I could run 500 miles and I could run 500 more...

I love this corny stuff… Nike celebrates my 500th mile ran. Even though I've run more (this is just since getting Nike+ ) It still makes me happy :)

Did 16 miles this morning. Not. Easy. But psyched that I did it!  this weekend I'll be running my anniversary half at the Jersey Shore!



xo
jen

The good news and not so great news

Our movie poster up at the theater! The red guitar! 

Hello running buddies!

Last week I was in Nashville to celebrate the world premiere of the film I worked on as a producer, "Happy On The Ground: 8 Days at GRAMMY Camp," at the Nashville Film Festival.

It was an exciting week and an awesome experience to see our film on the big screen in front of an audience of strangers -- all who seemed to really love the film. We followed our screening with a really cool after-party that was hosted by Ben Folds. It was neat.

Of course all this moving and shaking left me with little running time. I am proud to say I got a few miles in while in Nashville. It was beautiful there. I did a paltry little 2 mile walk/run the first day (I was super dehydrated and had about 20 minutes to kill) and then I did a four miler.  While it was a far cry from what I should've been doing, the pride comes in because I had to find that time and in the past I wouldn't have done anything at all. At least I gave it a shot and hopefully, next time, I'll give it a better shot.

Upon my return this past Thursday, my schedule has not become lighter and I'm yet to really run miles I should be. But, again, I'm proud of what I'm getting in. 2 miles, 3 miles, 2 miles and five miles today. (I was going to do 6 today but the heat broke me down and I walked the last home - teaches me to remember to bring my water!)

While I'm not doing what I'd like to/supposed to be doing but I'm doing something which is more than the old me would be doing -- I'm rolling with the punches and stealing in time when I can. This week I plan to hunker down and concentrate in being in good enough form to run/walk/crawl this marathon in June. OY. I wish I had 2 more months!

So the good news is, I'm hanging in. I'm not throwing in the towel - I'm not giving up. This is great news for me who's always been so black and white - if I couldn't run 8 miles on an 8 mile day, then I'd do nothing. So even if it's only 2 out of 8 - while it's not ideal it's better than nothing. The not so great news… well, I'm woefully behind in training and it's going to make the marathon even more challenging. Eh. It is what it is as they say.

I have plans on getting the 16 I was supposed to do over the weekend either tomorrow or Tuesday morning - really early in the morn -- and then this weekend I run the Jersey Shore half - My anniversary run! I'm looking forward to it, though a little bummed that no one is going down with me. I'm on my own. I'll have to be content to run for the bling and the cool strangers rooting me on. Someday, I'll have someone with a sign out there for me :)

And sad news - Sara at Words to Run by lost her mom this past Thursday. Her mom was a runner and training for her first quarter marathon and suddenly passed away. My heart is heavy for Sara and today I spent most of my run thinking of her. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

XO
Jen

Pain is temporary pride forever -- 16 miles!

I ran 16 miles today -- holy cow! 16 miles! It was one of the harder things I've done in my life but I am so happy after today's run. 

The first few miles I'm usually a little itchy. It seems, leave it to me, I am allergic to running. Stop laughing. I'm serious. This is where 99% of my friends sarcastically insert, "yeah. Me too." 

I always get itchy hives when I run and it's been a mystery. I thought it was the pants, then I thought it was the detergent, then I just chalked it up to being a weird-o, but nope, it's been determined - I have something called exercise-induced Urticaria  it's not that big of a deal - the hives go away after a half an hour after running and they (random folks on the internet) say I can take an otc allergy med before running to help (haven't tried that yet) but it is annoying to be running and itchy.  Oh well. But, yeah. Awesome. At least I'm not a weird-o (at least for this reason).

Anyway, despite looking like a crazy person as I scratch my legs while I'm running, I am pretty strong up until 8 miles and then the hips and lower back pain kicks in -- thankfully by miles 12 and above the lactic acid and cramping have taken over my hamstrings and glutes, so that I no longer think about the hip pain so much. LOL and by this time, I've totally forgotten about the hives… so that's all good. :)

But in-spite of all the discomfort, I really felt great today. I felt alive and focused. When things got tough with pain I chanted, "Pain is temporary, pride forever" I remembered how running for 2 minutes straight once felt impossible, and then running a mile without walking an impossible dream and now -- today I ran for SIXTEEN MILES… just ten-point-two short of the finish line.

And yes, upping the miles even more is scary and intimidating but I believe in believing that I can do it. I love the Ford quote, "If you believe you can or you believe you cannot - you are right."

While I'm still not the quickest runner in the park and I'm still eating lots of fancy looking runners dust, I felt super victorious today and I really, really, mentally needed to get to mileage like this.

I am not going to sweat this training anymore. I'm going to do the very best I can. I'm going to get to San Diego and then somehow I will run a marathon.

XO

Jen

My marathon journey: A rocky course to get to the starting line

This full marathon journey training has been challenging on every single level for me. It's been surprisingly a thousand times harder than the training for my first half marathon. Sure, the miles are more, the training more intense but it's not so much that.

The first time around, I had so much support, people sincerely "rooting" me on -- that feeling of love really carried me through the times that I questioned the journey. But, this is where I must put on my big girl pants and muddle through. This is no one else's journey but mine.  Those who do support me, however, have risen to the occasion and have really kept me going.

There have been the other obstacles too. I've been hit with injuries, confronted with time issues, buried in a winter of snow, even struggled with finding the right sneakers for my 'over-pronating' wide feet that couldn't seem to settle into the right fit. I've battled my own insecurities, hours of tedious treadmill long runs, travel, stress, depression and whatever else we all have to deal with on a daily basis.

This course has not been fast and flat - it's been uphill and a bitch the whole way.

I'm feeling woefully under-trained - last year I didn't miss one yard of the training prescribed for me, this time around, short runs have been altered, long runs aborted and things have been willy nilly.

my running buddy - literally on the path during my last long run

Last week I did a long run of 14.5 miles. It wasn't easy but it was a great long run and I silently thanked the running Gods for that much needed gift.  This past week I was to run 16 -- I went out there fully prepared and with the mind-set to do it -- until hail/rain/gusty wind put an end to it - I wound up with about 12. My schedule has been tweaked once again from Coach Leslie - I have not given up.

I just need to get to that finish line. But I need to push myself to the starting line first.

There have been more times than I would care to admit that thoughts of quitting has bubbled up.  Every day - I consider raising the white flag. I could drop to the RNR half and easily complete that - receive my medal and 'rock out' in San Diego. But that medal wouldn't erase the letters that would be branded on my brain - 'DNF'.

So with all of this - why am I doing this?

I ask myself this question a lot - especially during the second half of a long run...

Some days I struggle to answer it but at its very core the answer is simple - I made it a goal. I decided to tell myself and the world that this is something I want to accomplish - this is something I can accomplish. Giving up now would do nothing for me. Will I be trained enough? Will I be able to do 26.2? I'm not even sure anymore but I would rather try and fail than never try at all. If I 'fall' at mile 16 or 18 or 22 - I'll be disappointed - probably devastated but quitting before I even get to the starting line? It's just not an option.

It's not about being perfect - it's about persevering. I've read from other runners that it's often not their "PR" races that is their proudest accomplishment - it's the race where everything went wrong, the weather bad, the wrong sneakers packed, the forgotten gels or illness… where they faced a really tough battle and got to that finish line anyway.

It would be easy to quit and probably even met with some support and relief from some folks in my life - but I will not quit. I will not give up. I've always given up when things got tough or uncomfortable. If I'm ever going to really change my life then I have to be willing to suffer through being out of my comfort zone. Life throws us curves - it's not the time to curl up into the fetal position and cry (as much as I'd like to some days!) It's the time to work harder and dig deep and believe.

"There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living" -Nelson Mandela

XOXO
Jen

PS: Congrats Jason on your amazing Half Iron-Man finish!! So proud and excited for you - check out his race report here.

Ups and downs

It's been a long week.

I did my Cupcake marathon last weekend and completed my 13.1 in 2:36.   I'm very happy to add this to my half marathon accomplishments. While it was more "long run" training than racing, it is still a better time than my last half which took me 3hours. In that regard, I PR'ed! :)

That's great but I have to admit that long run was tough on me. I was thrilled that the weather was nice enough to run outside but by mile ten I was hitting the wall.  I was sore, achey and the long run just felt like the longest run ever.

It wasn't that "gee I love to run" long run thing that I usually can muster. It was more like, "What the hell am I doing?" "How am I ever gonna run 26?"  UGH.

Even my six mile run on Monday was pretty blah… So blah that this was an actual Daily Mile comment:

I'm not even sure who Griffin is but he was right!

By the way, I was proud of myself for trying to make it a happier post by not adding the "blah face" smiley and by selecting the happy face icon. Guess that didn't help much! LOL (Oh and thanks Sara for the vote of confidence!)

Today I'm getting ready to run 14 and I feel dread. Why!? I don't want to feel dread. I want to feel challenged and excited to take them on… I'm hoping I find something during that 14 today - just not sure what.

I am in a fight with this negativity. I really am. I want to be Polly positive all the time. I have others that look to me for inspiration. I dig deep, I read inspiring quotes, I talk to like-minded folks. But like anything worth having, I guess it takes work sometimes. My old habits and thoughts die hard.

I'm also experiencing great anxiety about being properly trained in time - I'm not feeling confident about that. I have a lot coming up that is going to make getting all those miles in challenging.

All of it is overwhelming.

But. All I can do is take it a day at a time. Do what I can do today and let the rest fall where it may. Maybe I won't be "trained enough" but if I'm trained enough where I can jog, walk or crawl over the finish line without dying… well, I will still consider that a victory.

I realize that we all hit this wall from time-to-time and that a crappy run every once in a while happens. I guess it's what you do after them that matters.

The upside and the positive in all this negative is - I haven't given up. I am tempted to go shopping, watch TV, (uh, write this blog post) or do anything else but run 14 miles today. The old me would've said forget it. I'm done. This isn't fun anymore so I'm taking my iPod and going home. I'm not doing that. I'm still forging forward and giving it my best shot. And just savoring that push forward mentality for a moment is making me feel a wee bit better.

I've gotta go. I've got a few miles to run.

How do you bounce back from a few not so fun runs?

XO
Jen

Film Festivals, Cupcakes and Determination

Hello,

Yay! 

I am sorry, I know I have been the crappiest blogger ever lately. I just have been super busy with stuff. First of all the documentary film that I co-produced Happy on the Ground: 8 Days at GRAMMY Camp, has been accepted into the Nashville Film Festival! Yippee!! So we've been up to our eyeballs prepping for that. Here's the movie poster. If you're in Nashville, swing by a screening and say hi! (Plus, the film is really great - if I do say so myself.) =)

You can view the trailer here.

I've also been working hard on multiple other projects, being a mom, etc, etc… I know. Cry ya a river. We're all friggen busy.

In any case, I've been getting back up to speed (once again - thanks Lesley!) with the running. I've been quietly getting up extra early, putting in my miles and just doing it. Today I only did 4 out of 6 because I didn't get up early enough so I'll make those up.

I am very excited about Jason's Cupcake Marathon this weekend - I am sending the positive vibes into the universe that I win the spibelt - I need one, money is tight and the leather fanny pack I've been using just isn't cutting it- LOL.  Coach Lesley has me down to run a 12 miler on Saturday but I'm going to go for 13 so I get my virtual 1/2 marathon in!  Jason's rules allows us to break up the run but I figure, "eh, why do that?" I'm arunnin' it straight.

And speaking of coach Lesley - I've got a new roomie for San Diego! Lesley from Racing It Off and Sherry (my newest blog follower - hi Sherry!) Have extended an invite for me to shack up with them for the SD RNR marathon in June. I'm excited and think it's going to be a great weekend. (Although I'm in a panic about being properly prepared… I'm just doing my best, doing my best…)

And (thanks Nik) today's RunnersWorld quote from Jeff Galloway says:

"The more you frame the marathon as a stressful experience, the more negative messages you'll receive. But it's just as easy to frame it as a positively challenging journey."

And more inspiration comes from this Jack Canfield blog post I read today, entitled, "The Power of Determination." Feeling a little uncertain and very "off" lately and this read really struck home.

I would encourage you to read the post, it's a quick read but I especially loved what he had to say about adversity:

Adversity and Discouragement Is Inevitable

No matter how well you plan and how well you execute your plan, you are bound to meet with disappointments, setbacks and failure along the way to your ultimate triumph...  

...The longer you hang in there, the greater the chance that something will happen in your favor. No matter how hard it seems, the longer you persist, the more likely your success will be. 

As Confucius wrote more than 4000 years ago in China, “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” 

Hope you all are doing great - what's going on with you?


XO
Jen

I've been running and busy - two quick shout outs...

always some kind of foot pain. yee ha

I have had a few successful runs and one HUGE long run fail.

UGH - Saturday my 10 miler got cut to 5 miles because of throbbing blisters on my pinky toes. - at 2 miles they hurt at 3 miles I knew I was in trouble at 4 miles I sucked up the pain enough to at least get to 5. I never had blisters like that - even walking around without shoes on hurt for two days! Apparently, those great sneakers I just bought were just a little too narrow in the toe box :(  I suspected that after the first 2 runs in them but was hoping they just needed to break in. They felt so good just walking around in them and they felt fine for the smaller 3 mile run but not until you really run some miles do you always know how sneaks are gonna work out, I guess.

Luckily, shout out number one: RUNNING WAREHOUSE ROCKS! I called them, apologized that I had run 3 times in them, explained the situation and the friendly customer service agent, Kate, said that while it's not their policy to let you return already worn shoes, she would let me do it and agreed to allow me to get a different pair. No drama, just very pleasant customer service. I was impressed. I was fully ready to accept that I was going to be stuck with a pair of sneakers I'd never wear again.  I will be a customer for life. 

I'm going back to the basic pair that I started running in a year ago. I really liked those the best so I'm sticking with them. 

And shout out number 2: big thank you, thank you to LESLEY at  RACING IT OFF! She's been a great bloggy friend to me for many months now. She even has made plans to run the San Diego RNR marathon so we'll be meeting for my first big run. Fretting over my lost weeks and missed runs, she took my running plan and went week by week, day-by-day for the rest of my training program to custom tailor it for me! =)  How nice is that? And her program looks so much doable for me while still building the miles.  I feel so much mentally "back on track". 

Lesley, you're awesome. Thank you! 

All in all my ankle is doing fine. Strangely, my left hip has been achey after runs (like it used to be when I first started running) but I suspect that it's "growing pains" from hobbling strangely for a few weeks with the injury. It's annoying but I'll live.

How are you all doing?

XO

Jen