At the expo |
I am excited and joyous.
Earlier this week I was nervous, freaking out and scared to death. I was seriously second guessing myself and doubt in my ability was everywhere. Every negative thing that ever happened to me during a race including this incident at the Hollywood Half and this not-so-fun time during my first marathon at the San Diego Rock N Roll flooded my brain. I was becoming a complete wreck.
This week almost was one filled with dread and fear but I got my mind on right.
With a little help.
A friend Noah sent me well wishes for the race. I expressed my panic and he simply said "don't ruin this week with worry or you're gonna miss this great moment in your life." He was 100% right. All these years of dreaming. How could I let fear steal this joy from me?
So I did something a little unconventional. I decided to see a hypnotherapist. The idea kind of came to me because I knew I needed a mental adjustment and it was an emergency, I'm not sure why I never thought of it before! I know the power of thoughts and my thoughts were threatening to make my dream race a nightmare. I've tried to get into this race for FOUR YEARS. It's my bucket list race and now I was dreading it.
This is just too big of a deal for me to let that happen.
Years ago, hypnotherapy helped me with quitting smoking - and somehow it popped into my head, "I wonder if it could help me with my running?"
So I did a google search and I found a certified Hypnosis Practitioner, Mary Battaglia. I read how she had helped a woman conquer her fears on a mountain bike. It rang very relevant to me. Maybe Mary could help me!
So I contacted her on Monday and by Tuesday morning I was in her office.
She helped me undo some of the mental trauma I kept playing out from the other two races and then we created a mental script for me to listen to all week. We also created affirmations for me to say several times a day. She hypnotized me and she helped to plant all these positive thoughts and feelings about the race in my head.
It worked! It's like a miracle!! What a gift this woman gave me. I have not felt a moment of worry, fear or dread since. I've been nothing but excited, embracing and ready. And you have no idea how huge that is for me. HUGE.
Joyfully holding my bib! See you at the finish line! :) |
If you're the type of person who worries, doubts yourself or has debilitating race day anxiety and fear - this might be something for you to consider.
I don't know what is going to happen on Marathon Sunday but I'm ready for it. I'm excited, joyous, and ready for whatever comes my way.
I'm no more trained than I was a week ago but my mental outlook has done a complete 180. Worrying, self-doubt, beating yourself up and playing the "what if a bad thing happens" mind game has never helped anyone. Hypnosis or not, fear and dread is nothing but a thief to your happiness. Trust me.
I can't control what happens at this point just my reactions and attitude.
Bring on NYC. I love you New York Marathon, I love that I get to be a part of it. Dreams do come true.
The next post I make will be one as a marathoner.
XO
Jen