I'm Back! My Personal From Fat to Finish Line Goals for 2018

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Is this thing on?

Are any of you still out there?

It's been a looooong time since my last post. More than a year as a matter of fact.

Even though it's been forever and a day I'm back.

From Fat to Finish Line on Netflix! 

I need to be back. You see, in spite of the success From Fat to Finish Line has enjoyed as a documentary film and From Fat to Finish Line as an online movement and tribe - I've been personally struggling hard. I've dealt with weight gain, lack of motivation and some depression. Looking back at what worked for me in reaching my goals all those years ago, I have come to realize that this blog was pivotal in my journey.

Writing this blog provided me:
1. Accountability and
2. A journal of sorts.
I need both so here I am.

First things first, A few highlights/ not so highlights from the last year or so:

Some of us FFTFL'ers in Dublin at 5K

1. From Fat to Finish Line the documentary is doing well and you can watch it on Netflix, iTunes, Amazon and other streaming services.
2. Thanks in part to the film, From Fat to Finish Line has grown into a big, supportive FB community and company. We have resources for new and overweight runners.  You can join the FB community HERE, Learn how to run your first mile HERE, and check out our website HERE.
3. I ran two Ragnars last year (Del Sol and Poconos) which really made me fall in love with Ragnar. 
4. I celebrated my 45th birthday in Dublin, Ireland with the FFTFL tribe.
5. From Fat to Finish Line had an amazing meet-up in Las Vegas again.
6. I am up 25 pounds from my goal weight.
7. I have dealt with depression.
8. I have been struggling to run and get my workouts in.
9. I moved to a new apartment.

Van 1 Ragnar Del Sol: Team Running Down a Dream 

So here's my goals for 2018 in no particular order: 

HEALTH: I need to get back to basics and cut the shit. I've not been doing the right thing. I intend to make my health a priority by:  Losing the 25 pounds I gained and get back to goal. I will accomplish this by running at least 3x's a week, weight training at least twice a week, choosing healthy foods and tracking by sticking to Weight Watchers. 

I will commit to and make drinking my water a priority. I will cut down or cut out alcohol. I will take my vitamins, and avoid gluten.  I will continue to see my therapist and find ways to cope with stuff that doesn't involve food or alcohol such as meditation. 

HOME: I will disconnect from electronics when connecting with friends and family. I will make human interaction a priority and spend less time, nose down in my computer and wasting time on social media like FB. I will also honor my home itself by keeping the clutter down and keeping my home clean and organized. When it's a mess it drives me crazy and doesn't help anything! 

CAREER: I will continue to build the From Fat to Finish Line brand. This is my life and passion. I am committed to chugging forth in giving my best when it comes to the company. I want to reach my finish line goals and I want others to as well. I will finish my life coaching course which has me studying how to support others in mental/emotional/physical and spiritual health. This not only helps me to be able to support the FFTFL tribe but it is teaching me how to cope with my own stuff too! 

RUN: Although mentioned in my "Health" section above - Running deserves its own place. First of all, I have a lot of running coming up in 2018.

• I got accepted into the Chicago Marathon for 2018.
• I am running FOUR FFTFL Relays in 2018: The Buck Fifty in OH, Ragnar TN, Ragnar Chicago and Ragnar Northwest Passage. 
• I'd like to run NJ half marathon at the shore and Rock 'n' Roll Vegas half.

Second of all. Running makes everything better for me. Mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I MUST make it a priority. I was able to keep my depression more or less in check for years just by consistenly running. This last year my running game was off and the depression came back in full force, the weight crept further up, I lost my overall mojo. I'm trying to manage, went on a mild anti-depressant and am working things out in therapy but I need my runs. 

Turning 45 in Dublin

So while the last year or so has been a little challenging - it's all a part of life. All a part of the journey. I'm taking the positives and learning from the negatives. I'm ready to take on 2018 and make it my bitch the best year ever! 

What are some of your goals for 2018?

Turning Crappy into Happy Somehow

I know it's been a long time and I don't really even know where to start.

A whole lot of stuff and a whole lot of nothing has happened since the last time I decided to write.

My son (who I spoke about in this post about autism is doing GREAT on his new gf/df diet and is thriving. More about him in an upcoming post - but I thought I should let you know that he's been doing well and we've been turning corners on that front.)

Ben writing a song and my messy kitchen 

OK - So enough of the chit chat. Back to the running and stuff.  Here's the real deal of how I'm feeling about myself lately:

LIKE SHIT.

No other way to say it.

I feel like a fraudulent, blobby, can't-stop-eating-barely-running, bloggless blogger.

I have excuses (semi-valid ones too) I'm traveling (in fact I'm back in KY shooting our show as I write) and as I travel I feel guilty and miss my family - and I've been busy. I also started a 'holiday' running streak which got cut short because of a really weird pain I've been getting in a tendon around my inner ankle and was fearful of injury so have been running shorter and slower.

But no excuses can really take away the fact that I'm eating way too much crappy foods. When I lost the bulk of my weight I did a great job at sticking to mostly whole foods and cut out all the garbage-y processed cruddy stuff. I felt great eating like that. I never felt deprived.

But slowly but surely over the course of the last few months (year?) I started to add more and more 'convenience' foods back. Only I've been fooling myself because I've been justifying these choices because they aren't the 'obvious' processed foods I once ate. The foods I'm eating now tout organic and gluten-free labels. I buy them at places like Whole Foods and Fairway. They are pricey and not the Lean Cuisines and cheap foods I once ate. BUT the issue is that these convenience foods pack in lots of calories and fat grams and are still not as nutrient dense as just eating whole foods. They might be a quick meal made with organic chicken and organic gluten free noodles but often you're still left feeling hungry or un-satiated so you reach for more.

To make matters worse, all of a sudden I'm snacking on things like "organic coconut-milk ice-cream" or gluten free crackers (where I once snacked on fruit or a handful of nuts.) Both which has too many calories with little nutritional payback.

I also went Dairy free a year or two ago but have let that seep back in.

Annnnnd I am drinking too much. I don't think I yet need to attend meetings but I would be lying if I didn't tell ya that I like to have a glass (or two) of wine a few times every night of the week and on the weekends I make myself my dirty martinis. All those extra empty calories are adding up too. I didn't really drink when I lost my weight - not so consistently anyway. On the weekends here and there but not nightly.

I'm running a little bit here and there 2 or 3 times a week I guess (but they've been shorter runs) and it's just not enough to come close to cover all these calories.

And where does that leave me? Carrying at least 10 extra pounds (I haven't been on a scale in a while), tighter pants and feeling pretty yucky about it all.

Luckily, I have a plan!

My Moms In Motion Running Coach Dana recommended a book she is reading on our MIM FB page called, It Starts With Food. She said it was a healthy eating approach meant to kind of detox and reset your body by eating healthy foods. So I checked it out. At first I thought no fucking way that it would be really challenging because the program is very strict with 0 room for slips or cheats. No alcohol, No gluten, No grains (including 'healthy' grains like brown rice, oatmeal or quinoa), no dairy, no legumes like: beans, corn, lima beans, chick peas or peanuts and absolutely no sugar in any shape or form (including artificial sweeteners, honey, stevia, etc.) Also no artificial stuff at all - no MSG, Carrageenan, etc (that I've been on board for, for a long time), also no white potatoes.

No wine? No hummus, no brown rice or black beans even. Ugh. Poop. No way. What is this un-Godly and ridiculous diet? I mean what's so bad about quinoa and beans???

But the more I read the book the more I felt it was worth really sucking it up for 30 days and doing it. This plan isn't about the weight loss it's about reducing inflammation, healing your gut, balancing your insulin levels, etc. It's about getting your body to optimal health and then slowly reintroducing your body to some of the foods you eliminated for the 30 days. Turns out there are really good reasons to eliminate these foods and see if they are effecting you or not.

What can you eat? Organic eggs, meat, poultry and fish. Sweet potatoes, all the squashes, all the vegetables and fruits that you want, healthy fats like coconut oil, olive oil, ghee and even clarified butter as well as some nuts like cashews, macadamias and hazelnuts…. oh. and thankfully, coffee. (I am not sure if I could've given up wine and coffee so this program does have a little mercy.)

You can read more about the program here at the Whole9.  You're supposed to do it for 30 days.

The testimonials from people in the Whole9/It Starts with Food community are astounding. You can eat when you are hungry there's no calorie counting or anything. There are plenty of guidelines and I'm enjoying the book.

I've decided that I'm going to do this for the entire month of January. I need to reset my body. I need to just kind of break free of all the bad habits I've quietly and gradually slipped into. I don't think that 'moderation' will really help me right now (I'll only drink on Saturdays or I'll just have some gluten free bread once or twice a week…) I feel like I need to go cold turkey on most of these things.  If I tried to just "cut down" on smoking it wouldn't have worked either. I know me. I like all of the foods on the "can" have list so I will just have to celebrate and enjoy what I can eat instead of lament about the can't have stuff. The alcohol is going to be hard. But I have faced hard before. Quitting smoking, dealing with a child with autism, losing 100 pounds -- all pretty hard. It's going to make me healthier and stronger and I'm worth doing something hard for.

So let me know if you're interested in giving something like this a shot too. Maybe we can do it together. I am planning to blog daily (or close to it) about this new journey and I'm excited about it.

Have you ever heard of this program? Tried this?

XO
Jen

PS: For the record this is entirely of my own doing. In fact I reached out to the book people to request a blogger copy of the book for review (hey, worth a shot!) and was denied so I payed for my own book and am doing this sheerly because I want to see if this will help me. Every opinion on this journey will be entirely my own. 

2012 is the year I will...

The other day I reviewed my 2011, now - on the eve of the eve of the new year, I figure that now would be a good time to think about what I'd like to accomplish in the year ahead.

So here we go.

2012 is the year I will…

1.  Run 1012 miles. I was going to shoot for 1000 but figured I'd throw in the extra 12 for good measure. This year I think I'll come in just shy of 850 - so it's not an impossible goal to shoot for but still challenging.

2.  Run a sub 2:20 half marathon.  Last year I ran a 2:24 - so shaving another 4 minutes off - will be challenging but not impossible.

3.  Run another marathon.  I will aim for around 5 hours but am flexible when it comes to time. I am still in the 'just finish' zone of such a goal.

4.  Continue this blog.

5.  Run a sub 28:30 5K.  My last 5K I ran in 28:48 so if I focus and work hard, I should be able to achieve it.

6.  Continue to maintain my weight loss.

7.  Remember to be thankful.  For family, friends, running, love, this blog, I am incredibly blessed.

8.  Remember to ENJOY it.  At the end of the day - goals for speed, miles and marathons are great but the most important part is to embrace it. This isn't a chore, this is a privilege. If it becomes a chore then it's time to reassess - don't let anything steal the joy away. (But don't be too quick to give up either!)

And that's my big running list of to do's will do's.  

Personally, I also want to also keep a cleaner house, get organized, take more chances (when it comes to career stuff) knock on more doors, live life more boldly and confidently and make things happen.

What are some of your 2012 goals?

XO

Jen

Lose weight and keep it off: Ten ways to weigh less in the New Year

I know this is a running blog and a lot of you do not need this advice, however as someone who has lost more than 90 pounds and has successfully kept it off for ore than a year now, I feel I can offer something for those of you who have been battling and battling weight.  So I'm (kinda) hanging up my sneakers for this one.

My weight loss wasn't immediate or easy. I have dealt with weight issues for most of my 39 years of life. I've lost it, gained it back, lost it again and have made a million mistakes. But here are some things I've learned.

Ten things I've learned about losing (and maintaining) weight loss:


1.  WHY?  First off, it is very important to write and FEEL the reasons why you want to lose weight. Being a smaller size to me was never that important to me. Yes. I hated how I looked and yes, I wanted to wear cute clothes but it just wasn't enough for me to keep going. However, hanging out with a few people who were negatively affected by diabetes and obesity began to motivate me. I saw my future riddled with health issues, physical limitations, depression and decreased quality of life. I had to make a decision that I WAS WORTH making good choices for so I could look forward to a better life.  And when the going gets tough it doesn't hurt to have me imagine the pain I would put my son and loved ones through if my decisions were to cut my life short.

2.  HEALTH VS WEIGHT LOSS.  Never mind the weight loss at first. That's right. Put the weight loss out of your mind for the first few days. Make your first goal to strive to eat as healthfully as possible. Don't immediately get hung up on serving size and calorie restriction because that's a diet and diets don't work. Lifestyle changes work. So, make a commitment to eat healthfully 90% of the time. Have oatmeal or a veggie omelet or yogurt with fruit for breakfast instead of pancakes and bacon.  Choose a blackbean soup and salad for lunch. Think in terms of fuel and feeding your body with great stuff. Make a game of choosing well whenever you can.  Olive oil instead of butter or a banana instead of syrup on a waffle. Once you've got a handle on that, start looking at 'calories in and out.'  Ironically by eating well you may naturally shed some weight without even trying.

3.  EAT.  Stop starving yourself, it's a sure backfire - you're slowing down your metabolism and setting yourself up for failure. Plan on 3 healthy meals and 2 healthy snacks a day. If you've eaten for the day and  are still (truly) hungry then EAT.  Sometimes if you drink some water or tea first you'll find that you weren't really hungry but if you are then turn to another healthy snack - an apple, a serving of veggies, a small fat free yogurt, a low fat string cheese. Deprivation will not serve you.  Better to eat fifty extra calories now than 500 later when you get to the point of "F" it - I'm-so-hungry-I don't-care-and-will-eat-til-I-can't-see.

4.  ONE MEAL AT A TIME.  Do not overwhelm yourself with the big picture.  Tackle your meals one at a time. If two out of three of your meals are solidly healthy then you are doing pretty good. Even if just one meal a day is solid - then you're doing better than nothing. If a meal was too indulgent, you've got another one right around the corner to get back on track.

5. IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS.  Feel like having a burger? Go for it. Skip the cheese, bacon and mayo and save more than 400 calories!! Trade a salad for the fries and save even more. For so long I thought, eh, I'm having a burger anyway, what's the difference if I throw a little cheese on it?  It adds up. Make just a few of these little choices a day and they add up to a lot over time.  What are the little things?  Skim milk instead of full fat, low fat cheese in lieu of regular, mustard instead of mayo, sandwich thins instead of regular bread, lean ground beef instead of regular and so on. Make swaps where you can.

in my case, i might occasionally drink
my calories

6.  FOOD GUILT IS STUPID.  I can relate. You're not stupid for feeling guilty but lighten up. We all love food. We all have issues with food and sometimes a wrong choice happens.  Shake it off and move on. Guilt leads us to loathing and loathing leads to depression and depression often leads to more overeating. So you ate a cupcake (or two) or you ate too much or ordered pizza… Listen. Welcome to the club. I've made a zillion and one of those missteps and still reached my weight loss goals. Dust yourself off and refer to tip number four.  If you want to counter some of the damage, take a walk, drink more water, analyze what went wrong. Guilt does nothing for you.  Instead of guiltily look back at the last meal, look forward to your next to get it better.

7.  SUPPORT.  I know a lot of you feel you can do it on your own but from my perspective, support is the best thing you can have - you just have to figure out what kind of support is best for you and seek it out. Do you need  a drill sergeant type that is gonna bark at you and ride your ass? (NOT ME!) but if it's you, find that. For me, I thrived at Weight Watchers. A solid program of healthy eating + weekly meetings + a weekly weigh in that keeps me connected was what worked for me. Find it, reach out for it and never stop looking until you find the support you need.

8.  MOVE IT and MOMENTUM.  I know that this is no news flash but you've gotta get some exercise in. I'm not saying you have to start running marathons (or even running for that matter) but aim for something. I don't care if your goal is just five minutes a day for a week.  You can do five minutes of lifting soup cans as you watch TV, five minutes of walking around the block, five minutes of jumping jacks or sit-ups… The most important part early on is just getting used to doing something everyday and building that momentum. As you get stronger, add more minutes and intensity. Even I had to stop an "all or nothing" attitude and that's how I came to my "No Mile Left Behind" philosophy. Some days I run 3, 6 or 8 miles and somedays I only run for ten minutes. It all counts.  Keep looking for an activity you enjoy and give it a fair shot. It probably took me a good month or two before I started to enjoy running, it took me longer to begin loving it and now I can't live without it. But, I was once the girl who would've rather have had a root canal than be subjected to run for 12 seconds.

9.  SPECIFIC GOALS + ACTION.  Once you've been eating healthfully and have a little exercise routine, you need to get specific about your goals. This is three fold. It's very abstract to say, "I want to lose weight." It's easy to lose focus on something so willy nilly.  It's better to say I want to lose 20 pounds by April 25th.  Set a date, circle it and look at it every, single, day. Then, break that into smaller goals - I want to lose 8 pounds by February 1st, for example. Then, break those goals into a specific plan. Write out how you'll get there. I will lose 8 pounds by February 1st by: Exercising for a minimum of 20 minutes a day, I will make every monday entirely vegetarian, I will attend Zumba every Friday night.

As runners - we don't just put a marathon on the calendar - we plot out how we intend to get to that goal thru a training plan.  And like running, even if your training plan isn't 100 percent perfect - we can pull off the marathon.  You don't have to be 100% perfect in your weight loss goals to get there either.

10.  FLEXIBILITY and NEVER GIVE UP.  For me, there is no "on and off" a diet. I just strive to do the best I can at any given moment and sometimes my best is oatmeal and fruit and sometimes my (not so) best is Chinese take-out.  Sometimes my best laid plans are foiled when I go to someone's house for dinner, I show up at a restaurant with a limited menu or I can't get my workout in. That's life. Be flexible, roll with the punches and accept that there are no paths or roads in life that are completely bump free. When you hit a bump, that's to be expected. No one is perfect. No one can be 100 percent the model eater and exerciser all the time. Just don't give up. One year of my 90 pound loss, I bumped around and only lost 7 pounds the whole year. OOPS. But I didn't give up and was able to get to the following year which brought me a 50 pound weight loss….  Glad I stuck it out.  And now 2 years later - who cares what year I lost what? Never give up and you'll get there.

DON'T LET THE SCALE DICTATE YOUR SUCCESS OR SELF-WORTH!!!  Sorry for the shouting but it's very, very important.  There are so many things to celebrate in your journey aside from the scale!! Did you choose healthier foods today? You rock. Did you exercise 3 or more days this week? You rock. Did you walk or run just a little further today then yesterday? You rock. Did your blood sugar improve, your risk of heart disease go down, your knees start to feel a little better? ROCK ON. Good decisions make so many good things happen and sometimes the scale doesn't give you the big picture so don't put so much "weight" on it.

Good luck with your goals. Please feel free to ask me any questions, rant, celebrate or anything else at any time!

XO

Jen