National Running Day: 10 reasons why I run

I love running. Hear me roar.

I love running and never does a day go by that I'm not grateful that I stumbled upon this activity. More than "just a little exercise" running has completely changed my life and has shaped me into the person I have become today.

So in honor of National Running Day, not only will I run but I pay homage to ten reasons why I run:

1. Health:   My plan is to avoid diabetes, cancer, heart disease to the best of my ability. All the experts say that consistent exercise is crucial to the equation.
2. Fitness:   For sure I love that I can eat a few more things and still maintain my goal weight!
3. Community:  Who would've known the community of friends I would've built just because of a "little running"? HOLY COW. Some of my best friends and closest confidants have been born from this love. I've met people from all over the country and have even connected with people all over the world. AMAZING. 
4. Happiness:  I am a happier person and suffer from a tenth of the depression I once did. It combats the stress, it helps me cope with the big and small stuff that life hands us. Thank you running.
5. Music:  Running is my time to catch up on new and old favorite tunes - and this directly has impact on number 4 on this list!
6. Challenge: Every day is a new challenge, whether it's hating the hills a little less, running a little further or going a little faster - running always has someplace where you can test your limits and try a little more.
7. Victory laps: Whether you are crossing finish lines, (or meeting those personal daily challenges in #6) there is the sweet smell of victory at every mile marker! Big and small those little victories build up to lead to…
8. Confidence: I've been an insecure person most of my life but running gave me the gift of confidence. I know that I can work hard and get there. I no longer hate every flaw in my body, rather I am thankful that my body has been able to carry me - which has given me greater...
9. Appreciation: I appreciate the park I run through, getting to see and experience it in ways I'd never before. I appreciate a good bottle of water after a hot run, I appreciate that I'm able to run and it makes me reflect on those who aren't as fortunate - running is a daily reminder of how blessed I am.
10. Me: Aside from the importance of "me" time (yes, running time is truly 100% mine) I am a runner. It's like the third word that defines me personally - Mother, wife, runner. It is who I am.

Other considerations: My whole world has changed - What I do for fun, what I do to make money (I'm a health blogger aside from this personal blog…) many new friends, many new journeys and even a whole new business/film project (that I'm confident will be successful). It really awes me to think that one "crazy" day in Feb. 2010, making an on-the-fly, irrational decision to sign up for a half marathon could really change your life. But it did. Thank God. I came thisclose to thinking, "ah, never mind…" and not signing up... And then where would I be today?

Happy National running day! How are you celebrating?

XO

Jen

An open letter to anyone who is plateauing, frustrated, feeling stuck, ready to quit, etc...

Dear Buttercup:

I'm sorry you are feeling low/shitty/defeated and down in the dumps. I know the feeling and it sucks. It really does. But, just because you are feeling like this now doesn't mean it's time to throw in the towel. I mean, do you really want to give up on yourself? That's what you would be doing.

No. Don't you dare give up on yourself. It's time to suck it up.

This is my 300th post on this blog. Thank you for supporting me on my journey, I hope in some small way I've supported you or can support you on yours as well.

I've learned a lot and I was once in those shoes. I almost quit many times. But I didn't and you won't either. So please take a little tough love, kick in your caboose and maybe even a few words of wisdom from someone who had previously given up on herself and somehow fought her way back and still fights everyday.

First. All people feel like crap somedays. It's a fact. See that size 2 walking down the street? At some point she's thought her ass was too fat/flat/small/ugly/not worthy. See that gorgeous blonde? Someone made her feel inferior at some point and she comfort ate her way through a pint or two of Ben & Jerry's.

We all have bad days and shit feelings the trick is not letting those days become bad weeks/months/years.

So what's your woe? Maybe one of these might sound familiar?

1.  I f'ed up my food today. Ate too much and now I'm a failure.

Eating too much does not make you a failure it makes you human. Giving up might make you a failure. If I was a failure for every time I ate too much I should just kill myself. Holy crap I eat too much probably at least once a week. So what? It's just food. Dust yourself off, and do better your next meal.

2.  I am at a plateau.

And? Why on earth would you quit now? Look at your awesome progress. Giving up will guarantee you getting off the plateau and heading back in the wrong direction. If you are on a plateau you have to shake things up. Take a few calories out or add a few calories back - add a different exercise, make adjustments. I was stuck on a plateau FOR A YEAR. And it was my fault because I stubbornly didn't want to change what had worked to that point. It should still be working! Pout. I had to figure out the puzzle. Exercise, real consistent exercising was my answer. As annoying as that year was, however, I am grateful for that year because it eventually led me to the following year and another 50 pound loss.

3.  I can't do it.

Yes you can. You have to believe that you can though. Start visualizing the very thing you think you can't do - rock a bikini, run a marathon, skydive, playing basketball with your kids. Close your eyes everyday for ten minutes and just 'see it' until you feel it. When I could only run for 2 minutes I would pretend those 2 minutes were the last 2 of a marathon and see a finish line. Me? Run a marathon? Hardy-har-har-har… Impossible. 18 months later I ran my first full marathon.  Michael Jordan was a great believer in visualization and you should practice it too. The more you can feel what it's like to be in those shoes the closer you'll get to being in those shoes!  Stop believing the part of your brain that tells you you can't and start looking for the voice that says you can.

Listen, you've got decisions to make. It's easy to give up and give in to the temptation of throwing up your hands in defeat but why would  you? Make yourself worth fighting for or no one else will. You've only got one life to live so live the best life you can.

Today's failures lead the way to tomorrow's successes. Every 'failure' is an opportunity to learn! So failing is good. We grow from failing if we don't get caught up in the negative part. You get to figure out what didn't work and that will take you one step closer to your dreams and goals!!

Anyone who has been successful with anything has discovered the biggest secret out there… here it is…. are you still with me?

PERSEVERANCE

Hands down. It's not the smartest or the luckiest who become successful, it's those who never, ever, ever, give up.

Thomas Edison attempted the light bulb something like a 1000 times until he got it right! 1000! Can you imagine if he gave up at attempt number 280, thinking, "well crap, I've tried this nearly 300 times... this light thing is too hard. F it. I guess we're OK with candles."

It took Jack Canfield about 135 rejections and a few years before he finally sold "Chicken Soup For the Soul." Chicken Soup went on to sell 112 MILLION copies in 40 different languages. What if Canfield gave up after the 10th, 30th, 80th or 100th rejection letter? 

So if you're still working at getting your groove, losing the weight, running the half marathon, building your speed, selling a book, whatever - just keep going forward towards your 'finish line'. It won't always be pretty or easy. Sometimes you'll take a wrong turn or have to sit and catch your breath… but whatever you do, you keep going.

I hated not losing weight for a year but I would've hated giving up more. 

So suck it up, buttercup. No use looking back all we've got is the road ahead.

Persevere, reach your dreams, goals - live the life you want to because it's all within reach - you just have to believe it, work at it and never give up.  

I know you can do it.

XOXO

Jen

PS: Suggested reading for motivation, taking control of your life and attaining your goals: Jack Canfield "The Success Principals" - it changed my life.

Photography by BJWOK / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

5 ways to move that caboose when you're feeling stuck at the station

Siers / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

After a few years of losing weight / maintaining weight loss and finally having developed a healthy and active lifestyle there is at least one truth that cannot be argued - to truly be healthy we have to move it and keep moving it.

Oh trust me, prior to finding this unlikely love and passion for running I fought that concept every step of the way. I faithfully counted my Weight Watcher points, I worked at eating cleaner and leaner but still grumbled, kicked and screamed when it came to real fitness. 

This is probably why it took me more than 2 years to lose my first 40 pounds (and then after finding running) less than a year to lose 50+.

Now-a-days, exercise is a healthy habit that I have grown to love and appreciate but even with this appreciation comes many a lazy day where it seems like I can find any crappy excuse in the world to procrastinate or skip a run.

So here are a few things that keep me moving my caboose when all I want to do is stay at the station: (and blog hop, Facebook obsess, watch another Real Housewives episode or whatever…) 

1. ONE MILE. or rep, or sit-up or jumping jack. Whatever it is, sometimes you've got to fake it 'til ya make it. If I truly don't feel like running that five mile run I will put on my sneakers and tell myself to just run for one mile or just for 10 minutes. Sometimes I'll force myself to sit on the exercise bike, "for just 5 minutes" or do "just one set" of bicep curls.  First off, even if it's all you do, at least it's something - mentally and physically it is better than nothing, second, you have indeed "moved your caboose" and third - there's a very good chance that the momentum will build for you to do much more than the "only" that got you moving to begin with! You know how I feel, this is not the first time I've talked about doing whatever you can. I still believe in leaving "no mile behind."
2. POWER UP. Do you have a favorite work out song or two? Good. Fire them up! Blast it, remember the best sweat you ever had to that song, close your eyes and imagine those endorphins flooding your body. Likewise if you have a favorite running quote, blog post or inspirational passage.  People watch romantic movies (you know what I mean) to get in the mood for love so why not call upon images, music or words that will get you in the mood to move? Tap a foot, sing along and "get a good feeling," go for "the eye of the tiger," or remind yourself why you were "born to run" and get out there!
3. RACES. Keeping a race on the schedule is super motivating for me. I have to be working for something or some goal or it gets too easy to become complacent. The temptation to skip too many workouts is lessened when I know that I have my cold hard cash invested in a race and an expectation on myself to perform well.
4. DIAL A FRIEND.  Find one accountability buddy or cheerleader. Someone who'll gently (or not so gently) kick ya in the caboose when you need a little shove out the door. And even better if that person will get out there with you. Many times I have been lagging, and with a little help from my friends, got back out there and on track. In fact, some of the best workouts I've had in my life was courtesy of friendly 'peer pressure' from my friends - like the intense Cardio Barre and Boot Camp classes that my friend Angela forced me encouraged me to do!
5. NEW STUFF.  Now don't break the bank but I will say that when I need a little extra pep in my step and have a little extra money to burn that buying something new does wonders for my motivation. Whether it's a new gadget, pair of socks or cute new tech tee - there's something about something new that gives me that extra little boost to get going when the going is tough.

having a goal helps! couldn't wait to get this sticker on
my bumper!

On a side note, if you are really struggling to get going you might have to do a little digging. Have you been pushing yourself too hard and legitimately need a rest day? Are you burning yourself out with doing the same work out every day at too high of an intensity? Don't be afraid to try other activities.  Sometimes you do just need a break. That's OK too, as long as your break doesn't turn into a break-up, it's all good.

So what do you do to keep that caboose moving? 

What are some of your tips for keeping in the game?

Do you have a favorite song that psyches you up for running or working out? 

XO

Jen

Dear new runner: An open letter

Dear new runner:

My very first 5K stuff

Congratulations on your decision to go on this uncomplicated yet complex journey of running. Lace up your sneakers and charge up your iPod, you're in for an exciting and challenging road ahead.

This is the letter that the runner I've become would've written to the "running hater" I once was.

Listen, I know it's hard at first.  That's why you rock. It's hard but you're gonna do it anyway. Others talk about it, but you're doing it. This already makes you a winner. You might have to walk/run, keep your distance short, take it slow and experiment with running on a treadmill/track or outside. In fact please concentrate on not over-doing it in the early days. The worst thing you can do is injure and burn yourself out. When in doubt, it couldn't hurt to 'under-do' it even. I'd rather you come back from a five minute run feeling energized, accomplished and excited to do it again than do a 25 minute run feeling miserable and defeated.

Go sign up for a race. Seriously. Don't let it freak you out. Pick a 5K for 3 months from now (sooner or later based on your fitness level) plunk down your money and sign up. Right now. Go. I will still be here. Don't think about it - just do it.

Found one? Good. Now tell everyone about it. Go post it on Facebook, Tweet it. This is your "official" start to your running life. Congrats. Start your "5K" training program. There are several out there.  You see, there's something about setting a definite goal that makes your running moving forward and it helps keeps you motivated, "I have to run today, I'm training." To this day, I need to have a race on the schedule to help keep me progressing.

As a beginner, you might feel a little soreness in your back, your muscles or even your knees and ankles. I did. A little soreness (especially if you're carrying excess weight) isn't unusual. Do not confuse soreness with injury.  Follow the R.I.C.E method and if you suspect injury, see a doc.

You should go to a running store as soon as you can and get proper running shoes. Please believe me that this is not the place to cheap out. I literally tried to run in Payless "running sneakers" and learned very quickly that this was a BAD IDEA. If you don't live near a running store - you can learn here how to figure out a good running sneaker for you.

Please don't compare yourself to other runners. I started by running at a 4.0 on the treadmill and would eye people that were flying at unfathomable speeds. This is your training. It will be your race. Your journey. You'll always be slower than someone else and right now you are faster than the guy on the couch on his second bag of Doritos!

Running can support your weight loss journey but running does not give you a license to eat. Focus on fueling yourself with healthy foods, don't over-do extra calories or you won't see a loss if that's what you are looking for.

The running community is AWESOME. Support is EVERYWHERE. Go online and look for running bloggers, follow runners on twitter, Join running communities at places like DailyMile and Runners World. Connect, ask questions and join the club.

You are a real runner! Whether it takes you 15 minutes to run that mile or 6 minutes - you are a runner. Don't "weight" to get out there - who cares if you're not the fastest in the pack. Don't think you have to wait to be 20 pounds less to run. You can do it.  Here's a very inspirational story of someone who started at 349 pounds - a guest post on "Runs For Cookies." (Slim Katie has a pretty inspiring story herself.)

As John Bingham says, Whether you are the first or last across a finish line, it's the same finish line!!  Get out there and be proud of you! You have to be your own biggest cheerleader. You are a rockstar. Believe it.

Finally, you might not love it today. You might not love it tomorrow but someday you're going to wake up and crave running. Your life will be changed. You will find fitness, what 'runners high' is all about, confidence and passion. You will find out that you can go further than you thought. You will learn that you're tougher than you ever gave yourself credit for. Your world's of "I cant's will change to I cans."

You will find the indescribable joy of setting goals and accomplishing them. The thrill of the finish line.

I'm so happy for you. Enjoy your journey and see you out there.

"Everyone is an athlete. But some of us are training, and some of us are not." -Dr. George Sheehan

XO
Jen

For better or worse - I am a runner

I feel 100% better than I did a few days ago and want to thank you guys for taking the time to help me get thru the rough patches.

I always question whether I should write about the crappy moments here because, so many people tell me they look to this blog for inspiration and who gets inspired by hearing someone moan about stuff?  

I ultimately decide to share it because I feel like it's an important part of the journey. 

It's the part of the journey that if I don't talk about, A) it could hold me back and I desperately need to release. B) you guys give excellent support/feedback and advice and C) talking about it could possibly make someone else not feel alone when things don't go perfect or when they feel like they are failing.

And thru reflecting on the rough patch and taking to heart what a lot of you guys said I've come up with a big epiphany. I have changed. Big time. In every way.

When I was training for the half, it was cute. "The big girl trudging along trying to prove the impossible. Good for her." But in that process, a different person emerged. One who has more confidence, who embraces fitness, good health, sets AND achieves big dreams.  Many people will like this new Jen, some won't and some will need some time to get used to her.

A year ago when I started, I was a plus size girl who (on paper) was a better time -I'd slug down the shot with you, split the pizza, give you my time. Now, the shots are fewer ("Sorry, long run day tomorrow!") "Pizza? Is it my birthday? How about a little whole wheat pasta?" and "my time? What time?" And while I don't think anyone would say, "please go back to a size 16" - I'm a different person to get used to. I remember when I quit smoking, I had the same feeling where my smoking buddies were "kinda" happy for me but could sense they missed their smoking buddy.

And here's the good news about change.  I used to quit. I used to believe that a bad day/ or a bad week of feeling like I was failing would mean I WAS a failure. I would throw in the towel, say things like, "you see? Why bother?" A bad day like the other day would have me tailspin out of control and reaching for a Chinese menu faster than you could say egg foo yung.  

Now, when those days/weeks happen - I write, I think, I whine but I don't give up.  Ultimately, I shake it off. I fall down and I get back up again, I have faith that the sun will come out tomorrow - and it does.  This is big stuff. I'm rolling with the punches, I'm learning to do the best I can (and on days where it allows, better than my best) and on days that are tough, even accepting less than my best.

I will have those days again and rest assured, I will share the good, the bad and the ugly - but isn't that what all journey's are about? 

If running & training for a marathon were easy - everyone would do it.  It's not supposed to be easy.  This is my dream and no one is allowed to take it from me. I will do my best to be a good wife/mom/employee/bizpartner/sister/friend/marathontrainer/blogger - this new person is just having some growing pains, figuring out how to let it all fall into place and how to put the new puzzle together.   It might take some time but I'll get there.

XO

Jen

PS: Oh yeah. I ran today - 6.2 miles in 1:06 and a 10:35 pace - the first few miles I ran easy but really kicked up the last 3 - running mostly sub 10! WOW a look back at the first time I ever ran five miles in my life can be found here -  it's really cool to see the progress. That was last March - not only am I way faster but 5 miles is an "easier" run for me now a days… I love running.

Momma said there'd be days (weeks?) like this...

You should be warned. This isn't gonna be pretty. I'm in a seriously crappy mood.

Deep breath.

I am losing it. This winter is definitely kicking my ass.

I am having a very hard time getting my miles in for this marathon training. The snow, the icy roads, the short days, launching a business, being responsible for 8-10 blog a day/7 days a week for my little blogging job that pays the bills, being a mom to a special needs toddler and trying to be a decent wife is taking its toll.

I am starting to struggle.

I feel guilty that I'm not getting the miles in and I feel even guiltier when I do get the miles in. Here's a perfect example from this morning, I was going to run seven miles early to knock a few out (I'm still behind for the week as yesterday and Monday my son was home sick all day.) As I'm trying to get out, it starts snowing hard and my husband makes a snide comment about me, "being so busy, but having time to run… I guess you have your priorities…" UGH. I feel like I'm doing nothing right. I can't be mad at him because he does sacrifice for my running via not so clean of a house or backed-up laundry. Things do drop. Don't take his comment the wrong way, he's not alone, I get that vibe from most of my friends and family that my running (especially since it's so much for a marathon) is an unnecessary luxury that's just cutting out my time from doing "important things…" I can't even figure out how to make the argument that this is something that's important to me. No one really gets it, "can't you run a few miles here and there to stay in shape? Why do have to run for 2 or 3 hours?" And it's hard to have a good enough reason for non-runners who have expectations of you.  And what if they are right?

So now, I feel like I can't win. If I run, I'm a selfish jerk. If I don't run, I'm failing myself and something I really want to do. It's making me feel crappy all around.

For the record, I only got 3 miles in this morning because the snow was coming down fast and the roads were getting bad… My car is a crapmobile in these conditions and I didn't want to risk getting stuck and yes, the guilt of my full plate probably pushed me off the treadmill a little faster too.

I'm hoping that as the snow melts away and the days get longer, maybe things will even out. Maybe I'll be able to run at a time that doesn't interfere with anyone else. Right now, I can't get out before 7:30 because of my son.

If it counts for anything, I did manage a 12 mile long run this past Sunday… on the TREADMILL! I was hell bent to do it.  According to NIKE+ it was my fastest 10K time too. That was a nice little boost.

I have 14 this weekend to squeeze in - I'm hoping it's not slippery out so I can take it out to the streets… (12 on the tread did kind of suck). I'm also hoping that the selfish 3 hours I'll need to take won't piss anyone off too much.

San Diego Bling

By the way, here is a little motivation for me to hang on to the dream- a sneak peek at the San Diego RNR medal…

I'm sorry for the whine - there's not really many people I can "talk" to about this.

XO

Jen

Darkness, a gang of cats and tequila will not stand in my way!

YAY me!

I'm so happy, yesterday I had a long run day planned for 13 miles. This would be the longest I've ever attempted to run without walking. Both marathons I ran/walked and never in my wildest dreams during either of them, did I think I'd ever be in a place to be able to run for 13 miles straight.

In fact, during/immediately after my last half (which was only this past September) I vowed, "never again..." never again would i attempt to run/walk 13... and HA - what do you know, not only did I attempt it but it was "just another day at the office," it wasn't for a big deal race, just a little Saturday training. :) And I RAN the whole time. (Oh and by the way, my first 1/2 attempt took 3:30 to finish, my last 1/2 marathon took me 3:03 to finish - my 'slowish' training/non racing 13 I did in 2:36...)  clap, clap, clap.

But what has me even more happy than the actual running of the 13 miles is the finding a way to make it all happen. The ability to dig for follow through... and follow through is the best habit I've cultivated during this whole thing... Two instances of it:

I went to Atlantic City for a few days this past week and had 2 miles planned for Friday morning. It was only 2 miles (thank goodness) but I was partying it up, Jersey girl style - in a very non-athletic way. I didn't get "too" drunk but lemme just say, Corona's and tequila was a-flowin' - I definitely was cutting a rug and fist pumpin' right alongside a few Snookie wanna-be's. When Friday morning rolled around and my friends were sleeping or getting geared to hit the black jack tables, what was I doing? Cursing that last tequila shot and lacing up! I hit the gym and though I'm sure reeked like a frat boy during rush week, I knocked out my run - and even had a respectable pace.

And then there was yesterday's 13 miles.

I still wasn't feeling awesome (Jeeze, I can't party like a rock star like I used to) And I had a lot to do. I had my Weight Watcher meeting (where despite my AC trip, I still managed to lose almost a pound - yay!) I had some blogs I had to post for my blogging gig and I had a sick husband who needed a big afternoon nap - so I had to watch our son. But I knew I was going to have to run my long run.

Finally, my husband got up around 2:15 pm. By the time I got my compression socks on, filled my water  bottles, kissed the baby and did everything else it takes to get me out of the house, It was 2:30 - I knew that I was going to need just shy of 3hrs for this run and was concerned about light. It takes me about 10 minutes to get to my fav. long run park. It took me longer thanks to traffic.  Got to running around 2:50 - cutting my light close... The park doesn't have any lights along the path and lots of the path is surrounded by dense woods. I was worried, and then about 4 miles in, it occurred to me, just run five miles out and five miles back - if I still had light I could run back out in the park 1.5 and back and if I didn't, I would run around the little town right outside of the park.

Well, by 4:30 it was pretty dark, so turning around at 5 miles instead of stretching it out was a great call. I wound up running the last 3 miles in pitch darkness around town which was far safer/less eerie than the park.

Seriously? A tequila reference and a cat... perfect

I had to run about .25 into the park to get back to my car and it was DARK plus, it seems like a million cats had come out of nowhere - there were all of these little fuzzy things with eyes all over the grass just sitting there watching me run back to my car. OK then. Who knew that this underground gang of cats that only came out at night existed?

In any case, I did it - I got that long run in. I didn't make excuses, I didn't skip the whole run, because, "why bother, I won't have time to run the whole 13" or, "my husband is sick, I should really be around for him and I didn't even go back to my car at 10 miles (at some point I considered it, "since it would be too dark to see and that's still a decent long run) I did it and the ability to problem solve, push the excuses aside and follow thru has been a great gift of this journey.

XO
Jen

PS: I didn't feel even a third of the soreness I felt during the half runs. I elevated and iced the legs a bit because they felt a little crampy and used...
PSS: I've noticed my blog posts are getting lengthy, are they too long? You can tell me. I can stop some of the rambling, I suppose.

OMFG What if?

OK, so I did that long run day last Friday and since then, I've been mentally struggling. It was cold that day and my thighs took a few days to thaw out. I was super proud of that run but it wasn't easy. Not mentally or physically.

Which made me go check out the upcoming weeks of training- this week I go from 4 training days to 5 and it looks like this:

6mi (done today), 3 mi, 6mi, rest, 2mi, 13mi...  The week after that (Christmas) I'm scheduled to run on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day... Later, I'm running 14 miles on New Years Day, etc...

All of the sudden, I got dizzy. All these miles, all these "what ifs" what if it's snowing, what if I can't find the time to run 14 miles, what if my husband gets ticked that I have to figure a way to long run on Christmas? What if I have to do a long run on a treadmill? What if, what if, what if.  Some of them are imagined and some are real. 14 miles? 18 miles? What if I can't do it?

The last few days I've begun to question this journey. "Why couldn't I have stuck to half marathons? Why do I have to be so public about everything - now there's no turning back. UGH. Why did I already pay the entry fee?" These are the voices I've been fighting in my head.

Today I ran six miles. I feel good that I did but you would've thought I was running 100 miles with how hard the motivation was for me to find today. I actually went to the gym because it's kind of crappy out. I ran for 3 miles on the treadmill and was losing steam - I literally jumped off at mile 3 and took it to the street for the last 3.  That was a good move and I didn't give up. I don't give up. Very proud of that last 3 miles because the old me would've quit and went home, the new me works thru these moments.

I guess the biggest what if for me is, "What if I fail?" The ugly voices nag, "What if you can't?" 

I'm sure there's a hundred psychological reasons why I'm going thru this and probably a few physical ones too. Fear, doubt, laziness, habit. Who knows?

But in reflecting on this lull in motivation I've come up with some things to grow on:

1. I will stop looking ahead to what's to come in training and like any good recovery/self help member - take things "one day at a time" and "one mile at a time."

2. I am an athlete. And as such, some days, I will find training the best thing on earth and somedays I'm going to have to get out there, suck it up and just do it.

3. I don't quit. And this is my journey - thru these tough times is where you learn what you're made of. It's easy to do things when everything is clicking - the sun is shining, it's a perfect 60 degrees, all of your power songs are charged and there's nothing else to do but run. But that's not always reality. Real winners persevere when the going gets tough - anyone can do anything when it's all sunshine and rainbows. Winners did deep and find the motivation to go no matter what obstacles come their way.

4. I've never regretted a day of running - not ever. I know that this is something I will do forever - I don't want to go back to a goal-less, unmotivated, overweight, unhappy, non-blogging person. I love this new life but like anything in life worth having, takes effort.

Jason wrote this great blog today (thank you - helped get me out there) and spoke about a cool book that I need to pick up. In this book, the author speaks about stotanism:

"The definition, according to Mr  Burfoot, is that stotanism is about toughness, though it doesn't imply an insensitive, superman approach.  The stotan must be willing to stand on his own, to resist pain, to stick to his ideals.  A stotan is quietly self-sufficient.  He accepts the challenges of training, injuries, races, and disappointments without complaining, because he understands that simply by keeping on, by sticking to the path he has chosen, he will get stronger and better."

Needless to say with all the whining, my blog is the anti-stotan today but this idea has stuck with me and I take away the part that says, "simply by keeping on, by sticking to the path he has chosen, he will get stronger and better."

So for now I'm aiming for half the definition. I have faith and belief in that I will get better and stronger by sticking to the path.

I mean, seriously, what if?  What if I succeed? What if I get through this whole winter of training - dreadmills, snow and all? What if I dare to be my best? What if I run 26.2 miles? Who knows... but I can only get "better and stronger" for the effort.

XO

Jen

PS: Do you ever feel like this? How do you get your groove back?

Whatcha want? Aiming for less than 1%

Tara from Biggest Loser Season 7 - 26.2 finish

I was watching The Biggest Loser last night and the remaining four got to run a marathon. They had nearly no real training time and anyone who's been down the road of having to get marathon ready can appreciate the scratching of the head of how on earth are these people preparing to run 26.2 in just 30 days? It's probably even a little reckless that the audience isn't warned to "not try this at home." 

Who knows? I have to hope and assume that they've got some kind of really smart sport trainers that are getting these folks there and that the months of intense training (though not traditional running training) leading up to the marathon has enabled these folks to run without injury. 

As debatable as the training / TV show thing is, the one thing I do take away from these contestants is how much each of these contestants wanted it. Every single one of them wanted to finish that marathon no matter what. They were scared, nervous and apprehensive but they all made up their minds to run it/walk it/crawl it - if need be. And they all succeeded.

Months ago, I wrote a blog about want vs can't and that theme still comes up for me, often. WE CAN do anything, the question is do we want to? Do we want to bundle up and run in the wind and cold? Do we want to do long run day when you also have a ton of Christmas shopping to do? Do we want to run 2 miles, 6 miles, 12 miles or 26.2 miles?  

Do we want to re-evaluate, face our weaknesses, deal with our fears, suck it up and do it anyway?

The answer for me is often, maybe surprisingly, NO. I often do not want to run in the wind or do a long run day. When the weather is bad, I don't "want" to run on a treadmill. I often "want" to sleep late, chuck it all or eat pancakes and sausage. I want to order pizza and watch reruns of 90210 (the original).

I constantly have to talk myself into want. Wanting to do this, still takes a lot of mental work but that mental work is crucial.  If you tell yourself you can or can't, want or want not - you are right.  

I WANT to feel like a winner, I WANT to attain and maintain good health, I WANT to attain and maintain my ideal weight, I WANT to cross that finish line... Because I have all those wants, I choose to keep in the fight because I can.

I always have to remind myself to not lose sight of the big want for the temporary temptation. Whether it be skipping training or eating something bad - that "want" may feel good in the moment but will do nothing for me or the most important goals.  They do nothing for what I really want.

When the host of the Biggest Loser welcomed the four contestants to the starting line of the marathon, she mentioned, "Less than 1% off the American population will ever run and complete a full marathon." WOW! I think somedays I lose sight of how special of a journey this is because I've surrounded myself with so many blogging buddies who are running marathons that it seems almost like "everyone is doing it." But everyone is not doing it.  I am doing it - because I WANT to and I CAN and... 

I WANT to be in that less than 1% club.

Today I ran 6 miles that I kinda didn't want to do but am now so happy I did. I'm also working on wanting to do a long run of 12 miles this Friday. I might as well start looking forward to it, because either way, it's happening.

XO

Jen

Before & After Part 2 The Emotional

Jersey Shore half 2010

The post before this, I showed some of my physical transformation and while I still have some ways to go, I'm getting close to goal.

But more exciting than the physical transformation has been the emotional & mental "before and after" that I didn't expect to gain from running:

Before:
I can't run, I'm not athletic, running sucks.
After:
I can run, I am strong, running doesn't suck that bad and sometimes I even like it.

Before:
I'll never lose weight, I have no follow thru.
After:
I can commit to training, to believing in myself and had a whole winter of going from not being able to run for 13 seconds to running for 13 miles last May. I'm even capable of losing weight. There's nothing I can't do if I'm willing to work for it and take the steps to get there.

Before:
I have to accept things the way they are even if I'm unhappy.
After:
I have the power to change things I don't like, I just have to give up excuses and find solutions. (Even if it's snowing out I can run around my kitchen table 2000 times and get my run in -- no that's not awesome but there's always a way.)

Before:
I have soooo much stress, life sucks, I have to drink or overeat to deal.
After:
I have some stress but life is great - I just need to run it out and, think and regroup.

Before:
I felt like a loser through much of my life, often looking for the negative
After:
I look for the positive - I'm a winner :)

Running has given me so many life tools - coping skills, confidence, goal setting ability, friends and health- I had no idea it would give me such a great "after" life.

What about you? What's your before and after story?

XO
Jen

The honeymoon is over, can this running relationship be saved?

Forgive me friends for I have sinned, its been about almost a month since my last post and I've seriously neglected this poor little blog. Which isn't right. This blog helped me run a marathon for the love of God! It helped me shed nearly 20 pounds and it helped me find a little confidence along the way.

So what happened?

It lost that loving feeling... whoa that loving feeling. 

Actually I lost that loving feeling. 

When I first started running, it was like a new shiny relationship. Interesting, unexpected, no grasp on where things might lead. Every new day was met with a little rush of excitement... Friends cheered me on, there was always new gadgets to learn about, a new tip to take in, a further milestone to reach!

Then we got into a good groove. I loved running and running loved me.

Eventually, we (me and running) got married. Partners for life - I will run forever! I do!

The running "marriage" was great at first. I knew what to expect, I knew how hard I could train before "feeling it," I knew what songs got me going, but the "kiss" began to be not quite as exciting and slowly, I've started to take the "relationship" for granted.  

I'll often think to myself, "Eh, I'm not going to go as far, try as hard today. Two miles is good enough for exercise. I've already got a ring on it. I already ran a 1/2 marathon - I have nothing to prove anymore. Tomorrow I'll throw on the lipstick and heels. Today, I'll just coast."

Bad. Bad. Bad.

The honeymoon might be over but as any of us who's ever been in a long term relationship (with an actual person) knows, this is the part where the work really counts. You can only get by with complacency for so long before things start to melt away without even realizing it's happening. I need to keep challenging myself, finding ways to keep the relationship fresh and keep on going or before long my sneakers will be sleeping on the couch and I'll become a lump and wonder where it all went wrong. Or something like that.

It boils down to passion. Passion for running, for life, for love... without passion, we are merely existing and not living. Sometimes passion doesn't fall into our lap, it's up to us to make it, fake it or take it anyway we can. 

You may lose the "thrill" of the first kiss but there's something to be said about the warmth that comes from the confidence, security, dedication and commitment from being in a supportive, solid relationship. Running has given me a foundation, its up to me to maintain it.

I gotta bring sexy back. So, I'm putting on some lipstick and lacing up the "heels" (or sneakers) and I'm working on saving this relationship!

XO

Jen

What do you do to re-energize your exercise programs?

How will I get my groove back?

Haven't done anything this week in the way of exercising and I'm kind of "sloppily" doing Weight Watchers.  Pretty half assed to be honest.

The troubling thing is, I feel like I'm losing my mojo here.

I could've went to the gym and did weights and the bike but I kind of am leaning on the uncomfortable foot as an excuse.

Not sure what my problemo is but it blows.

Tomorrow I see the foot doc.  Hopefully I'll get my groove back.  What do you guys do when motivation wanes?? Anybody remember what the hell Stella did to get her groove back?  I need something.  Anything.  Help!!

XO

Jen

PS:  You have to admit the cartoon is kind of funny at least...