On the road again…

New sneakers!

This morning I decided would be the day that I laced up and got to running. I even had a brand new pair of sneakers for the occasion, my old ones were really beyond the miles and I ordered these Saucony ones that got the "Best Runners" award.  I love them.

Anyway, so off to the treadmill I went. I've never been so excited to step on a treadmill in my life. The last day or two the ankle hardly even felt any different than it did pre-injury so I felt like it was the right time.

I walked briskly for the first 5 minutes and then jogged at a 4.7 for a a few minutes to just test. I went up to 5.0 and topped out at around 5.5.  It felt a little tight here and there but not bad. Ironically my calf, the other ankle and the opposite side hip were all feeling a little off but I'm assuming that's from all the compensation limping/walking for the last 2 weeks.

After every mile I walked for a minute (which I never do) just to make sure I was doing OK. I was. I was dying to run faster and go further. I refrained. Though the wannabe athlete was screaming to go-go-go! The mommy in me scolded, there's no hurry -better steady and ready than pushing too hard too fast and setting yourself back. So that's what I did.

And right now it feels great. If I wake up feeling this good I might do another 4 or 5 tomorrow.

Ah.

It was only 2 weeks but it felt like forever. How do people handle longer injuries?

It wasn't a fast run but it was a successful one and I'm feeling pretty optimistic.

XO
Jen

PS:  LOVE the Runner's Warehouse got those sneaks on sale from an original $115 to $52!  If you overpronate and need a stability sneak, I'm loving this one… here's the link.

PSS: The other nice thing about RW is they have a super easy return policy, I had to return a pair of sneaks earlier that didn't work out and it was free and simple.

The agony of defeat... (and da-ankle)

Still not running, and the ankle is still bothering me a bit.  I'm planning on giving it a 3 mile run this Friday and see how I feel after. I honestly don't care about the pain so much as long as it's not getting furthered injured - but I don't know, does pain automatically mean something is wrong?

I've done the stationary bike a few times but I find that to be the most boring thing on the planet - it makes the treadmill look like a roller coaster ride of thrills in comparison. Holy boring. If my weight loss depended on an exercise bike, I'd be in trouble, but, I'm hanging in there.

I feel how this lady looks.

On a side note about the marathon training. I'm freaking out. I really am. I am SUPER confused with what I should effing be doing to catch up. I was behind in miles because of the winter from hell prior to injury - Now, I feel like I'm no where near where I should be at this point. My plan was to follow the NIKE+ training program to a perfect T and then go to the marathon comfortably knowing that the work was done, the miles run, and have nothing to worry about. I thrive off following "the plan" and knowing that I'm prepared. I feel like I'm heading into a final exam without having read the book.

I have no idea how to approach the next few months - do I just pick up where I left off and come in short or do I try to jump in 3 weeks later and suck up the leap in miles?  I've missed, a few 16 mile long runs at this point and this weeks long run is supposed to be 18 miles!  So what do I do? My longest "long run" has been 14 miles and that HURT…  Do I jump right back in (as if with still nursing a sprained ankle and running18 miles or 8 miles, for that matter, is even possible)  - I think going for 18 miles anytime soon might not happen.  I feel so behind. I really need guidance about if it's even possible to get back on track here. I'm very confused.  Help?

The back up solution is dropping to run the half. I'm not all jazzed about that option but I might have to go that way if I can't figure this out.

XO

Jen

Not running really sucks

UGH. 

It's been less than a week since my last run but it feels like forever.

I am grateful that it's a minor sprain (I can get around) but this not running thing is driving me crazy.

The bitchy voices in my head won't let up: "you did this to yourself," "you're going to slip backwards," "you messed up your training and will never run a marathon," and my favorite - "you are already getting fat again."

Seriously.  And I weighed myself today fully expecting to have gained 10 pounds - braced for it, in fact. I was hoping that the damage might be a little less… like only a five pound gain. Started the pep talk of what I'll have to do to shed the new weight.  Then I got on the scale, I'm the same exact weight as I was prior to the accident. But that's how crazy I  make myself.

I'm dealing though. What can you do? Even though I injured myself in an annoyingly stupid way,  injuries happen to the best of them. Would I be beating myself up any less if I tripped over a rock while running? Slipped on an ice patch from daring myself to run in crappy weather or something? Probably not - though I would feel slightly less embarrassed I guess. 

New BFF

I plan on making friends with an exercise bike tomorrow. Wish I had access to a pool.

I couldn't get to the gym today. I did do a million arm exercises with some weights and ten minutes of abs to feel like I was doing something - but I couldn't break a sweat and barely got my heart rate up, but trying to keep my head in some kind of place of fitness.

What have you done to cope during an injury?

XO

Jen

On the bench - injuries suck but GRAMMY's rocked

So yeah, it's been a tough few days.

I am really missing my run. I'm starting to feel a little panicked between not getting to train for the marathon and slipping back with my weight.

Especially the weight.

The first thought that came to my mind as I was resting was, "well, skinny jeans were nice for the ten minutes I could fit into them." I've never been able to maintain a weight loss before so my injury brings up a million and one fears of waking up 90 pounds heavier over night. Add to it, being away from my family and feeling out of my food routines, well… "panic" is an understatement.

I am hanging in there though.

The good news is, I'm able to calm myself down better this time around. I know that my weight loss was slow, smart and steady - I also know that I have the tools needed to get through this and persevere. This is just a test, a two week bump in the road on the journey. It is no time to panic but a time to grow. Maybe look at it as a great time to take a mental break as well.  I'll be back in no time.

And the better news - it's feeling much better. Still a little sore but the swelling is down and the color isn't too bad. I didn't even need advil today, so it's a good sign.

I was disappointed that I missed the Firecracker 10K - here's my unused bib and tee shirt.

My sad unused bib… but how cute is the tee?

And last night was my trip to the GRAMMY's. So. Much. Fun. I think my favorite performance was Cee-Lo but so much was so good that it's hard to say.  It was great, I even figured out a way to save my outfit (no heels) but wore some cute boots that looked kind of rock n' roll with my outfit. 

Here's a picture of my friend & biz partner Dan and I posing with some fun props at the after party… I friggen love that disco ball and almost stole it! Dan's old school boom box is pretty fab too.  ;)

Sigh - hope to be up and running soon. When I am ready to run, what should I do? Ease back into the routine? Anyone ever go down the sprained ankle road? Advice?  

XO

Jen

Sprained ankle - Way to go

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!  I am so f'in upset with myself. I ridiculously sprained my ankle last night.

It was a very un-athletic/non-stotan night of vodka tonics, skinny-jeans and high heels... and I missed a step (where'd that come from?) and fell on my ass - my overpriced cocktail soaking said skinny jeans in the process…

Idiot.

No Firecracker 10K tomorrow.

No nice shoes for the GRAMMYs.

No idea when I'll be able to run again.

I could cry I'm so mad/sad.

I'm RICE'ing today but it's swollen and purple and it hurts. A lot.

Way to go.

idiot

I'm swearing off drinking a lot and hope to be recovered now soon.

XO

Jen

3 hours later….

OK, so now that I'm done berating myself - I am moving on - please leave advice on what I should do to heal faster - also any one have any idea how long I should not run for?

I also will say that post pity party, I'm thankful that I didn't hurt it worse, break it, or break anything else.

It's my running birthday! Gonna run like it's my running birthday!

Well, actually - I suck. My "running birthday" was Feb. 8th and with how busy I have been - it came and went and I forgot to celebrate!  You can read my very first post here.

BUT-

I'm not one to skip a celebration, so though I write this on Feb. 10th - I'm partying today like it's my running birthday!

I am in LA again this week. Lucky me has been invited to attend the GRAMMY awards for the second year in a row.  The company that I cofounded with my biz partner and running buddy, Angela - produced this really (if I do say so myself) awesome documentary called: Happy On The Ground: 8 Days at GRAMMY Camp. We worked closely with the GRAMMY peeps so we get to go.

Anyhoo, in honor of my one year running birthday, I ran around Angela's lovely LA neighborhood - and got treated to this:

Actual street I ran this morning

Instead of this:

my usual tread at gym

I am also running the 10K Firecracker run through Downtown LA on Sunday and can't wait - looks like a great race.

And in honor of my birthday… take it away 50…

XO

Jen

Five unexpected things that I'm enjoying now that I'm thinner

I lost 2.5 more pounds at WW this week - so I'm down a total of 91.5 pounds! In honor of that, I'm going to celebrate being thinner today. 

OK - so it might be a little obnoxious, but I worked hard to get here. I've been overweight for so long and for so much of my life that I had no idea how nice it would be in a "normal" sized body. 

I am here to say, so far it rocks. 

People would say, "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels" and I would chuckle to myself and think - you just haven't found the right food. (And I would still argue that there are some foods like creme brulee that comes pretty damn close to tasting that good.)

In any case, I'm writing this list out for those future moments where I'll want to blow off working out or binge eat, pig out or just plain over do-it. I want to keep the weight off forever and I'll be printing this list out and stapling it to my forehead (or the fridge) for constant reminder. 

The unexpected (or not so unexpected) good side effects of being 90 pounds thinner:

1.  Chairs have become so much bigger. It sounds silly but I am not kidding, certain chairs would be super uncomfortable because my ample hips, thighs and a$$ would require so much room. Flying was a nightmare, not only would I cozily and embarrassingly spill into my neighbors seat but the arm rests would dig into my flub uncomfortably. UGH. It just sucked. But now, those same seats are downright roomy and I'm so appreciative of that.

2.  Proud to go to the doctor. OK, this might sound crazy but I've always been an "A" student. I like gold stars and being patted on the head for good behavior. I am finally not only not embarrassed to record my weight on a doc's chart but downright proud of the number. And pleassse lets do my blood pressure because I'm sure that's pretty good now too. 

3.  It's easier to get dressed. When I was heavy, just going to meet a friend for coffee was a nightmare. I never liked how anything look and was always paranoid of fat sticking out. Is my a$$ covered? Do I have "muffin top?" Is this shirt "too clingy?" Now, I just get dressed minus the self loathing drama.

4.  Movement is easier. At 236, my knees hurt, my back ached, my feet would get sore. None of those symptoms affect me anymore and those pains could spring up from just a stroll around the mall. Plus, if I have to get through a crowd, shimmy past people in a crowded restaurant, walk extra far - it's all way, way easier.

5.  I run faster. Sure, this is a combination of training, hard work and practice but lets face it - running with all those extra pounds strapped to your body would slow anyone down. 

What have you found along the way of your weight loss or health journey that you didn't expect?

XO

Jen

More on training and relationship straining

The laundry clearly suffers

This has been my "running" theme lately - the need to find balance for work, family and running.

When I signed up for a full marathon, I wasn't prepared at how much the training meant rocking the boat in other areas of my life. I knew I would be running more, but I forgot to factor where that time was going to come from. I figured, I'd get up early and put in the miles. No sweat… (well lots of sweat but you know what I mean.)

Up to this point in my life it's always been a war against myself. Finding the motivation, the desire to leave a warm bed, turn off the TV or drop whatever else. Exercise was something I should be doing and at the time, didn't want to and that's why the marathon train/strain was such a shocker to me. I mean, I'm not going out to party with friends, shop 'til I drop or spend a day at the beach… I'm running on a crummy treadmill at the gym. I would've never figured that this activity could change my day so much.

Let's face it, training for these endurance events takes time and inevitably, someone or something suffers. It might be your work or home life. It could be your homework if you are in school, your sleep time, seeing friends or your other hobbies - but inevitably, something gets affected for better or worse. 

When one decides to do this kind of "life changing" bucket list type thing - no one ever really talks about the other part of it, the sacrifice that others will need to make for you, whether they are ready or not. And others do make sacrifices, whether we want to admit it or not. Well, at least in my case.

I spoke about my hubby last week grumbling about my running and when I did, I'm sorry it seemed harsh. I really don't blame him for being less than thrilled with all this running. All things considered, he's actually pretty supportive.  I can't say I wouldn't be the one grumbling if the running shoe was on the other foot. I'm working through it, still looking for as much "fair" and balanced time as possible. As the weather warms and the sun comes up earlier, I believe it'll get a bit easier.

It's not to say that I regret signing up for the marathon or that I'll quit. I'm glad that I've got running and without it - nothing else would be right. I suffer with depression and anxiety, running helps keep both at bay. I come up with some of my best ideas while running. I know that I wouldn't be persevering to get any miles in if I didn't have a big finish line dangling. 

I ran across this Wall Street journal article this morning, A Workout Ate My Marriage - it was an article about "exercise widows" and really spoke to what happens when one person in the relationship is an endurance racer. I appreciated this article because it really spoke to me.  

Can you relate to this?

So far this week, I ran 10 miles on Monday morning (instead of 14 - TOO BUSY!) and last night 3 miles instead of 7 (FAMILY TIME!) I hate missing the miles but I'm trying to ebb and flow, here. I read another article last week - I think it was from active.com (wish I bookmarked it) but it said that rarely a marathoner feels fully trained - we all hit bumps in the roads or miss a few miles along the way. That gave me comfort to keep going forward despite not always being perfectly on course. 

I am still trying to figure it all out - all we can do is our best - "shoot for the moon… land amongst the stars…" and all that jazz. 

XO

Jen