I Am Not Freaking Out about The Freakin' Scale

The freakin' scale totally plays with my mind. I know it shouldn't but it just does.

Last week I didn't get to go to my normal Sunday morning weigh-in / meeting which I was totally bummed about - I had remained true to program and know I would've had a good weigh-in. In fact, all week I was trying to find time to go to a meeting just to weigh in. Finally, this past Friday I got to a meeting and had lost 1.7 pounds. Not too shabby! That brought my weight loss, since recommitting, to nine glorious pounds! Yay for me!

The lady who had weighed me in said, "You're doing a beautiful job. Keep it up."

I strutted out of that meeting with my head held high. Proud of my work. Nine pounds! Almost ten pounds in one month! Woo hoo!!

But not so fast.

I returned to my normally scheduled meeting this morning (just two days after the Friday weigh in). I had two more pretty solid days of tracking my points and keeping it together. I even had a return to running yesterday and knocked off 2 miles at a good pace considering it's been two months since I've really run. Now I wasn't really expecting much of a loss in two days. Maybe a quarter to a half a pound... Maybe I would stay the same. Maybe I would even hit the ten pounds lost milestone... Wouldn't that be something!? But what I didn't expect was a gain - and a big one at that. Somehow the scale informed me that I was up 2.2 pounds... since Friday! Sucked the wind right out of my sails.

UGH

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! WHYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!????

My Weight Watcher leader thinks it could've been my return to running. My muscles retaining some water. Who knows. Instead of being down 9 pounds and close to 10 - it's now 6.8 lost. And I now have that feeling of going backward.

I know in my heart of hearts that there is no way I gained a real 2.2 pounds but then why do I still feel scale shame? Why do I still feel that sense of failure?

I mean I didn't fail this week! I worked my ass off. I skipped into that meeting room feeling good about all the good things I did last week. But that freakin' scale.

I said no to so many tempting foods and situations last week.

I killed my fitness goal of earning 72 fit points (and earned 85!). I started running again. I made homemade foods. I made many good choices when eating out and tracked every bite. I'm 100% more mindful of my decisions.

Nope - I'm not perfect. I could drink more water and less wine.

I still want to add some strength training.

But overall I was on plan and did well. I did not deserve a 2.2 pound gain.

How come the scale can just knock all of those good feelings of doing well right from your hands?

The scale is a funny thing. I mean I know on an intellectual level that it's no true testament to all the good things I'm doing for my body, my health and my well-being. I know intellectually that anything from extra sodium, to exercise to "that time of the month" can affect the scale. Yet, emotionally, it's hard to not let it be the dictator of everything. It plays with your mind and the negative thoughts can come flooding back, just like that. "Can I really do this?" "If I can't lose weight when I'm really trying, forget it. Why bother?"

I'm replacing real noodles with zucchini "zoodles"
for the love of God!

So now what? I mean all I can do is dust myself off and stay the course. All I can do is try to not freak out about the freakin' scale. All I can do is list all of my "whys" in doing this and hold onto them with both hands.

All I can do is remind myself that the scale is not a judge and jury. The number on the scale doesn't define if I'm a good or bad person and it doesn't take away all the right things I'm doing.

I am more than the number on the scale. My pants are fitting better and I'm feeling better. That counts!

What do you do when you're faced with a disappointing weigh in?

XO
Jen

Freestyling on Weight Watchers: Weighing in on Week Two

Hey there!

So last week was another week doing the Weight Watcher Freestyle program and I must say I still am really digging the program.

Here's what I did that was good:

• I meal prepped and brought my own food with me to work for breakfast and lunch - even though there's a giant spread of food there. Having my own stuff helped me to keep in control
• I aimed to walk and get in close to 10,000 steps a day and succeeded more than I didn't
• I earned the "blue dots" in the Weight Watcher App 6 out of 7 days

Here's what I didn't accomplish which I wanted to:

• Still didn't drink nearly enough water
• Used a few too many points on empty calories like alcohol
• Didn't get to the gym once - no run / no strength :( 
• I totally overate on Friday night and was mad at myself for letting myself get talked into ordering something less than healthy and eating it until I was beyond stuffed

But, even with the "not so good" moments I had another good loss. I was down 2.6 pounds! That a total of 7.2 pounds down so far! YAY! 

WooHoo! 

I was shocked. Although my clothing is fitting better and I'm feeling good overall - I was so sure that the Friday night binge and lack of getting to the gym were going to get me. I expected either a very tiny weight loss (like .2) or a slight gain. I was so not prepared to have lost 2.6 - so much so that the lady weighing me questioned why I looked so upset. I wasn't upset, I told her, "I'm just confused seeing that number because I was braced for something much higher." It took a minute for my brain to process the number especially after losing so much the week before! I never have losses like that two weeks in a row! In fact, I'm still not completely convinced that the scale is right and that the loss is legit. Which is kind of ridiculous. Why is it my default to assume that the bad moments totally outweighed the good ones? Why can't I just think, "Damn, I worked hard. I said no to a thousand fattening choices this week, made sure to get in my steps, carried my food all over and ordered steamed shrimp with broccoli when dining out instead of a calorie bomb of a dish and I guess it paid off." 

speaking of calorie bombs. Holy shit.

I don't know. But I am very happy that I've got a little momentum. 

So after the meeting I decided to do some meal prep. 

I made a bowl of hardboiled eggs. And then I attempted these 3 point bagels from Skinnytaste which are all the rage right now. 

I was super dubious. I made the GF version (so they are 4 points). And the dough was sticky and icky and I wasn't sure how they would turn out. 

Uh. I don't know about this.

They looked much better out of the oven!

And guess what? They are pretty tasty too. I had a half of one for breakfast (for 2 pts.) and I enjoyed it. 

I also whipped up my spinach pie. I took the original recipe for it and added another egg and a half a cup of plain, fat free Greek yogurt. The extra egg and yogurt really made it even better. 

So tasty

Then I decided to make soup. I remembered this 13 bean blend that my friend Angela used to make a soup with and figured it would make a great 0 point soup. So I got it. 

I soaked the beans overnight. In the morning I removed 3 cups of beans (it makes a shit load of beans) and put them in the fridge to do something else with. 

I put the rest of the beans into my crockpot. I added a chopped onion, 4 chopped garlic cloves, a 15 oz. can of basil, garlic and onion diced tomatoes, two boulion cubes, 2 bay leaves a little pepper and a dash of salt. Filled the crock pot almost to the top with water and put it on low for the day. 

OMG - it's YUMMY. So flavorful, hearty and comforting. It's a winner. Even my husband who's not particularly trying to lose weight loves it.  

It's really yummy

Please don't ask me how many servings it is - Just know it's a lot and I will be having this soup all week.  :)

Thanks for following my journey. How was your week? 

XO

Jen 

Weighing In - Week One

I felt really good going into this week's weigh-in. I feel like I did a lot of things right. I made it to the gym 3 times where I at least ran/walked for no less than 30 minutes. (Surpassed my Weight Watcher goal of 72 FitPoints and actually earned 80!)

THE GOOD: I was very mindful of what I ate and tracked every day. I managed to earn the "within healthy point range" for 6 days in a row. 

TY WW app. I am proud :) 

THE BAD: I didn't drink enough water and I didn't get in any strength training which I'd like to try to work on.  I also drank alcohol (using my points!) almost every day. I should cut back on that but for better or worse I enjoy my nightly cocktail. 

I also did all of that even though between the holiday, working all week and a snow day, my routine was completely off.

So week one is in the books and the good news? I lost 3.8 pounds! Yay! This brings me 176.4 :)  I never thought I'd put a smiley face next to 176.4 but progress is progress and I'll take the victories as they come. 

Over the hill! 

My first goal is to get to 165 which is my Weight Watcher's goal (At this weight my doctor has determined that I'm healthy). At 165 I reach "lifetime" status again and don't have to pay for meetings as long as I stay at that weight or below. Plus most of my clothes fit (or fit better) at that weight.

My second goal is to get to and maintain between 150 -155.  

But my ultimate goal is to really just live healthfully and happily. If that's at 155 or 158 or 160 - so be it. I don't have to be skinny. I don't want to obsess over the number once I'm in the healthy range for me. I want to enjoy good whole foods, I want to work out hard, I want to be able to run the Chicago Marathon in October strong. I want to be fit. My goal is not to have the smallest ass or boast a size 2 label. My goal is to be happy, healthy and comfortable in my own skin.

I am not paid to endorse Weight Watchers. I do sing their praises because it's worked for me in the past and will work for me again. With that said, I have to say once again, I LOVE the new program. It's just so great knowing that I can EAT if I'm hungry. And I have. This is not a diet. It's a lifestyle that is doable encouraging healthy whole foods. I love that I can make my split pea soup or have a bowl of (lean) turkey chili or just grab a hard-boiled egg to take the edge off being hungry without having to burn any points. 

How was your first week of 2018?

XO

Jen 

2018 is Off to a Good Start!

Happy New Year all!

First, some exciting news! Our documentary film, From Fat to Finish Line, made this "10 Things to Watch on Netflix on New Year's Day" list. That was very exciting :) 

After sleeping in a little this morning I got up and decided to make spinach pie. I find it to be pretty tasty and it's only 1SP per serving on the new Freestyle Weight Watcher's program. If you want to check out the recipe you can find it here. It's pretty simple and tasty with a cup of soup, as a quick snack, a side dish or even for breakfast.

My very green meatless 1SP lunch -
That's the Split Pea Soup I made yesterday.

After lunch I finally decided to get myself to the gym. My goal was to do at least 30 minutes of walk/run on treadmill - I managed 4 miles and a little over an hour. It felt great! 

I also took all of my measurements and made some short-term goals for myself:

Nutrition: I want to be as on point as possible with WW - my aim is 25 'blue dots.' For those of you not on Weight Watchers, the app gives you this blue dot when you're tracking and within your point range for the day. Looks like this: 

Fitness:  I'm aiming for 16 workouts or runs this month. With a combination of cross fit (or strength training) or running. Now I want to do more than this but this is a good goal. 

Personal: My goal is to blog 3-4 times a week if not daily for my own personal accountability and blogging really does help me to keep on track. 

Have you made any goals for the new year? How's your 2018 so far? 

XO

Jen

Spinach Pie Recipe

Weight Watcher's Freestyle Spinach Pie 

Spinach Pie

1 SP for a fourth of the pie

I love this tasty little spinach pie. It's only 1SP for a fourth of the pie! It's great as a side dish, served with some soup or salad or as a little snack.

You could use real cheese but it will up the points.

Ingredients:
20 oz. of frozen spinach
4 eggs beaten
3 minced cloves of garlic
small onion chopped
1/2 cup of FF Greek Yogurt
1/4 cup of grated parmesan cheese
1/4 cup of Kraft fat free shredded cheddar cheese
1/4 cup of Kraft fat free shredded mozarella
generous shake of garlic powder
salt and pepper to taste

Directions: 
Preheat oven to 350 - spray a pie dish (I use a glass Pyrex one) with a little olive oil spray.
Thaw out spinach and squeeze out as much of the liquid as you can
Beat the eggs and stir all the other ingredients together - then add spinach.
Pour into pie dish and bake for about 20 minutes
Keeps well in the fridge and does well microwaved the next day

I bet this would be tasty with some shredded rotisserie chicken breast added. Could probably add some mushrooms as well.

My lunch: Spinach pie with my 0 point split pea soup

Enjoy!

XO

Jen

Happy New Year's Eve! My Ugly Weight Watcher Weigh-In

Happy almost 2018! 

Went to Weight Watchers this morning for my weekly weigh-in and as suspected it was a shit show. I mentioned the other day that I love the new Weight Watcher's Freestyle program and I'd lost 5 pounds the first week. The new program is great... when you actually do it.  I ate like an asshole indulgently the last two weeks and drank dirty martinis like I had stock in olives and vodka, and well, I gained four back.

For accountability, I will be sharing my weight with the world after each weigh-in. Or at least the 5 of you who read this blog). This is terrifying but I think that sharing the good, bad, and ugly of the journey is important. So my starting weight as of right now is 180.2 - I haven't weighed this in at least seven years. Kind of a bummer but no surprise. You can't eat and drink like I have and fizzle out on the working out part and expect the scale not to "reward" you with a nice hefty gain. Worse than the scale though is how tight my clothes feel and how I don't love what I see looking back at me in the mirror lately. I came to identify myself as a runner and lately I just feel like a slug. An imposter. My goal weight is 150. I hung around the 160's like 165'ish for a long time and now I find myself here. Oh well. I can get hung up on this number or I can do something about it. So here we go.

So that's the bad news. But here's the good. I really do like the new program and I'm ready to get going. For the first time, in a long time, I feel energized to get back on track and back to me. I feel my best when I'm working out, eating right and taking care of myself. I want that feeling back. I can't change the past but can change what I do right now. That's what I'm focusing on. 

After the meeting today I went to the gym and ran/walked for four miles. It felt really awesome to be moving and was literally a step in the right direction. Then I came home and made some foods to help support my eating right this week. I made a slow cooker Freestyle Split Pea Soup (0 points on Weight Watchers!) Here's the recipe. And then I made this delicious chicken cutlet thing w/diced tomatoes and white beans - Recipe here. 

Split Pea Soup ingredients

So onward and upward!

Thanks for joining me on this journey and I wish you all the best in 2018.

XO
Jen

Weight Watchers Freestyle Chicken Cutlet and White Bean Recipe

Weight Watcher's Freestyle Chicken Cutlet and White Bean Recipe

This was super tasty and very fast to make. I had it over a 1/2 cup of rice. I bet it would be amazing over pasta or quinoa. It would probably also be great over zoodles or cauliflower rice - keeping it 100% freestyle.

The recipe itself is hearty and 0 Freestyle points.

Ingredients:

A few chicken cutlets (I think I might've had a little less than a pound of them? About six)

1 thinly sliced medium onion

1 thinly sliced green bell pepper

2 chopped garlic cloves

1 15.5 oz can of diced tomatoes (mine has basil flavoring)

1  15.5 oz can of white beans

1 tbs of capers

1/3 cup of mild banana pepper rings (the kind that come sliced in a jar) 

seasonings: salt, pepper, garlic powder, pepper flakes (whatever you want). 

Spray a large non-stick pan with a little olive oil cooking spray. Sautee onions, peppers and garlic until slightly softened. (I also sprinkled those with a little salt and pepper) 

Push the veggies to the side.

Season the chicken with the spices and cook on each side for about a minute each. 

Put the veggies over the chicken and add the beans, tomatoes banana peppers and capers.

Cover and cook for about ten minutes.  I put it over a half a cup of white rice (3 pts.)

I think this would be great with some mushrooms tossed in and maybe even some string beans. 

Enjoy! Let me know what you think. 

XO

Jen 

Weight Watcher Freestyle Split Pea Soup Recipe

Weight Watcher Freestyle Split Pea Soup 

I made this recipe last week and it was delicious. Hearty and satisfying this Freestyle soup comes to 0 points per serving. I made this in a crockpot but you could probably simmer it on the stove for a few hours as well. 

Ingredients:

1 bag (1 pound) of split peas rinsed. 

1 medium onion diced

2-3 medium carrots peeled and chopped

2-3 medium celery stalks chopped

2-3 cloves of garlic minced

1 bay leaf

1/4 cup chopped parsley

4 cups of chicken or veg stock

3 cups of water

(optional) 2 tsp of liquid smoke 

Put the split peas in the bottom of the crockpot - put the rest of the veggies on top, season with salt and pepper. Pour the liquids in and add the liquid smoke. 

Set crockpot on low for 8-10 hours or high for about five hours.  

Optional: Add one cup of diced ham for the last half an hour (this adds a point per cup). 

Makes about 7-8 one cup servings. 

If it's too thick add a little extra water. 

Enjoy! 

My Take on the New Freestyle Weight Watchers Program

So I've been floundering around with Weight Watchers since the beginning of time. (Ok for the last year or so). I've been going to my meetings (which I really, really enjoy) but the actual following through and following the program has been dicey.

I don't know what happens. I go to the meeting, get excited for the week ahead, track a meal or two and then it all falls to shit. Rinse and repeat. Sigh.

Love when I manage to get those blue dots!

Anyway, I'm really excited about this new program and feeling rejuvenated. The first week of trying it I absolutely loved it and recorded a great loss for me. Basically, you get a few less points but there are a lot of point-free foods to keep you satisfied.

Great loss for me! First week on Freestyle

The "free" foods include:

• Eggs
• Skinless chicken breast
• Beans 
• Tofu
• Edamame
• Most fish 
• Corn
• Peas
• Fruits & Veggies 
• Fat free plain Greek yogurt

The first week that I did it I was super prepared - I made hard boiled eggs for quick and free snacks, I made a big batch of chicken chili and I roasted chick peas for crunchier snacks. I was never hungry because truthfully, there's no reason to not eat something if you're hungry. There can be many choices... if you're prepared. 

The second week was weaker for me because I didn't meal prep, I wasn't as prepared and it made a big differnce. This is the big key for me. I must, must plan and prep.

Steamed Shrimp and Broccoli - FREE
1/3 cup brown rice - 2pts
2 steamed dumplings 4pts
2 tablespoons of brown sauce on side 1pt
Chinese takeout done right! YUM

Truthfully with the holidays hitting I've been half-assing it and eating stuff that I rarely do (and only at this time of year.) However, I'm super excited to really grab this program and run with it. I did massive shopping today and I'm ready to commit 100% to getting back to goal. 

I'll share some recipes in upcoming posts. 

I really think that Weight Watchers has nailed it with their current program. 

Hope you are all doing well! 

XO

Jen