Turning Crappy into Happy Somehow

I know it's been a long time and I don't really even know where to start.

A whole lot of stuff and a whole lot of nothing has happened since the last time I decided to write.

My son (who I spoke about in this post about autism is doing GREAT on his new gf/df diet and is thriving. More about him in an upcoming post - but I thought I should let you know that he's been doing well and we've been turning corners on that front.)

Ben writing a song and my messy kitchen 

OK - So enough of the chit chat. Back to the running and stuff.  Here's the real deal of how I'm feeling about myself lately:

LIKE SHIT.

No other way to say it.

I feel like a fraudulent, blobby, can't-stop-eating-barely-running, bloggless blogger.

I have excuses (semi-valid ones too) I'm traveling (in fact I'm back in KY shooting our show as I write) and as I travel I feel guilty and miss my family - and I've been busy. I also started a 'holiday' running streak which got cut short because of a really weird pain I've been getting in a tendon around my inner ankle and was fearful of injury so have been running shorter and slower.

But no excuses can really take away the fact that I'm eating way too much crappy foods. When I lost the bulk of my weight I did a great job at sticking to mostly whole foods and cut out all the garbage-y processed cruddy stuff. I felt great eating like that. I never felt deprived.

But slowly but surely over the course of the last few months (year?) I started to add more and more 'convenience' foods back. Only I've been fooling myself because I've been justifying these choices because they aren't the 'obvious' processed foods I once ate. The foods I'm eating now tout organic and gluten-free labels. I buy them at places like Whole Foods and Fairway. They are pricey and not the Lean Cuisines and cheap foods I once ate. BUT the issue is that these convenience foods pack in lots of calories and fat grams and are still not as nutrient dense as just eating whole foods. They might be a quick meal made with organic chicken and organic gluten free noodles but often you're still left feeling hungry or un-satiated so you reach for more.

To make matters worse, all of a sudden I'm snacking on things like "organic coconut-milk ice-cream" or gluten free crackers (where I once snacked on fruit or a handful of nuts.) Both which has too many calories with little nutritional payback.

I also went Dairy free a year or two ago but have let that seep back in.

Annnnnd I am drinking too much. I don't think I yet need to attend meetings but I would be lying if I didn't tell ya that I like to have a glass (or two) of wine a few times every night of the week and on the weekends I make myself my dirty martinis. All those extra empty calories are adding up too. I didn't really drink when I lost my weight - not so consistently anyway. On the weekends here and there but not nightly.

I'm running a little bit here and there 2 or 3 times a week I guess (but they've been shorter runs) and it's just not enough to come close to cover all these calories.

And where does that leave me? Carrying at least 10 extra pounds (I haven't been on a scale in a while), tighter pants and feeling pretty yucky about it all.

Luckily, I have a plan!

My Moms In Motion Running Coach Dana recommended a book she is reading on our MIM FB page called, It Starts With Food. She said it was a healthy eating approach meant to kind of detox and reset your body by eating healthy foods. So I checked it out. At first I thought no fucking way that it would be really challenging because the program is very strict with 0 room for slips or cheats. No alcohol, No gluten, No grains (including 'healthy' grains like brown rice, oatmeal or quinoa), no dairy, no legumes like: beans, corn, lima beans, chick peas or peanuts and absolutely no sugar in any shape or form (including artificial sweeteners, honey, stevia, etc.) Also no artificial stuff at all - no MSG, Carrageenan, etc (that I've been on board for, for a long time), also no white potatoes.

No wine? No hummus, no brown rice or black beans even. Ugh. Poop. No way. What is this un-Godly and ridiculous diet? I mean what's so bad about quinoa and beans???

But the more I read the book the more I felt it was worth really sucking it up for 30 days and doing it. This plan isn't about the weight loss it's about reducing inflammation, healing your gut, balancing your insulin levels, etc. It's about getting your body to optimal health and then slowly reintroducing your body to some of the foods you eliminated for the 30 days. Turns out there are really good reasons to eliminate these foods and see if they are effecting you or not.

What can you eat? Organic eggs, meat, poultry and fish. Sweet potatoes, all the squashes, all the vegetables and fruits that you want, healthy fats like coconut oil, olive oil, ghee and even clarified butter as well as some nuts like cashews, macadamias and hazelnuts…. oh. and thankfully, coffee. (I am not sure if I could've given up wine and coffee so this program does have a little mercy.)

You can read more about the program here at the Whole9.  You're supposed to do it for 30 days.

The testimonials from people in the Whole9/It Starts with Food community are astounding. You can eat when you are hungry there's no calorie counting or anything. There are plenty of guidelines and I'm enjoying the book.

I've decided that I'm going to do this for the entire month of January. I need to reset my body. I need to just kind of break free of all the bad habits I've quietly and gradually slipped into. I don't think that 'moderation' will really help me right now (I'll only drink on Saturdays or I'll just have some gluten free bread once or twice a week…) I feel like I need to go cold turkey on most of these things.  If I tried to just "cut down" on smoking it wouldn't have worked either. I know me. I like all of the foods on the "can" have list so I will just have to celebrate and enjoy what I can eat instead of lament about the can't have stuff. The alcohol is going to be hard. But I have faced hard before. Quitting smoking, dealing with a child with autism, losing 100 pounds -- all pretty hard. It's going to make me healthier and stronger and I'm worth doing something hard for.

So let me know if you're interested in giving something like this a shot too. Maybe we can do it together. I am planning to blog daily (or close to it) about this new journey and I'm excited about it.

Have you ever heard of this program? Tried this?

XO
Jen

PS: For the record this is entirely of my own doing. In fact I reached out to the book people to request a blogger copy of the book for review (hey, worth a shot!) and was denied so I payed for my own book and am doing this sheerly because I want to see if this will help me. Every opinion on this journey will be entirely my own.