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| On the right - highest weight. Please Lord - never again |
It just never gets easier.
When you have the audacity to start a blog and share your weight-loss journey with the world (or in my case, about 361 on/off followers) people look to you for advice, inspiration - the 'secrets' to success.
Well shit. The truth is, some days I just feel like a big-fat fraud. And fat being purposely used in this case.
My weight is up and has been up for months. Not obscenely so. My happy, "I want to be this weight forever weight" is right about 144/145 pounds but I've been stuck around 150 for months. And this month I have been flirting right around 151/152.
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| at approx. my happy weight |
I tell myself, 150 is not horrible. It's my 'official' Weight Watcher goal and technically I'm still a free 'lifetime' member since I've managed to continue to be within 2 pounds of goal.
I tell myself - even though some of my clothing feels snug. They still fit.
I tell myself that "you know what to do." And like a drug addict or alcoholic, "I can stop at any time right now I'm just a little extra hungry."
But deep down I'm panicking. If I could let these 5/6 pounds come back and let them hang out for months - what about the next 2 or 3 pounds. And then the next 5/6 pounds.
The alarmist in me praying that I don't suddenly wake up with 20 pounds to lose.
Not to mention that my running has been woeful lately too. Sure I've been traveling 2 weeks out of every month for business and when I'm not traveling I'm juggling work and family but deep down I know I can be better. I feel like the crappiest weight loss/running blogger in the world… (or at least on Blogger.)
Why can't I get this together?
Well. I can get it together. I know I can. Years of counting calories/points and worrying about portion sizes made me weary of it all so I've been lax about it. Which I got away with when I was running 20- 30+ miles a week but now that my schedule has me running maybe 10 -15 miles a week (and lately, that would be a good week) I have to cut the crap.
I know where I can improve. I just have to do it.
In my fraudulent state I got word yesterday that I made the 100 most influential weight loss bloggers of 2013. I'm number 64. At first I felt a little uncomfortable. Like, "I don't deserve this. I'm struggling right now."
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But after thinking about it - I guess it's a nice thing. Some of the things in my blog (I think) has at least entertained people. And it's a personal challenge to live up to my 64th spot on the list!
I guess it's never going to be easy. Some races are a struggle and some are smooth sailing. This is part of life. I have to just get back up and keeping moving forward.
And my 4 point bowl of oatmeal was tasty.
How do you get back on track?
XO
Jen
5 comments:
I'm right there with you. I got too comfortable with things, lost some mojo, and was eating way too much. I have to reinstate the "no eating after 7 pm rule," again, because I can snack, fall asleep, wake up and grab something else on the way to bed. And reading and re-reading success stories helps!
Congratulations on makeing the list! I saw Lori (Finding Radiance), Mary and Katie on there as well.
Wow how awesome Jen. I do get inspired by you all the time.
I hoping that mayeb you would plzzz write a guest blog for me...it will be apprecaited.♥
I am convinced that it's more difficult to maintain weight than it was to lose it.
I gained 20-some lbs while I was in college the last 2 years. I graduated in December and then went back to Weight Watchers. (I'm a lifetime member since 1985) The points plus system was new to me. I did well and lost the weight in about 2 months. I'm wearing my old jeans again! I am also having days where I don't want to think about points and measuring portions and write down everything. After this holiday weekend, I was up 2.5 lbs. I constantly remind myself that I like being this size and that I don't want to go back. I like how my running is back to how it used to be. I really like the new jeans I recently splurged on! I ran a 5K in the cute running skirt that I couldn't wear last summer. This week it's that next week I have to weigh in at Weight Watchers.
I think the most important thing is to get right back on track when you have a bad eating day.
The fact that you are monitoring your weight and that you announced your gain to all of your readers is going to help you to get back on track.
Just keep at it; you will overcome this!!
You are not alone. Over 20 plus years I have lost up to 60 lbs, but continue to gain about 20 lbs back. Once I gain the 20 lbs, I start all over again by tracking my food. It is very frustrating to realize that this appears to be the only way to maintain my weight. It is exhausting keeping up with it. Right when you feel like you have it under control, it happens again. I feel your pain! Please know you are an inspiration. Even if you have put things on hold for a little while you realize it is time to get back on track. Together we will take control!
I think the secret is not to linger on punishing yourself but to get right back on track. And the sooner you do it the less weight you have to loose. This is not a perfect world. you should know you are doing a wonderful job and this is NOT a diet but a lifestyle. Every now and then go out and splurge have what you want but get right back to reality. Its all about the choices we make. I'm in Vegas capital of the Buffets I think I'm gonna splurge but find myself making the right decisions on what to eat. Eat what I want in small portions, use salad plates portion control YOU can do it girl loose that last 10-20lbs you are a true champion!!! I started WW at 239lbs now at 209lbs hit a few bumps in the road,but when people say hey have you lost weight great satisfaction now that's like a drug also, I Like it. For me 10-12lbs more, they will be the hardest but I'm down for the challenge. Besides I like the
Man in the mirror :) !!!!!
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