I'm Back! My Personal From Fat to Finish Line Goals for 2018

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Is this thing on?

Are any of you still out there?

It's been a looooong time since my last post. More than a year as a matter of fact.

Even though it's been forever and a day I'm back.

From Fat to Finish Line on Netflix! 

I need to be back. You see, in spite of the success From Fat to Finish Line has enjoyed as a documentary film and From Fat to Finish Line as an online movement and tribe - I've been personally struggling hard. I've dealt with weight gain, lack of motivation and some depression. Looking back at what worked for me in reaching my goals all those years ago, I have come to realize that this blog was pivotal in my journey.

Writing this blog provided me:
1. Accountability and
2. A journal of sorts.
I need both so here I am.

First things first, A few highlights/ not so highlights from the last year or so:

Some of us FFTFL'ers in Dublin at 5K

1. From Fat to Finish Line the documentary is doing well and you can watch it on Netflix, iTunes, Amazon and other streaming services.
2. Thanks in part to the film, From Fat to Finish Line has grown into a big, supportive FB community and company. We have resources for new and overweight runners.  You can join the FB community HERE, Learn how to run your first mile HERE, and check out our website HERE.
3. I ran two Ragnars last year (Del Sol and Poconos) which really made me fall in love with Ragnar. 
4. I celebrated my 45th birthday in Dublin, Ireland with the FFTFL tribe.
5. From Fat to Finish Line had an amazing meet-up in Las Vegas again.
6. I am up 25 pounds from my goal weight.
7. I have dealt with depression.
8. I have been struggling to run and get my workouts in.
9. I moved to a new apartment.

Van 1 Ragnar Del Sol: Team Running Down a Dream 

So here's my goals for 2018 in no particular order: 

HEALTH: I need to get back to basics and cut the shit. I've not been doing the right thing. I intend to make my health a priority by:  Losing the 25 pounds I gained and get back to goal. I will accomplish this by running at least 3x's a week, weight training at least twice a week, choosing healthy foods and tracking by sticking to Weight Watchers. 

I will commit to and make drinking my water a priority. I will cut down or cut out alcohol. I will take my vitamins, and avoid gluten.  I will continue to see my therapist and find ways to cope with stuff that doesn't involve food or alcohol such as meditation. 

HOME: I will disconnect from electronics when connecting with friends and family. I will make human interaction a priority and spend less time, nose down in my computer and wasting time on social media like FB. I will also honor my home itself by keeping the clutter down and keeping my home clean and organized. When it's a mess it drives me crazy and doesn't help anything! 

CAREER: I will continue to build the From Fat to Finish Line brand. This is my life and passion. I am committed to chugging forth in giving my best when it comes to the company. I want to reach my finish line goals and I want others to as well. I will finish my life coaching course which has me studying how to support others in mental/emotional/physical and spiritual health. This not only helps me to be able to support the FFTFL tribe but it is teaching me how to cope with my own stuff too! 

RUN: Although mentioned in my "Health" section above - Running deserves its own place. First of all, I have a lot of running coming up in 2018.

• I got accepted into the Chicago Marathon for 2018.
• I am running FOUR FFTFL Relays in 2018: The Buck Fifty in OH, Ragnar TN, Ragnar Chicago and Ragnar Northwest Passage. 
• I'd like to run NJ half marathon at the shore and Rock 'n' Roll Vegas half.

Second of all. Running makes everything better for me. Mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I MUST make it a priority. I was able to keep my depression more or less in check for years just by consistenly running. This last year my running game was off and the depression came back in full force, the weight crept further up, I lost my overall mojo. I'm trying to manage, went on a mild anti-depressant and am working things out in therapy but I need my runs. 

Turning 45 in Dublin

So while the last year or so has been a little challenging - it's all a part of life. All a part of the journey. I'm taking the positives and learning from the negatives. I'm ready to take on 2018 and make it my bitch the best year ever! 

What are some of your goals for 2018?

Reviewing 2013 goals and looking ahead to the New Year

Happy New Year! 

Fat to finish line on The Today Show! I'm in the hat bottom rt

In January 2013 I ran Ragnar Miami with team Fat To Finish Line and we were even featured on The Today Show! But even with how awesome that experience was (It was one of the best events of my life), I seriously cramped and couldn't complete the 10 mile run during my second leg and that bummed me out. That first experience of 2013 kind of summed up the year - one of extreme highs and lows. 

I also participated in my first of two triathlons, (getting back in the water and on a bike) and managed to keep moving forward. I had some tough days - I've struggled with weight and running as far/fast as I might want.  Here's the overall gist on the year: 

These were the set of goals I wanted to focus on last year - here is how I did:
1. Run more miles this year. In 2012 I ran 721 miles - my goal for 2013 is to run 722. - Ugh. Somehow I only ran 520 this year. I chalk that up to running a few less half marathons this past year and also training for my first triathlons - instead of always running many workouts became swimming or biking focused. Still - this is pretty weak - I'm aiming for 722 in 2014 again! 

2. Run faster?  No way - not even close. But to be fair I didn't focus on speed and didn't make it a priority. 

3. Cross train seriously. I will be taking yoga, boot camp and incorporating more strength training into my regime. I consider this somewhat successful. I did make a better attempt at boot camp, yoga and stretching - I will continue to focus on this and this is a big goal of mine in the new year. 

4. Maintain my goal weight. Total fail - I struggled with weight this year and am over goal as of right now. It's been making me feel really low and yucky about myself but I'm working on shaking off the feelings of failure and getting my groove back - this topic is it's own blog. 

5. DRINK MORE WATER! Seriously. I have such a hard time with this but in 2013, hydration will be my bitch. Up and down - had some really great "water" streaks and had some times where I was woefully under-hydrated. Hydration is huge for me -- must continue to work on it. 

6. Keep this blog going. Yup. 

7. Eat even cleaner. Nope. Probably ate dirtier but will be cleaning up my act for 2014 

8. Track my food at least one week a month (will help me with #4 and #7 and keep me on my game) - this would've been a great idea if I remembered even making this a goal!  So, no this didn't happen. 

9. Run 4 half marathons and at least 2 5k races - to keep training for stuff. - I didn't run four half marathons I ran two halfs, 1 10 miler, 2 sprint triathlons and a few 5Ks - I'm OK with my race schedule. 

10. Run another full marathon? Maybe. Once again I will throw my hat in the ring for NYC marathon. If I get in, I will train. I have no other plans to run a full right now - with a new TV show in the works and the film -- I don't want to fully commit yet… (I know that's lame.) Nope. But I'm re-entered in the NYC marathon lottery so maybe that will happen this year. 

11. And I know this is lame too. I still really want to try a tri. I am still struggling to figure out a bike and pool solution. The gyms with pools are literally 3 and 4 times more expensive than my gym and way out of my budget. Now if some of these projects we are working on generate some money, maybe I can afford to take that plunge - sometime. We'll see. Still putting it out there in the universe just in case I can make something happen. I did this!! Finally something I can proudly check off! I did this twice - I sucked up the expense, joined the better gym and trained. I'm going for it again in 2014 and am already signed up for REV3 OLY Poconos! 

Looking ahead to 2014 here are my top goals:

1. Get back to my goal weight and clean up the bad eating habits I fell into over the course of 2013 - I plan on achieving both by doing the Whole30 program as outlined in "It Starts With Food" 

2. Run / Swim / bike more miles and take training more seriously - I'd like to run at least 2 halfs and do at least 2 triathlons. 

3. Continue to cross train / boot camp / strengthen up

4. Continue to blog

5. Continue to focus on water

6. Be more kind to myself. The last few months I've struggled with weight, food, running and training for various reasons. I am realizing that because of this it's easy for me to slip into feelings of shame, depression, beating myself up, feeling failure, etc. It's not even consciously most of the time. I have to believe I'm not a good or bad person because I've had a perfect food or workout day. And these feelings don't really lead to anything productive. 

Even though it was a far from perfect year I am grateful for it all. It was still an overall successful year. My son is improving, our finances are taking a turn for the better, my company sold and aired it first television show (that has a series pick-up!), I made a goal to TRI and did it. So even though there were some tough times I still can consider 2013 a great year!   

How was your year? What are some of your goals for 2014?

XO
Jen

PS: Beginning on Jan 2 I am going to attempt to blog for 30 days in a row as I document my journey doing the Whole30 program. I talk about the program in my last post found here.

2012 is the year I will...

The other day I reviewed my 2011, now - on the eve of the eve of the new year, I figure that now would be a good time to think about what I'd like to accomplish in the year ahead.

So here we go.

2012 is the year I will…

1.  Run 1012 miles. I was going to shoot for 1000 but figured I'd throw in the extra 12 for good measure. This year I think I'll come in just shy of 850 - so it's not an impossible goal to shoot for but still challenging.

2.  Run a sub 2:20 half marathon.  Last year I ran a 2:24 - so shaving another 4 minutes off - will be challenging but not impossible.

3.  Run another marathon.  I will aim for around 5 hours but am flexible when it comes to time. I am still in the 'just finish' zone of such a goal.

4.  Continue this blog.

5.  Run a sub 28:30 5K.  My last 5K I ran in 28:48 so if I focus and work hard, I should be able to achieve it.

6.  Continue to maintain my weight loss.

7.  Remember to be thankful.  For family, friends, running, love, this blog, I am incredibly blessed.

8.  Remember to ENJOY it.  At the end of the day - goals for speed, miles and marathons are great but the most important part is to embrace it. This isn't a chore, this is a privilege. If it becomes a chore then it's time to reassess - don't let anything steal the joy away. (But don't be too quick to give up either!)

And that's my big running list of to do's will do's.  

Personally, I also want to also keep a cleaner house, get organized, take more chances (when it comes to career stuff) knock on more doors, live life more boldly and confidently and make things happen.

What are some of your 2012 goals?

XO

Jen

My marathon journey: A rocky course to get to the starting line

This full marathon journey training has been challenging on every single level for me. It's been surprisingly a thousand times harder than the training for my first half marathon. Sure, the miles are more, the training more intense but it's not so much that.

The first time around, I had so much support, people sincerely "rooting" me on -- that feeling of love really carried me through the times that I questioned the journey. But, this is where I must put on my big girl pants and muddle through. This is no one else's journey but mine.  Those who do support me, however, have risen to the occasion and have really kept me going.

There have been the other obstacles too. I've been hit with injuries, confronted with time issues, buried in a winter of snow, even struggled with finding the right sneakers for my 'over-pronating' wide feet that couldn't seem to settle into the right fit. I've battled my own insecurities, hours of tedious treadmill long runs, travel, stress, depression and whatever else we all have to deal with on a daily basis.

This course has not been fast and flat - it's been uphill and a bitch the whole way.

I'm feeling woefully under-trained - last year I didn't miss one yard of the training prescribed for me, this time around, short runs have been altered, long runs aborted and things have been willy nilly.

my running buddy - literally on the path during my last long run

Last week I did a long run of 14.5 miles. It wasn't easy but it was a great long run and I silently thanked the running Gods for that much needed gift.  This past week I was to run 16 -- I went out there fully prepared and with the mind-set to do it -- until hail/rain/gusty wind put an end to it - I wound up with about 12. My schedule has been tweaked once again from Coach Leslie - I have not given up.

I just need to get to that finish line. But I need to push myself to the starting line first.

There have been more times than I would care to admit that thoughts of quitting has bubbled up.  Every day - I consider raising the white flag. I could drop to the RNR half and easily complete that - receive my medal and 'rock out' in San Diego. But that medal wouldn't erase the letters that would be branded on my brain - 'DNF'.

So with all of this - why am I doing this?

I ask myself this question a lot - especially during the second half of a long run...

Some days I struggle to answer it but at its very core the answer is simple - I made it a goal. I decided to tell myself and the world that this is something I want to accomplish - this is something I can accomplish. Giving up now would do nothing for me. Will I be trained enough? Will I be able to do 26.2? I'm not even sure anymore but I would rather try and fail than never try at all. If I 'fall' at mile 16 or 18 or 22 - I'll be disappointed - probably devastated but quitting before I even get to the starting line? It's just not an option.

It's not about being perfect - it's about persevering. I've read from other runners that it's often not their "PR" races that is their proudest accomplishment - it's the race where everything went wrong, the weather bad, the wrong sneakers packed, the forgotten gels or illness… where they faced a really tough battle and got to that finish line anyway.

It would be easy to quit and probably even met with some support and relief from some folks in my life - but I will not quit. I will not give up. I've always given up when things got tough or uncomfortable. If I'm ever going to really change my life then I have to be willing to suffer through being out of my comfort zone. Life throws us curves - it's not the time to curl up into the fetal position and cry (as much as I'd like to some days!) It's the time to work harder and dig deep and believe.

"There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living" -Nelson Mandela

XOXO
Jen

PS: Congrats Jason on your amazing Half Iron-Man finish!! So proud and excited for you - check out his race report here.

GOAL! What I found as I lost 89 pounds and other stuff

I made my Weight Watcher goal today.  

Holy cow! I made my goal! Cue confetti and balloons!

I have been trying to lose weight for the better part of the last eleven years. 3 years, 3 months ago I made a commitment to myself not to give up until I got there. I did pretty good the first year - I lost close to 50 pounds - the second year, I kind of floundered around and "only" lost 7... (though I earned everyone of those 7 so I hate to say say only...) and then last February I found running and since running I guess I'm down another 32 tough pounds - the running literally helped me to cross this weight loss finish line.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. This thing was no sprint. It was a marathon. And though I've crossed my "finish line" in this marathon - it's no time to hang up the sneakers. In fact, it's just time to buy a new pair because I've got way more races to run.

If I want to continue on a healthy path, this is just the beginning. This is a lifelong journey towards good health and wellbeing. 

In three years I've learned that perfectionism doesn't exist, that perseverance pays off and set backs are a part of life (as are the occasional martini and french fry.) There were weeks where my weight didn't budge, "perfect" weeks on paper where the scale went up and bumps in the road. The big key is flexibility, getting back up every time you fall and instead of beating yourself up over the stumbles, learning from them, embracing them - for without them - you cannot progress. When babies first start to walk, every attempt is applauded, every time they fall down, they learn something and eventually they walk.

I lost 89 pounds and found so much - confidence, joy, belief in myself, being comfortable in my skin... Ironically, most of these found things didin't come because I look better in my jeans. Ugh. As cliche as it is (and I guess it's cliche for a reason) it truly is in the journey. It was all those bumps in the roads - facing down the setbacks, sucking up the disappointments... not dropping out of the "race" at mile 3 because I was tired and how would I ever get thru another 23...

I got a little choked up at my meeting today - but I guess that's how it goes, I always get emotional when I cross finish lines... 

So that's my story of the day. I'm feeling pretty darn good about it too. I'm not even beating myself up for last night's "long run" that was supposed to be 10 miles... I did 6 but it was on a treadmill on a Friday night after a snowstorm and I'm giving myself bonus points for all of that. Bump in the road, flexibility and all that jazz...

XO

Jen

PS: Julie - next post I will do the thing you tagged me in - thanks for that!! 

PSS: Yippe! Almost at 50 followers - thanks to all of you who've stuck with me or are now joining me on the journey. 

Resolutions and Goals for 2011 + Pay it forward training log giveaway

I know, I know - I'm fashionably late with my list of goals and resolutions for the New Year. What can I say? I've been busy raising a toddler, training for a marathon and building an empire so I'm getting to this blog now.

So goal number one: no more procrastination! OOPS

Just kidding...
(well, I really wasn't procrastinating this post. I swear.)

OK back to the goal/resolution thing:

This year I will:

Reach and maintain my goal weight

Stop beating myself up when it comes to running - no more feeling "not good enough," "not worthy enough," "not fast enough..." There will always be someone faster, younger and thinner. Good for them. And there will always be someone slower, older and fatter. Good for me.

I will take more time to enjoy the journey - even the treadmill part

I will find a better balance. I love running, I need the training but I also have to figure a way to do my job properly, be a good wife, an attentive mom and a decent friend - I know that I let some balls drop over the past year because of my extreme focus on running. Passion is good but I have to do a better job at keeping my running addiction in check.

I will learn more about the actual "mechanics" of running. I don't know what Fartlek's are and "splits" aren't so clear either. There's lots of training terms that sound techy and make me want to take a nap but I should learn the runner-speak if this is the sport I'm committing to. Time to take the game up a notch.

I will "pass it forward" more in the new year - I've been blessed with so much support, love and friendship in this running world - I hope to give the same to others.

These are the big ones right now.

In the meantime - I won a cool 2011 training log from Sara's blog, Words to Run By a few weeks ago and the prize was for TWO training logs. So I figured, speaking of "passing it on" I would pass one of the training logs I won forward to one of my bloggy friends.

So if you'd like to be entered, just post below.

Mandatory: You must be a follower

Get one extra entry for each of the following:

Twitter about the giveaway and tell me about it

Facebook about the giveaway and tell me about it

Tell me how you want to pay it forward in 2011 and/or one of your goals for 2011

XO

Jen