Drive by blogging

Sorry I haven't been around - been super busy, caught a bug and have had a packed week!

Ran twice this week - and once I even broke the 3 mile mark :) Yay.  I had to slow down then, because I spiked a fever for a few days.  Feeling ready to gear up and get back on training track.

Lost another 1/2 pound at Weight Watchers this week - so things are going in the right direction.

That's all I got for now.  In the middle of date night with hubby, which due to budgetary reasons, has been reduced to sushi from Shop Rite and a $1 movie from Redbox.  Good times.

XO
Jen

Three lessons I've learned: down 4.4 this week and back on track!

Last Saturday my weigh in wasn't my greatest achievement: I was up 3.4 pounds and told you all about it.

This week, I'm down 4.4 which means I lost the gain and a pound as good measure.

This is great motivation.  I am soooo happy! Yippee.

The weight watcher / running gods have conspired to help me get my groove back, which just a few days ago, I wasn't so sure of.

Thank you, thank you universe.  I did run on Thursday which I failed to blog about for some reason and I did a lot of general running around while keeping an eye on food.  But because I was still feeling down about backtracking, I wasn't noticing or appreciating all the things I was doing right this week.  Turns out, I must've done a lot right.

Which brings me to a few valuable lessons:

1.  Never be so focused on the bad that you miss the good.
We all do this.  We beat ourselves up for "only running" x amount of miles, or the pace was only --- whatever.  Maybe you ate too much cake or blew it at dinner.  How about celebrating what you did right.  Lacing up your sneakers when you much rather had watched a marathon of The Hills, or you may've eaten too much at dinner but the rest of your day was healthy and controlled.  I did it all week and instead of feeling good about it all, I lamented about, "where was my groove," when it was there all along.

2.  Someone else is watching
Last week, after my 3.4 gain weigh-in, A woman who hadn't been at our meeting in almost 2 years came up to me.  She hadn't seen me in more than fifty pounds.  She had tears in her eyes, apparently we had joined around the same time, a few weeks in, she gave up.  She said she remembered me because I had said in a meeting early on, "no matter what, I'm coming every week."  She was doubtful that I would still be here and when she saw me, she said that I was so inspiring to her, because I did it.  Even though, I was feeling low from the gain.  She didn't see that.  She didn't see my internal struggle with feeling like a failure.  She saw me as an inspiration.  Your failing is someone else's inspiration - even if you never know it.

3.  Slip ups and Set backs are simply times to reflect and learn something - Not a time to quit
I know this isn't radically new and I've said it before but it's worth reiterating.  A "never give up" attitude is a must.  Set-backs, hills, bumps in the road, getting lost -- all a part of the journey.  Whether you lose your way for just a meal or even a month, there's always a way to get moving forward again.  Our set backs need to be viewed as great opportunities that we learn and grow from, that will eventually propel us to greater heights instead of a reason to quit.

XO
Jen

How will I get my groove back?

Haven't done anything this week in the way of exercising and I'm kind of "sloppily" doing Weight Watchers.  Pretty half assed to be honest.

The troubling thing is, I feel like I'm losing my mojo here.

I could've went to the gym and did weights and the bike but I kind of am leaning on the uncomfortable foot as an excuse.

Not sure what my problemo is but it blows.

Tomorrow I see the foot doc.  Hopefully I'll get my groove back.  What do you guys do when motivation wanes?? Anybody remember what the hell Stella did to get her groove back?  I need something.  Anything.  Help!!

XO

Jen

PS:  You have to admit the cartoon is kind of funny at least...

Got nothing... running on empty and empty on running

Oh man - it's been a tough few weeks.  Just wanted to update you since I haven't blogged in a few days.

That $%^&@!! toe nail injury really set me back.  It took me a while to get back and just when I thought I was ready to really run again, that foot is weirdly achey all over. The arch, ankle and heel feels strained and my hip is bothering me.  I must've been walking/running on it wrong to compensate for the dumb toenail or something.  All I know is it hurts to walk and I'm afraid to run because I don't want to really damage anything.

UGH!

I'm trying to remain motivated and all this non-running is such bad news for my momentum.

I go see a new foot doc on Thursday, hopefully he'll have some news.

So that's it.  I'm empty.  I'm hoping to get a fill on running again soon.  How are you people all doing??

XO
Jen

I gained 3.4 pounds and it's all good

So, as predicted, my weight watcher weigh-in was a slight horror.  Up 3.4 pounds since my last visit.

But I'm OK with it.  Besides my Latino food festivities of yesterday, what else could I expect?  In the last 3 weeks, I've:

started a new writing job

moved to a new home and town

traveled to Los Angeles

lost a freakin' toe nail

lost time training thanks to said toe nail

continued to work full time at launching a media business

worked all last weekend at a freelance job 

continued to deal with a deadline over my head for an important writing project

and (deep breath)

not to mention the day to day of raising a toddler, taking care of my home, etc...

I have to tell you, I'm cutting myself a fricken break.  Why would I beat myself up and not celebrate that I've ONLY gained 3.4 pounds!  If I was chatting with a friend (instead of myself)  I would tell her, she was doing well.  So, I'm celebrating that, I've fallen but I am getting back up again.  I'm celebrating that if I've learned anything over these last 3 years of Weight Watchin' that some weeks there'll be good weigh ins and some weeks there'll be bad ones, because that's life.  I am reminding myself that once in a while we'll fall but it's not the end of the journey.  In fact it's a big part of it.

It's in our greatest "mistakes" we learn the most about ourselves.  About perseverance, about what we are made of.  This is where we grow... (even though I wish I wasn't growing so literally!) 

I sometimes think we get it wrong in the WW meetings.  They give stars and applause to the people who've lost weight, who's in the throes of smooth sailing.  That's all find and good.  It is well deserved.  But I think we should celebrate the times that we aren't sailing so smoothly.  We're down a first mate, the waters are rough, we're being battered and bruised, yet -- still make it through?  

I've decided to wear my 3.4 gain like a badge of honor - just until I can take those pounds off and get my next shiny star.

  

XO

Jen

PS:  I'm giving up the countdown in the entry title- it's too annoying and it's too far away to be interesting, I think.

I'm having a fat day...

I'm feeling so bloated, I am even too lazy to figure out an appropriate title to this entry.

Taco Bell for lunch.

Cuban food for dinner...

No running today.  Awesome.

Ran for about 30 mins yesterday.

Weight Watcher weigh in tomorrow is going to be a horror show but I'm ready, practically craving to get back into step with it.

I really wonder why we sabotage ourselves?  Like I ordered two of the most fattening things at TB... I could've ordered from the al fresco menu, there were a million things I could've done better but I ate like I never saw food.  I wasn't that hungry.  I don't even like TB that much.

I was a little bit more of a victim of the Cuban food.  A friend brought it over and he practically bought one of everything.  Even so, when I'm on point, I'm happy to resist.  I am capable of doing better.

Having a fat day is more than just my pants feeling a little tight (and they do - I'm still playing catch up from being away and the toe debacle) + the sodium from fast food lunch isn't helping...  But I feel fat mentally.  Like the fat is blocking me from thinking rationally and then it's just one blobby mess.

Ah well.  This isn't my first, nor will it be my last "fat" day.  Hopefully they will be fewer and fewer and further and further, apart.

XO
Jen

day 35 - 110 days to go - steps of progress

This stairway is significant.

70 pounds ago, when I was still working full time in the city, these stairs ran alongside the escalator at the train station.  I always took the escalator.

One day, the first week of my weight loss journey, I thought I would take the stairs to burn a few calories.  They were so hard to do that I had to rest half way up for a second!  I was huffing and puffing and sweating my way up.  I thought my heart would beat out of my chest and I could die right there.

Today, I decided to run up the stairs because the escalator was pretty crowded.

I ran up those steps like they were nothing.  Not only didn't I rest but there was no sweating, there was no huffing and puffing.  I could've carried on a full conversation!  I didn't feel taxed in any way.  I felt like I could've ran another 100 steps.  It just felt normal.  No problem.  Like a stroll in the park.

It was like magic.

Or scratch that.  Not magic.  HARD WORK.  

The progress has been so slow that sometimes it's hard to realize how different I really am, or how far I've truly come.  The scale moves slowly and occasionally I'll move down a size.  Yes, I even ran/walked a half marathon... but, wow, to remember how it felt the first time I ran up these steps to now.... it's incredible.

It just goes to show, if you keep in the fight, you can tackle anything.  One step at a time.

XO

Jen

Day 34 - 111 days to go - first day of the rest of my running life

I am back.

First apologies about not posting every day but it's been kind of slow and rather than bore you, I think I'm going to just blog a few times a week when there's something relevant going on.

My toe looks ugly as hell and is still tender but in a sneaker and running it feels as good as new.

AHHH.

So now, no more excuses.  No more BS, no more whining.  It's just me and training.  The first day of the rest of my running life.

I'm still waiting on the edge of my seat to find out about the NYC marathon.  Still not quite sure what I'm hoping for here. ;)  I do think that if I don't get it, I am 90% sure I'm going to attempt the Vegas full, so the training will happen.

I ran around town today for a little over 2 miles.  It was a good but easy run (only 4.7 mph) and I thought it was a longer run.  I really have to get that NIKE + thing, I think it'll be helpful - I'm ready to turn the corner and get focused.  I've been floundering the last few weeks with food and training.  I've new goals to reach and most importantly - I am yet to prove to myself that this is truly the new me.  This isn't a fluke, running the 1/2 wasn't just something to do to say I could - it's the beginning of running towards a new me.

There will always be a fear of slipping back into old habits.  I know that I'll always be a cheeseburger and a few lazy days away from a size 16 or more.  It scares me but I'm going to remain in the fight no matter what.

Yesterday I had a fortune cookie with lunch.  I loved my fortune.  It read:

Winning isn't everything but the will to win is.

XO
Jen

Day 31 - 114 days to go - I'm running!

Yay!

Got my running sneakers on today! (Yesterday I wore a bigger pair of crappy sneakers I own)  They felt pretty good and though my toe still feels a little sore, I decided to suck it up and run.

Actually, I had to run for my sanity and I'm glad I did.

It was only for 1.5 miles (about 20 mins) but it felt really good.  Though the overall average was around 4.7 mph - there were plenty of times I was running between 5.3 - 6.0.  the good thing about having a sore toe is the pain from the toe, distracts you from how hard you are working.  And then when your blood starts pumping and the endorphins kick in, you no longer care about the sore toe.  It works out perfectly.

I am still running a little "off" so while I was tempted to, I decided not to run much further.  I don't need to hurt my knee or something from running improperly, so I did some upper body training and called it a day.

All in all, i'm happy that I'm back on track - pretty soon I have to start training.  Haven't heard if I was selected for the NYC marathon or not but either way -- I gotta get back to some real running.

day 30 - 115 days to go - baby stepping and baby running

I went back to the gym today with the sole goal of doing the bike.  I even managed to get my own sneakers on today, though it felt pretty uncomfortable on the toe, I was happy to be in them.

I was on the bike and damn it, a good song came on.  I just had to try.

So I got on the treadmill and ran.  Oh it was not a pretty run - it was stiff and funky - I probably looked like a zombie from night of the living dead, kind of dragging my left foot.  And it wasn't fast (like 3.8) AND it certainly wasn't long - only five minutes, due to pain and the fact that I feared the zombie walk could lead to injuring my hip or knee, (such bad form) - BUT- none the less run I did.  Zombie foot drag and all, I enjoyed it and felt a renewed hope that I'll be on my way once again.  

After my five minutes of running, I went back to the bike, rode a couple of miles to burn a few calories and limped  back to my car feeling pretty victorious.  Tomorrow, maybe I'll run for six minutes... 

XO
Jen

Day 29 - 116 days to go - Happy National Running Day

It's National running day - who knew such a day even existed.  Not one single running hallmark card has crossed my path!  :)

I was pretty bummed to realize it was such a running holiday and still can't run.  I did manage to get a sock and my husbands sneaker on to hobble to the gym.  It was sore and annoyingly uncomfortable but I was able to do 30 mins on the bike.  My goal right now is to stop the weight gain bleeding and keep a little cardio and training going.  So my aim is to do it again tomorrow and Friday.

I'm hoping that within the next few days I'll be back to my own sneakers and some running!

XO
Jen

Don't forget to check out my shopping blog at NJ.com!

Day 28 - 117 days to go - 26 Miles?

Hey all - sorry I haven't been around.  My stupid toe is still mending and I'm still not running.  It sucks.  It's feeling better but it still doesn't feel good in a sneaker.  I'm hoping to get out there within the next few days because I am fighting feelings of feeling blobby.

Anyway, this is kind of big news.  I might run the NYC marathon!  A friend of mine who works for a big non-profit called me today.  I guess her charity sponsors runners and they are interested in possibly sponsoring me!  My first instinct was to say no.  I mean 26 miles in a 158 days?  And the NYC marathon is no joke.  This is a serious race with lots of hills and real runners.  This isn't running along a boardwalk.  This is hard core.

Yikes.

I don't even have a full set of toes to work out with yet.  How could I pull this off?  How could I say yes?

But, how could I say no?  I just finished reading a book from a psychic intuitive who writes that nothing is an accident and that when the universe offers you opportunity, you must take it.  If the world opens the door - it's up to you to walk through.

I've been hemming and hawing about going for a full marathon and not only did the Biggest Loser remind me that it's possible but then here's this friend whom I've talked to all of twice in the last two years, calling to offer me this golden opportunity.  Not to mention that I wouldn't only be running for myself but raising money for charity.

So there you have it.  I told her yes, I would be thrilled.  There's myself and five others they are considering backing, so if they choose me - I guess I'll be running 26 miles come November.

XO
Jen