started to talk to myself about all the good things about the good 'ol tread.

So in honor of national treadmill day… (never heard of national  treadmill day? Well that's because I made it up…)

I'm listing ten seven (I couldn't come up with ten) reasons why we should stop hating the treadmill:

1. Climate control. No ice, no rain, no snow, no heat wave, no cold weather gear, no coming home and waiting for your thighs to defrost or cursing the sunscreen that's sweated into your eyes… Just go time.
2. Reality television. It's so much harder to watch an episode of the Jersey Shore running thru a park… well. unless your park is in the middle of Jersey (like mine) where you might sight a Snookie or two… 
3. A handy dandy dash board.  No figuring out where to carry your Gu, hydration, music, towel, iPhone, uh. remote control for reason number 2 - treads have all kinds of cup holders to stash your crap.  And talking about crap...
4. Potty perfect.  Gu hit your tummy hard? Too much pre-run hydrating? Running so hard you feel like puking? Never fear, a potty is near!
5. No dogs, children or sidewalk cracks to trip you up.  On my run the other day thru the hood, I made the mistake of running by a middle school just as the tweens were getting out. Oh the horror. Weaving in and out of walls of kids with heads buried in their cool smart phones was a great time if you like running a 15 minute mile. Also, I'm good for catching every little bump in the road just at the right spot to trip. 
6. Mindless Miles.  It's not to say they aren't worthy or important miles. Sometimes it's just a relief to run without thinking of anything. I can blast my music and truly tune out. When I'm running outside I'm on heightened alert for above mentioned dogs and sidewalk cracks, plus cars, bikers, predators and other things that can harm ya.  I like that I can completely zone out.
7. Hill and speed control. Wanna run up hill - no need to go out and find one! That's so old school. Incline it up, baby!  Want to know what it feels like to run a 5 min. mile? - Set it to 12.0 and have at it. Good luck. Modern technology! I do like challenging myself to running faster and faster on the tread.

So what's your thoughts on our poor, often hated friend the treadmill? Love him or hate him? 

What's your favorite thing about the tread? Your least favorite?

XO

Jen

Talking to yourself: Not just for crazy people

"If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right." - Henry Ford

Ugh. I mean, hills make me strong

I am a great believer of self-talk. In fact I live or die by it. I used to be filled with self-doubt and negative self-talk and I didn't even realize it! I would wake up in the morning already groaning internally about the weather, the traffic, the 'tough' day ahead.  I had to consciously change that thought behavior and I work every day at it by using positive self talk.

I love the Ford quote above because it's so friggen true. When I was 236 pounds I could've said to myself, "I'll never lose weight, run a block, be healthy… I'm a failure." And I could make that all true. Or I could've said to myself, "I'm going to stick to my health goals, run what I can at any given moment in my weight loss journey and become healthy."

Luckily, I chose the second statement and I chose to repeat it, repeat it and repeat it. Most of those times even "faking it til, I made it" in those earlier days.

In addition to positive self-talk, I find mantras, words, phrases to be very helpful during runs - or even in tricky food situations. They say that thoughts become words and words become action. I don't know the science of it all but I know that it works for me.

It seems I'm not Polyanna perky by nature. My first thoughts usually go negative, "this sucks" or "this is hard" when it comes to certain situations like long runs or hills. I have to be very aware of my tendency to do that and squash it quick!

I've started repeating things like, "I love long runs because_________" and I fill in the blank with 5 - 10 things. I have to. Or my brain just wants to say, "it sucks."  Ironically, I do like long runs but that mental game of 'finding the time' and just doing it can often get thwarted by my evil, negative brain trying to talk myself out of it.

During a workout where I'm feeling drained and like cutting it short I might think or say:

• You are strong
• There will be a day you cannot do this, today is not that day
• Suck it up buttercup
• You don't have to do this - you GET to do this - it's a privilege, enjoy it
• Pain is temporary, Pride forever (got thru my first half marathon with this one)
• This is joy
• I love this run
• Hills make me strong
• This might be tough, but I'm tougher
• This is the part that counts, so don't back down now
• I'm a warrior
• If this was easy, everyone would do it
• I'm an athlete
• This is your time

Most recently, blogger Maria Simone at Running A Life, quoted triathlon & running coach Bobby McGee with this: 

"Be the kind of person who does the types of things to have the results you want." I know that my friend Jason from Cook, Train, Eat, Race has been living by these words.

Words are powerful.


When I first started running, I called it the voices in my head that were like a bunch of mean girls… always telling me reasons why I can't… At least for the most part now-a-days - the mean girls have been hushed by a chorus of "you can's."

As you can see, I'm doing a lot of talking to myself. And sometimes I'm sure I look crazy. That's OK…  I'd rather be crazy than lazy! ;)

Do you talk to yourself during your runs?

Do you have a favorite go-to mantra?

Do you have a favorite running quote?

XO

Jen