Getting My Groove Back: Week 1 Recap

A week ago I wrote a post, "It's A New Day" and so far it's been good. 

Here are the results for week one... (cue confetti) In the first week I dropped five pounds! Yippee! 

Pretty unheard of for me!  I am usually lucky if I drop .5 pounds in a week.

To be fair I started off probably artificially elevated a pound or two in water weight because the day before my last week's weigh-in I flew across the country and then ended the day with Chinese food. But still, I'm pretty sure it was at least a solid 2.5 weight loss and I will gladly take that! :) 

For the first time in a long time I feel like not only am I back on track but that I'm not going to fall off track so easily. I know there will be blips and set-backs but not for weeks or months like what has been going on.

In that last post I reported that I was returning to Weight Watchers and focusing on the "Simply Filling" technique. Going that route has proven to be such a great call! I'm not sure why I hadn't thought to go back to that sooner - I did lose most of my weight following "Core" which was Weight Watchers first version of Simply Filling. 

I'm loving it. I'm loving it for all the reasons it worked the first time. The program is basically based on eating healthy foods until satisfaction with a little room for indulgences along the way. If you're hungry, eat something that is on the approved list or use your weekly points. No need to ever feel hungry on this program. It's been great. I also started week one of Marathon training - nothing too stressful - a 4 mile run, two 3 mile runs and one five mile run. Got the runs in and some strength training. 

I just kind of finally had a 'did things right' sort of week. I drank more water, I didn't drink alcohol during the week (I left my wine behind during the week but definitely enjoyed on Friday and Saturday), I wrote down my foods, and made a real effort to make good choices even in tricky situations. 

newest member of my household
silly but it's making me drink more water! 

For example, on Friday I had this thing with work and we had a pre-set menu to choose from for me (as a gluten free person) I could have gf pizza, gf pasta primavera, gf penne with vodka sauce, a cheese burger with no bun and fries, or a grilled chicken caesar salad. Now trust me, this is a really good Jersey Italian place and I know their pizzas and pastas are awesome. In the past even if I was trying to watch it, I would've just jumped for the pizza or pasta but I also know that if I did these meals would eat up most of my weekly extra points. 

I decided to get the caesar salad (no crutons) dressing on the side. I will not lie. As my co-workers received plates of pasta and pizza and I got my little dry salad with chicken, I had pangs of regret and food jealousy. But then I started to eat my little salad and it was tasty and I got full and felt good. No  it was not as tasty as penne with vodka sauce but you've gotta decide what you want in the big picture every once in a while. A mid-day work-lunch was not where I wanted to use 'indulging' points. And I also passed on the cheesecake and requested a plate of fruit. I'm happy I made that choice. 

delicious lentil soup I made for some easy SF lunches
RECIPE HERE 

Those were the types of choices that I used to regularly make years ago (2007-2010) when I lost my weight. Those choices become easier and easier as you make them. I am realizing that this weight crept up because I forgot about doing all that. I got too comfortable going for the delicious choice rather than the healthier one. I had fallen back into the habit of indulging perhaps more than I realized. If this lunch was two weeks ago, I  would've had the pasta and the cheesecake. I would've thought my pretty healthy breakfast and pretty healthy dinner (with a martini) "wasn't so bad" and scratch my head as to why I keep gaining weight. 

So, sometimes an old dog has to relearn old tricks. Guess that's just how it goes on. The journey never ends. :)

How are you doing? 

XO

Jen

Lose weight and keep it off: Ten ways to weigh less in the New Year

I know this is a running blog and a lot of you do not need this advice, however as someone who has lost more than 90 pounds and has successfully kept it off for ore than a year now, I feel I can offer something for those of you who have been battling and battling weight.  So I'm (kinda) hanging up my sneakers for this one.

My weight loss wasn't immediate or easy. I have dealt with weight issues for most of my 39 years of life. I've lost it, gained it back, lost it again and have made a million mistakes. But here are some things I've learned.

Ten things I've learned about losing (and maintaining) weight loss:


1.  WHY?  First off, it is very important to write and FEEL the reasons why you want to lose weight. Being a smaller size to me was never that important to me. Yes. I hated how I looked and yes, I wanted to wear cute clothes but it just wasn't enough for me to keep going. However, hanging out with a few people who were negatively affected by diabetes and obesity began to motivate me. I saw my future riddled with health issues, physical limitations, depression and decreased quality of life. I had to make a decision that I WAS WORTH making good choices for so I could look forward to a better life.  And when the going gets tough it doesn't hurt to have me imagine the pain I would put my son and loved ones through if my decisions were to cut my life short.

2.  HEALTH VS WEIGHT LOSS.  Never mind the weight loss at first. That's right. Put the weight loss out of your mind for the first few days. Make your first goal to strive to eat as healthfully as possible. Don't immediately get hung up on serving size and calorie restriction because that's a diet and diets don't work. Lifestyle changes work. So, make a commitment to eat healthfully 90% of the time. Have oatmeal or a veggie omelet or yogurt with fruit for breakfast instead of pancakes and bacon.  Choose a blackbean soup and salad for lunch. Think in terms of fuel and feeding your body with great stuff. Make a game of choosing well whenever you can.  Olive oil instead of butter or a banana instead of syrup on a waffle. Once you've got a handle on that, start looking at 'calories in and out.'  Ironically by eating well you may naturally shed some weight without even trying.

3.  EAT.  Stop starving yourself, it's a sure backfire - you're slowing down your metabolism and setting yourself up for failure. Plan on 3 healthy meals and 2 healthy snacks a day. If you've eaten for the day and  are still (truly) hungry then EAT.  Sometimes if you drink some water or tea first you'll find that you weren't really hungry but if you are then turn to another healthy snack - an apple, a serving of veggies, a small fat free yogurt, a low fat string cheese. Deprivation will not serve you.  Better to eat fifty extra calories now than 500 later when you get to the point of "F" it - I'm-so-hungry-I don't-care-and-will-eat-til-I-can't-see.

4.  ONE MEAL AT A TIME.  Do not overwhelm yourself with the big picture.  Tackle your meals one at a time. If two out of three of your meals are solidly healthy then you are doing pretty good. Even if just one meal a day is solid - then you're doing better than nothing. If a meal was too indulgent, you've got another one right around the corner to get back on track.

5. IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS.  Feel like having a burger? Go for it. Skip the cheese, bacon and mayo and save more than 400 calories!! Trade a salad for the fries and save even more. For so long I thought, eh, I'm having a burger anyway, what's the difference if I throw a little cheese on it?  It adds up. Make just a few of these little choices a day and they add up to a lot over time.  What are the little things?  Skim milk instead of full fat, low fat cheese in lieu of regular, mustard instead of mayo, sandwich thins instead of regular bread, lean ground beef instead of regular and so on. Make swaps where you can.

in my case, i might occasionally drink
my calories

6.  FOOD GUILT IS STUPID.  I can relate. You're not stupid for feeling guilty but lighten up. We all love food. We all have issues with food and sometimes a wrong choice happens.  Shake it off and move on. Guilt leads us to loathing and loathing leads to depression and depression often leads to more overeating. So you ate a cupcake (or two) or you ate too much or ordered pizza… Listen. Welcome to the club. I've made a zillion and one of those missteps and still reached my weight loss goals. Dust yourself off and refer to tip number four.  If you want to counter some of the damage, take a walk, drink more water, analyze what went wrong. Guilt does nothing for you.  Instead of guiltily look back at the last meal, look forward to your next to get it better.

7.  SUPPORT.  I know a lot of you feel you can do it on your own but from my perspective, support is the best thing you can have - you just have to figure out what kind of support is best for you and seek it out. Do you need  a drill sergeant type that is gonna bark at you and ride your ass? (NOT ME!) but if it's you, find that. For me, I thrived at Weight Watchers. A solid program of healthy eating + weekly meetings + a weekly weigh in that keeps me connected was what worked for me. Find it, reach out for it and never stop looking until you find the support you need.

8.  MOVE IT and MOMENTUM.  I know that this is no news flash but you've gotta get some exercise in. I'm not saying you have to start running marathons (or even running for that matter) but aim for something. I don't care if your goal is just five minutes a day for a week.  You can do five minutes of lifting soup cans as you watch TV, five minutes of walking around the block, five minutes of jumping jacks or sit-ups… The most important part early on is just getting used to doing something everyday and building that momentum. As you get stronger, add more minutes and intensity. Even I had to stop an "all or nothing" attitude and that's how I came to my "No Mile Left Behind" philosophy. Some days I run 3, 6 or 8 miles and somedays I only run for ten minutes. It all counts.  Keep looking for an activity you enjoy and give it a fair shot. It probably took me a good month or two before I started to enjoy running, it took me longer to begin loving it and now I can't live without it. But, I was once the girl who would've rather have had a root canal than be subjected to run for 12 seconds.

9.  SPECIFIC GOALS + ACTION.  Once you've been eating healthfully and have a little exercise routine, you need to get specific about your goals. This is three fold. It's very abstract to say, "I want to lose weight." It's easy to lose focus on something so willy nilly.  It's better to say I want to lose 20 pounds by April 25th.  Set a date, circle it and look at it every, single, day. Then, break that into smaller goals - I want to lose 8 pounds by February 1st, for example. Then, break those goals into a specific plan. Write out how you'll get there. I will lose 8 pounds by February 1st by: Exercising for a minimum of 20 minutes a day, I will make every monday entirely vegetarian, I will attend Zumba every Friday night.

As runners - we don't just put a marathon on the calendar - we plot out how we intend to get to that goal thru a training plan.  And like running, even if your training plan isn't 100 percent perfect - we can pull off the marathon.  You don't have to be 100% perfect in your weight loss goals to get there either.

10.  FLEXIBILITY and NEVER GIVE UP.  For me, there is no "on and off" a diet. I just strive to do the best I can at any given moment and sometimes my best is oatmeal and fruit and sometimes my (not so) best is Chinese take-out.  Sometimes my best laid plans are foiled when I go to someone's house for dinner, I show up at a restaurant with a limited menu or I can't get my workout in. That's life. Be flexible, roll with the punches and accept that there are no paths or roads in life that are completely bump free. When you hit a bump, that's to be expected. No one is perfect. No one can be 100 percent the model eater and exerciser all the time. Just don't give up. One year of my 90 pound loss, I bumped around and only lost 7 pounds the whole year. OOPS. But I didn't give up and was able to get to the following year which brought me a 50 pound weight loss….  Glad I stuck it out.  And now 2 years later - who cares what year I lost what? Never give up and you'll get there.

DON'T LET THE SCALE DICTATE YOUR SUCCESS OR SELF-WORTH!!!  Sorry for the shouting but it's very, very important.  There are so many things to celebrate in your journey aside from the scale!! Did you choose healthier foods today? You rock. Did you exercise 3 or more days this week? You rock. Did you walk or run just a little further today then yesterday? You rock. Did your blood sugar improve, your risk of heart disease go down, your knees start to feel a little better? ROCK ON. Good decisions make so many good things happen and sometimes the scale doesn't give you the big picture so don't put so much "weight" on it.

Good luck with your goals. Please feel free to ask me any questions, rant, celebrate or anything else at any time!

XO

Jen

Biggest Loser Marathon and the Jack LaLanne Juicer giveaway winner!

Biggest Loser Marathon Season 12
Debbie and Johnny - running

I am a sucker for the Biggest Loser marathon.  I am. And I'm glad they brought it back this year.

I know critics will argue that people don't live like that in reality, with trainers around the clock and nothing to do but train but so what? 

me at my heaviest

Aside from the training / reality debate of it all, I still feel a swell of emotion when I watch it.  Perhaps it's because I can relate to these people.  A few years ago, I could've qualified to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser.  At 236 pounds I would've fit right in at the ranch. Like those contestants, running two feet at my highest weight was extremely difficult, running 26.2 was flat out impossible. I would've laughed at the sheer ridiculousness of the suggestion. Better chance of me going to the moon. It was that impossible.

Yet, like the biggest loser contestants, I found health, the power of believing in yourself, the willingness to try and an incredible physical and emotional transformation.  

I guess for me, as each one of those contestants cross the finish line, it reminds me of my own journey of literally going "from fat to finish line."  I know what it feels like to come back from practically being dead -- from killing yourself through self-loathing, enough to eat yourself into a hole of fatness that you're not sure you'll ever find your way out of. 

me this past Sat. night.

But somehow they and I - whether it was from luck, hard work, a TV show, a gift from God or whatever -- found the strength to put one foot in front of the other and save ourselves.  We got out of that hole and to a starting line.  We found a life worth living.

All of their lives are changed from this experience. From Ramon who finished around the 5 hour mark to Jennifer who sobbed tears of joy into the arms of Bob for her accomplishment… 

I was truly moved by 65 year old Johnny and 60 year old Debbie, who stuck together and walked much of it but soldiered on to cross that finish line, even though it took more than 10 hours.

My heart broke for Joe who DNF'ed because the show doctor pulled him a little over mile 20 -- he was so close and was determined to finish but the doc feared long term injury and wouldn't allow him to. My heart ached for him, even if it was the right decision. I would've been devastated to have to quit and I saw a new competitor in him (even though he was walking) who didn't want to give up in his eyes.

If nothing else, I hope that some people who watch the show and have ever thought, "I can't" can see that there always is a way to "can" instead.

Deep breath. Allow me to dry my tears and switch topics...

First, a shout out to all my new followers, thank you. I'm so happy to have you and I love your comments. Please stick around and contribute!

And in other news… The big winner of the Jack LaLanne juicer is Book Dragon!  Book Dragon was selected thru Random Number Generator.

Contact me so I can make arrangements to ship you your winnings!!

Did you watch the BL's marathon? What did you think?

XO
Jen

Friday Fast food Favorites: Cheap Eats that won't kill your health goals

DO NOT try this at home

Listen, I'm all about clean eating. If you have the time and money to always whip up a little quinoa/squash and organic whatcha-whatever - that's better. Do that. I strive to eat as clean as possible but… I'm also a realist that juggles a lot of stuff and a four year old toddler. Sometimes, I don't have the time or energy. And sometimes, I'll admit it, I'm just freakin' lazy.

None-the-less, I did lose over 90 pounds and came to rely on some of these foods on occasion.

So while I wouldn't encourage anyone to eat fast food on a regular basis every once in a while you might be caught out and about. It doesn't mean you have to throw it all away on a double-sized number one with extra mayo and cheese...

Here are my favorite go-to's that are not only affordable, they are under 300 calories:

1. Wendy's. Wendy's is my number one favorite fast food restaurant for when I'm stuck eating on the road or in a mall. There are a number of decent choices. I usually like to order a small chili and a side garden salad. I top the salad with one of the fat free or reduced fat dressings offered. The chili is high in fiber and low in fat. I have also ordered the baked potato and mandarin oranges off the menu. Small chili (no added cheese or crackers): 220cals. 7grms fat. 6grms fiber.

skip stuff like mayo and load up on veggies

2. Subway. Between thumbs up votes from their spokesperson Jarrett and the cast of the Biggest Loser, most people are aware of Subway's healthier options. Even Apolo Ohno teamed with Subway to raise money when he recently ran the ING NYC marathon. Stick to whole grain breads, lots of veggies, mustard and turkey breast for a low calorie sandwich. 6" Turkey sub with mustard: 280cals. 3.5 grms of fat. 5grms of fiber.

3. Pizza. Being a Jersey girl there is always a slice of pizza from the local mom and pop shop within distance. I like to top my slice with a bunch of healthy veggies when possible. An average slice of thin crust cheese pizza (from non-chain pizza parlor) is 272 cals. 9.8 grms fat. 1.8 grms fiber.

Again, these choices are no match for cleaner eating. I'm pretty sure sodium levels and processed words run rampant in some of these choices but at very least these choices provide a little bit of fiber, are portion controlled and are not a total fat and calorie disaster.

When in doubt order a salad or plain burger and be aware of fried toppers, fatty dressings and extras like cheese and croutons. 

mmm - a warm fuzzy blanket of comfort food

Honorable breakfast mentions: Starbucks 'perfect' oatmeal. Oatmeal that comes with a packet of brown sugar, dried fruit and nuts. This isn't super lowcal but it's one of my favorite pre-race breakfasts. If you skip the dried fruit and only use a touch of brown sugar, it's probably a little healthier. If I'm at McDonald's I'll get their new Maple Oatmeal with fruit or just a plain, old-schoool, Egg McMuffin. 

Do you have an affordable "kind of" healthy fast food go-to?

Happy Friday everyone!!

XOXO 

Jen

GOAL! What I found as I lost 89 pounds and other stuff

I made my Weight Watcher goal today.  

Holy cow! I made my goal! Cue confetti and balloons!

I have been trying to lose weight for the better part of the last eleven years. 3 years, 3 months ago I made a commitment to myself not to give up until I got there. I did pretty good the first year - I lost close to 50 pounds - the second year, I kind of floundered around and "only" lost 7... (though I earned everyone of those 7 so I hate to say say only...) and then last February I found running and since running I guess I'm down another 32 tough pounds - the running literally helped me to cross this weight loss finish line.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. This thing was no sprint. It was a marathon. And though I've crossed my "finish line" in this marathon - it's no time to hang up the sneakers. In fact, it's just time to buy a new pair because I've got way more races to run.

If I want to continue on a healthy path, this is just the beginning. This is a lifelong journey towards good health and wellbeing. 

In three years I've learned that perfectionism doesn't exist, that perseverance pays off and set backs are a part of life (as are the occasional martini and french fry.) There were weeks where my weight didn't budge, "perfect" weeks on paper where the scale went up and bumps in the road. The big key is flexibility, getting back up every time you fall and instead of beating yourself up over the stumbles, learning from them, embracing them - for without them - you cannot progress. When babies first start to walk, every attempt is applauded, every time they fall down, they learn something and eventually they walk.

I lost 89 pounds and found so much - confidence, joy, belief in myself, being comfortable in my skin... Ironically, most of these found things didin't come because I look better in my jeans. Ugh. As cliche as it is (and I guess it's cliche for a reason) it truly is in the journey. It was all those bumps in the roads - facing down the setbacks, sucking up the disappointments... not dropping out of the "race" at mile 3 because I was tired and how would I ever get thru another 23...

I got a little choked up at my meeting today - but I guess that's how it goes, I always get emotional when I cross finish lines... 

So that's my story of the day. I'm feeling pretty darn good about it too. I'm not even beating myself up for last night's "long run" that was supposed to be 10 miles... I did 6 but it was on a treadmill on a Friday night after a snowstorm and I'm giving myself bonus points for all of that. Bump in the road, flexibility and all that jazz...

XO

Jen

PS: Julie - next post I will do the thing you tagged me in - thanks for that!! 

PSS: Yippe! Almost at 50 followers - thanks to all of you who've stuck with me or are now joining me on the journey. 

2010 a new runner's journey in review

Jen & Ang share victory at the Jersey Shore

I love me a New Year. So shiny, so new - so bursting with opportunity and "anything is possible-ness." A chance to look back at the previous year and appreciate the good, reflect on the bad and savor the great.

So as we count down the last few hours of 2010 I take this time to reflect on the 525,600 minutes that transpired for me:

The first few days of 2010 were tough, I lost my dear sister-in-law Ritzie from complications of diabetes. Her death was shocking and she passed way too early. Her passing reminded me that life is so short and that we must grab hold of our moments and take control of our health, the best we can. Her passing inspired me to continue on my weight loss journey.

January found me studying Jack Canfield, a self-help guru, who's book, The Success Principles really rocks. Through this book and its suggestions of writing out life goals - led me to putting "run a 1/2 marathon on the list..." Not sure where that came from, or if I was just filling space but there it sat on my life "to do" list.  The book urged to take action on your "to do." And while I took action on other things - that one just kinda sat there - alongside, go to the moon - it was kind of farfetched.

Come February, a best buddy of mine, Angela had just run the Surf City half marathon, and here that goal was on my list. On a whim I did a google search for New Jersey + half marathon and found The Jersey Shore half for May - I counted on my fingers - 4 months, a lifetime away - that sounds good. I don't know what came over me but without ever having run a day in my life, plunked down my credit card and signed up.  And so my running journey began.

With 42 days of training under my belt - I ran my first 5K on March 21st. And though my I huffed and puffed and had to run/walk/run those 3 miles - I crossed my first finish line - in 40:57. I held back tears - I might've well have just won the Boston marathon - I was so proud.

April brought training and more training - putting in the time and building up the miles to lead me to that big first race...

And on May 2nd, in record breaking heat and with my friend Angela (who flew in from LA to run this by my side) - I did it. I ran (and walked) my first 1/2 marathon. And a runner was born.

Later in May, I ran my second 5K with a good friend Frannie who was inspired by my blog to start her own running journey. She finished slightly faster than my 35:53 finish - a full five minutes better than my last 5K!

I struggled to find my running groove through June, July and August - the heat, a toe injury and a lack of something blocked my way.  Even with an upcoming September half marathon, I was off my game.

On September 27th, I ran my second half, again with Frannie and again she finished better. I ran strong until I hit a huge wall at Mile 10 -- I hobbled the last 3 miles and vowed "never again." What was the point? I was so disappointed with my 3:00 hour time, even though I had finished a full half hour better than the first one.

I was done. I would run for fun... No more marathons for me.

Yeah right - two days later, I signed up for the Jersey Shore half in 2011. Of course I did.

October was a nice comfy month of happy, easy running and feeling good - then in November...

November brought marathon fever - and the NY marathon. I got itchy. I couldn't get the idea out of my mind - maybe I should try to run a full - hmmm?  While pondering that, I crossed an 80 pound weight loss finish line, and ran my third 5K. I ran it in a pretty good PR time of 32 minutes - and knocked 9 minutes off from my first 5K! Jason named me a role model in his blog and it became official... I would run my first full marathon in San Diego.  And I got to training.

December brought long run days, learning to suck it up, dreadmill runs and snow... And today it brought my longest run ever - in fact my longest distance - I'd never even walked this far - 14 miles. And I did it in 2:41... Which is something I'm feeling pretty proud about.

And here's my New Year's toast to my fellow runners - I wrote it with an Irish accent in mind but use the accent of your choice ;)

Run with pride, may your shoelaces stayed tied, nice weather supplied and your heart your guide.

XO

Jen

Happy New Year!

Before & After Part 2 The Emotional

Jersey Shore half 2010

The post before this, I showed some of my physical transformation and while I still have some ways to go, I'm getting close to goal.

But more exciting than the physical transformation has been the emotional & mental "before and after" that I didn't expect to gain from running:

Before:
I can't run, I'm not athletic, running sucks.
After:
I can run, I am strong, running doesn't suck that bad and sometimes I even like it.

Before:
I'll never lose weight, I have no follow thru.
After:
I can commit to training, to believing in myself and had a whole winter of going from not being able to run for 13 seconds to running for 13 miles last May. I'm even capable of losing weight. There's nothing I can't do if I'm willing to work for it and take the steps to get there.

Before:
I have to accept things the way they are even if I'm unhappy.
After:
I have the power to change things I don't like, I just have to give up excuses and find solutions. (Even if it's snowing out I can run around my kitchen table 2000 times and get my run in -- no that's not awesome but there's always a way.)

Before:
I have soooo much stress, life sucks, I have to drink or overeat to deal.
After:
I have some stress but life is great - I just need to run it out and, think and regroup.

Before:
I felt like a loser through much of my life, often looking for the negative
After:
I look for the positive - I'm a winner :)

Running has given me so many life tools - coping skills, confidence, goal setting ability, friends and health- I had no idea it would give me such a great "after" life.

What about you? What's your before and after story?

XO
Jen

Before and After Part 1 - The Physical

Well, my WW weigh in was a dud today at the scale, I actually gained weight. I'm not too freaked about it because I had a big loss last week and I really didn't do anything to warrant a gain. I actually had a great week - I ran 20 miles, had my best 5K time, and was called a role model.

I also ate healthfully, I didn't eat anything out of the norm and was within my weight watcher points... In fact I earned about 38 activity points and didn't touch any of them so I feel my weight gain might be from not eating enough if anything. Oh well. Who cares? At this point I'm striving to be the healthiest I can be, run well and continue losing until goal. In that order.

Anyway. I dug up these pictures sometime last week and have been toying with sharing this before or not. I finally decided I will. It's no secret that I was bigger at one point. My before picture was taken very shortly after the birth of my son.

I was embarrassed of this picture.  Ashamed at how I allowed myself to get that big but after really reflecting on it, I changed my mind. I'm no longer ashamed of that girl. That girl, in that body decided to make a change, she had the guts, the desire, the courage to start and the persistence to keep going. I'm proud of her.

So here it is:

Jen September 2007

Jen in the middle November 2010

XO

Jen

Role Models...

Wow. This was so nice and touching I can't believe it.

Jason Bahamundi

Recently, I became blogging buddies with Jason Bahamundi. Jason is a marathon coach based in Dallas (he's formerly from NY) and he'll take you from couch potato to marathon runner in 40 weeks. If you're considering joining me in San Diego or simply need help beginning your own journey, you can check out his programs here at Marathon Makeover. There are both online and in person training programs available based on where you live.

Jason is no joke, he's a true athlete - a triathlete, marathon runner, motivator, trainer and ironman competitor, so you could imagine my sincere surprise when I heard that Jason decided to write an article about role models and include me in there.

He spoke about my journey as well as the journey of his training coach, Claudia, a woman who just competed at the 70.3 Ironman Championship in Florida.  Claudia raced that Ironman with a BROKEN HAND and INJURED QUAD! 

In under five hours she swam for 1.2 miles, biked for 56 miles and finished the 13 mile 1/2 marathon run. Claudia is a ROCK STAR.  

In any case, I am humbled and flattered to be placed in the same article as Claudia - it makes me feel incredibly lucky and blessed that a true athlete like Jason who can teach me about 100,000 things about running, being an athlete, and crossing finish lines would put me in an article like that. 

If you want to read it, here it is:  Are You A Role Model?

Who are your role models?

My role models are all of you guys - the running community and group of friend's who have uplifted me, supported me, encouraged me, passed along tips, kicked me in the ass, ran along side, educated me and everything else. I really couldn't be a luckier girl. I would've never started running if it wasn't for me being totally impressed by Angela's run last February and Nicole's encouragement of aiming for my first 5K.

By the way, I take nothing for granted here. I will always struggle with my inner fat girl and dare not become cocky. I will always be in the fight and while I feel fairly confident that I'll never go back - I've taken the time to really develop life long habits, I know how easy it is to slip back... A cheeseburger here, a drunken night there, a blown off work out... I'm a hop, skip and a milkshake away from 81.8 pounds - I know this - but the power and option is mine to be a mile, marathon and finish line ahead of it at all times and that's what I intend to do.

XO

Jen

5K Race day -hooray!

Me and Nik getting ready to run our best times!

Doing the happy dance, I ran a 5K today... My oh my, how far we've come.

My first 5K in March, I ran in 40:57...

My second 5K in May, I ran in about 36:00...

Today I ran a PR (that's running speak for personal record ;) and did it in 32:00 flat!  I'm so excited! It works out to a 10:19 mile and is nearly nine minutes faster since the first time.

I'm not going to lie, I pushed myself, I came out of the box running as fast I could, I no longer have the goal to merely finish, I want to run the best I can. With the finish line in sight and an eye that I could do it in 32, I picked up the pace and ran like I was being chased by the boogie man, I ran and ran hard to that finish line - my heart was pounding I was breathing way too hard but i don't care - I was soooo happy to have that time that it was worth the potential to pass out. (which I didn't) I walked it off, grabbed a bottle of water and regained composure.

What's remarkable to me is how much my body is getting better about running.  I have virtually no hip pain anymore (knock on wood)... I remember having to ice down knees, hips, and ankles after my first 5K, none of that is necessary now. I didn't even feel sore after my 8 miles the other day. I'm not saying that to brag but because it's amazing on how far you can go if you really keep at it.

Today my goal was to do it in 33mins... I would've been happy with an 11min mile. It was cool running a race and not being passed by, by everyone and actually doing some of the "passing" by myself!

Yay, Jeff! WAY TO GO with your bad self!

Also very cool - I ran with friends Nicole and Jeff - Jeff placed 2nd place in his age division - HOW COOL!

And Nicole also set a PR (29 mins/30 secs?) Nik, if I'm wrong, let me know... She came in fourth in her division!!  So great :)

XO

Jen

81.8 pounds- my three year marathon

I am down 81.8 pounds.

I know this is shocking but I'm having trouble finding the words to express what this means to me. I have put in the work, changed the way I eat and run regularly now.

I am no longer that chain smokin, tequila swillin', depressed, "I can't do anything" type person. That girl is long gone.

Oh, I'm no saint - I still sometimes eat too much or have one too many glasses of wine or shots of tequila... I don't always run as far or as fast as I probably can but that's OK.  I've been learning how not to beat myself up.

I am not as afraid to fail anymore. I'm more afraid of not trying. (Though I try to make failing not an option as a rule.)

This weight loss journey can truly be compared to a marathon. A long one. It hasn't been easy, there's been many a mile that it seemed I'd never see a finish line. Many a time where the road was long and hard. Many a time I actually had to walk and catch my breath, heal a wound, reassess my approach.

But, I never wanted to quit. At this point with the finish line in sight, I finally have a true understanding of what it means to "enjoy the journey." Every mile has brought a sense of accomplishment and a new lesson learned, every mile I've found both struggle and joy - and I've been lucky to have many people supporting me to get here along the way.

As I ran my "long run" eight miles yesterday, I kept myself motivated by thanking the universe for everything. My feet, my heart, my lungs my legs, my iPod :) All the things that kept that running route attainable yesterday. I kept mentally high-fiving myself, mile by mile, emotional over seeing how far I've come - far enough to be able to run for 8 miles, comfortably, relatively pain free and gratefully.  Every day that I'm lucky enough to run is a good day indeed.

And every mile means something.

Today I thank the universe for the gift of this journey - I thank the universe for even giving me those damn 81.8 pounds because without them, I would've never discovered how strong I am, strong enough to be able to move every one of those pounds out of my way.

XO
Jen

Running wish list

Well, whomever said running was a cheap sport, clearly never really trained for a marathon. I mean, yes, technically you can run with just your feet but in order to run safely, comfortably and correctly, running takes investment.

Even the race fees themselves quickly adds up. My hubby likes to say, "why pay someone to let you run 13 miles or even 26 - just map out the miles and run it." Clearly, he's not a runner and doesn't understand the thrill of race day :)

Some stuff is luxury I suppose and some stuff I'm still doing without rather than take the financial plunge (money is too tight.) But these are the things on my wish list, now that I'm training for a full I want this stuff at some point - if you know of any good deals on any of it out there, let me know.

WISH LIST:

Hydration belt - jeeeze, went to Road Runner today and the cheapest ones were $40! For now, I just picked up a little water bottle and will stick it in my pocket for long run day - but a belt will be nice someday. Found one on ebay that I'm bidding on - maybe I'll win it!

Gels / Gu - will eventually start buying these race day/long run necessities in bulk vs. the one or two at a time I do right now - which also requires a special trip to Road Runner.

Compression socks - keep hearing great things about these but the ones I've seen run around $60! My wedding shoes didn't cost that much! They are socks. I'm dying to try them because my calves tend to hurt during long runs but $60! That's an entire week of groceries for my household...

New Sports Bras - I've only found one I really like and I have to wash it a million times a week. It's a NIKE one and another $40 investment that I can't afford to make right now.

New running pants - I have one pair of running pants I like. The rest are too big (yay!) but I need one more pair - I just can't drop at least another $25 on sweats at this time - (I mean the really fancy running pants from Nike, etc go for up to $70 - I'd have to win the lottery.)

Winter gear - Going to have to bite the bullet and buy a winter running hat, gloves, and whatever else I might need fairly soon.

Nike + Sports kit - after all the damn drama of getting my wrist band, I now want to upgrade to the one for the iPod. I think I can get my hands on the right iPod, but I still have to drop $30 for the sports kit and make my wrist band (that I paid $57 for) pretty useless... ugh. Not to mention, I'll have to get one of those armband things for my iPod and that'll be another couple of bucks.

Sports Sunglasses - I know my Jackie-O type glasses are bulky and annoying to run in. I need to just get a light, sleek pair of shades to keep my eyes protected.

Road Runner ID bracelet - I used to run around without my ID - just grabbed my iPod and went. This is a bad idea. While no one wants the unthinkable to happen, you should be prepared in case of emergency. Right now I'll run with my drivers license but I really would like to get one of these things one of these days, especially now that I'm going to be having some really long runs.

iTunes gift card - definitely asking for this for Christmas - can never have enough music!

I think this about rounds up my wish list for now - though I'm probably missing a few things.

What's on your running wish list? What should I add to mine?

XO
Jen

WEIGHT WATCHER finish line is in sight...

I weighed in today and was pleased to see another 1.6 loss. I've been going along and going along and the running has become so much the focus, that I rarely even mention my weight loss goals here anymore. This month will mark my three years of attending weight watcher meetings faithfully. In all of three years, I've maybe have missed 5 meetings - and those missed meetings have happened because I've been physically out of the state. Otherwise, no matter what, no matter how bad a week I might've had - I'm there.

This has been a good weight watcher week, if you read my facebook status' then you already know my grocery store story - but I'm going to tell it again because it was significant for me.

This past week I was shopping and a woman approached to ask if I had experience with a particular product - she was doing weight watchers.  I said, "no but what a coincidence, I'm doing weight watchers too." She made a face and said, "why would you be on weight watchers - you're so skinny!" I explained that I was down 75 pounds and she didn't believe me... blah, blah blah.  PS: For the record, as of today I am down 77 pounds, thank you very much! ;)

But no one has ever called me skinny before - so, that was exciting. But even more significant is, when I was 236 pounds there was no finish line in sight - no way could I imagine being called skinny or even "just  chubby" - no way could I imagine being only pounds away from my goal weight. And now, here was this outside person shining a light on just how far I've come - the progress I've fought for.

It's kind of the same as when I started on this running thing. When I was out of breath after "running" for 1 minute at 3.8 speed - there was no way I thought I'd ever cross a finish line and do a half marathon... but alas, if you hang in there, if you keep getting up and trying, if you persevere and persist you can get there.

A fellow running blogger, has this John Bingham quote in her header: "First or last, it's the same finish line." It's true.  It's taken me a long Weight Watcher journey to get this close to the finish line and even if it takes another 3 years to get there -- it's still going to be the same finish line and it still is going to be a sweet victory.

XO
Jen

I am a runner. For real

I'm still flying high from my running today.  Three miles - 33:47 -- 5.39 pace and 11:19 mile. This makes me remarkably proud. Because up until now -- I never thought I'd be able to sustain that pace for more than a half a mile / maybe a mile.

It was not easy, I had to keep pushing myself past my comfort level. I had to not slow down when I wanted to, I had to keep finding my inner winner and have faith that my body would keep going. I had to keep believing in myself and make the cheerleaders in my head louder than the bitches.

So much of this is mental. So much of what we can or cannot do is about the stories we tell ourselves. I've been telling myself the, "I'm not very fast" story for a long time. As a result, up until now I've usually run around 4.5 - 5.0 on these runs... (and that's 5.0 on a good day.)

But I've proven I can go faster, it's just out of my comfort zone. I've learned that, outside of my comfort zone is where I grow - where I get better - where I take it to the next level.  And I guess that's my life lesson of the day. Progress doesn't happen when we are comfortable. Progress happens when we have the courage to face the uncomfortable and (sometimes literally) run through it, embracing the anxiety we might feel and keep going anyway.

Hey if it was easy, everyone would do it.

Anyway, I also had a defining moment in the middle of all this - perhaps it was the endorphins but I had a realization. I am a runner. A real runner. I think up until now, a small part of me thought this was "dress up." Or a novelty or the fat girl trying to get thin... but my running is none of that anymore, as I made sure my form was proper, was wiping away sweat, checking my pace - I looked into an imaginary mirror and realized that I'm a runner - no one in the gym or on a street would see me and think, "look how cute, this chubby girl is trying to run..." No. They would simply see a runner.  Perhaps, others have seen me like that for a while but today I realize that finally I do too.

XO
Jen

The honeymoon is over, can this running relationship be saved?

Forgive me friends for I have sinned, its been about almost a month since my last post and I've seriously neglected this poor little blog. Which isn't right. This blog helped me run a marathon for the love of God! It helped me shed nearly 20 pounds and it helped me find a little confidence along the way.

So what happened?

It lost that loving feeling... whoa that loving feeling. 

Actually I lost that loving feeling. 

When I first started running, it was like a new shiny relationship. Interesting, unexpected, no grasp on where things might lead. Every new day was met with a little rush of excitement... Friends cheered me on, there was always new gadgets to learn about, a new tip to take in, a further milestone to reach!

Then we got into a good groove. I loved running and running loved me.

Eventually, we (me and running) got married. Partners for life - I will run forever! I do!

The running "marriage" was great at first. I knew what to expect, I knew how hard I could train before "feeling it," I knew what songs got me going, but the "kiss" began to be not quite as exciting and slowly, I've started to take the "relationship" for granted.  

I'll often think to myself, "Eh, I'm not going to go as far, try as hard today. Two miles is good enough for exercise. I've already got a ring on it. I already ran a 1/2 marathon - I have nothing to prove anymore. Tomorrow I'll throw on the lipstick and heels. Today, I'll just coast."

Bad. Bad. Bad.

The honeymoon might be over but as any of us who's ever been in a long term relationship (with an actual person) knows, this is the part where the work really counts. You can only get by with complacency for so long before things start to melt away without even realizing it's happening. I need to keep challenging myself, finding ways to keep the relationship fresh and keep on going or before long my sneakers will be sleeping on the couch and I'll become a lump and wonder where it all went wrong. Or something like that.

It boils down to passion. Passion for running, for life, for love... without passion, we are merely existing and not living. Sometimes passion doesn't fall into our lap, it's up to us to make it, fake it or take it anyway we can. 

You may lose the "thrill" of the first kiss but there's something to be said about the warmth that comes from the confidence, security, dedication and commitment from being in a supportive, solid relationship. Running has given me a foundation, its up to me to maintain it.

I gotta bring sexy back. So, I'm putting on some lipstick and lacing up the "heels" (or sneakers) and I'm working on saving this relationship!

XO

Jen

What do you do to re-energize your exercise programs?

Three lessons I've learned: down 4.4 this week and back on track!

Last Saturday my weigh in wasn't my greatest achievement: I was up 3.4 pounds and told you all about it.

This week, I'm down 4.4 which means I lost the gain and a pound as good measure.

This is great motivation.  I am soooo happy! Yippee.

The weight watcher / running gods have conspired to help me get my groove back, which just a few days ago, I wasn't so sure of.

Thank you, thank you universe.  I did run on Thursday which I failed to blog about for some reason and I did a lot of general running around while keeping an eye on food.  But because I was still feeling down about backtracking, I wasn't noticing or appreciating all the things I was doing right this week.  Turns out, I must've done a lot right.

Which brings me to a few valuable lessons:

1.  Never be so focused on the bad that you miss the good.
We all do this.  We beat ourselves up for "only running" x amount of miles, or the pace was only --- whatever.  Maybe you ate too much cake or blew it at dinner.  How about celebrating what you did right.  Lacing up your sneakers when you much rather had watched a marathon of The Hills, or you may've eaten too much at dinner but the rest of your day was healthy and controlled.  I did it all week and instead of feeling good about it all, I lamented about, "where was my groove," when it was there all along.

2.  Someone else is watching
Last week, after my 3.4 gain weigh-in, A woman who hadn't been at our meeting in almost 2 years came up to me.  She hadn't seen me in more than fifty pounds.  She had tears in her eyes, apparently we had joined around the same time, a few weeks in, she gave up.  She said she remembered me because I had said in a meeting early on, "no matter what, I'm coming every week."  She was doubtful that I would still be here and when she saw me, she said that I was so inspiring to her, because I did it.  Even though, I was feeling low from the gain.  She didn't see that.  She didn't see my internal struggle with feeling like a failure.  She saw me as an inspiration.  Your failing is someone else's inspiration - even if you never know it.

3.  Slip ups and Set backs are simply times to reflect and learn something - Not a time to quit
I know this isn't radically new and I've said it before but it's worth reiterating.  A "never give up" attitude is a must.  Set-backs, hills, bumps in the road, getting lost -- all a part of the journey.  Whether you lose your way for just a meal or even a month, there's always a way to get moving forward again.  Our set backs need to be viewed as great opportunities that we learn and grow from, that will eventually propel us to greater heights instead of a reason to quit.

XO
Jen

Got nothing... running on empty and empty on running

Oh man - it's been a tough few weeks.  Just wanted to update you since I haven't blogged in a few days.

That $%^&@!! toe nail injury really set me back.  It took me a while to get back and just when I thought I was ready to really run again, that foot is weirdly achey all over. The arch, ankle and heel feels strained and my hip is bothering me.  I must've been walking/running on it wrong to compensate for the dumb toenail or something.  All I know is it hurts to walk and I'm afraid to run because I don't want to really damage anything.

UGH!

I'm trying to remain motivated and all this non-running is such bad news for my momentum.

I go see a new foot doc on Thursday, hopefully he'll have some news.

So that's it.  I'm empty.  I'm hoping to get a fill on running again soon.  How are you people all doing??

XO
Jen

I gained 3.4 pounds and it's all good

So, as predicted, my weight watcher weigh-in was a slight horror.  Up 3.4 pounds since my last visit.

But I'm OK with it.  Besides my Latino food festivities of yesterday, what else could I expect?  In the last 3 weeks, I've:

started a new writing job

moved to a new home and town

traveled to Los Angeles

lost a freakin' toe nail

lost time training thanks to said toe nail

continued to work full time at launching a media business

worked all last weekend at a freelance job 

continued to deal with a deadline over my head for an important writing project

and (deep breath)

not to mention the day to day of raising a toddler, taking care of my home, etc...

I have to tell you, I'm cutting myself a fricken break.  Why would I beat myself up and not celebrate that I've ONLY gained 3.4 pounds!  If I was chatting with a friend (instead of myself)  I would tell her, she was doing well.  So, I'm celebrating that, I've fallen but I am getting back up again.  I'm celebrating that if I've learned anything over these last 3 years of Weight Watchin' that some weeks there'll be good weigh ins and some weeks there'll be bad ones, because that's life.  I am reminding myself that once in a while we'll fall but it's not the end of the journey.  In fact it's a big part of it.

It's in our greatest "mistakes" we learn the most about ourselves.  About perseverance, about what we are made of.  This is where we grow... (even though I wish I wasn't growing so literally!) 

I sometimes think we get it wrong in the WW meetings.  They give stars and applause to the people who've lost weight, who's in the throes of smooth sailing.  That's all find and good.  It is well deserved.  But I think we should celebrate the times that we aren't sailing so smoothly.  We're down a first mate, the waters are rough, we're being battered and bruised, yet -- still make it through?  

I've decided to wear my 3.4 gain like a badge of honor - just until I can take those pounds off and get my next shiny star.

  

XO

Jen

PS:  I'm giving up the countdown in the entry title- it's too annoying and it's too far away to be interesting, I think.

day 35 - 110 days to go - steps of progress

This stairway is significant.

70 pounds ago, when I was still working full time in the city, these stairs ran alongside the escalator at the train station.  I always took the escalator.

One day, the first week of my weight loss journey, I thought I would take the stairs to burn a few calories.  They were so hard to do that I had to rest half way up for a second!  I was huffing and puffing and sweating my way up.  I thought my heart would beat out of my chest and I could die right there.

Today, I decided to run up the stairs because the escalator was pretty crowded.

I ran up those steps like they were nothing.  Not only didn't I rest but there was no sweating, there was no huffing and puffing.  I could've carried on a full conversation!  I didn't feel taxed in any way.  I felt like I could've ran another 100 steps.  It just felt normal.  No problem.  Like a stroll in the park.

It was like magic.

Or scratch that.  Not magic.  HARD WORK.  

The progress has been so slow that sometimes it's hard to realize how different I really am, or how far I've truly come.  The scale moves slowly and occasionally I'll move down a size.  Yes, I even ran/walked a half marathon... but, wow, to remember how it felt the first time I ran up these steps to now.... it's incredible.

It just goes to show, if you keep in the fight, you can tackle anything.  One step at a time.

XO

Jen