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At the expo |
I am excited and joyous.
Earlier this week I was nervous, freaking out and scared to death. I was seriously second guessing myself and doubt in my ability was everywhere. Every negative thing that ever happened to me during a race including this incident at the Hollywood Half and this not-so-fun time during my first marathon at the San Diego Rock N Roll flooded my brain. I was becoming a complete wreck.
This week almost was one filled with dread and fear but I got my mind on right.
With a little help.
A friend Noah sent me well wishes for the race. I expressed my panic and he simply said "don't ruin this week with worry or you're gonna miss this great moment in your life." He was 100% right. All these years of dreaming. How could I let fear steal this joy from me?
So I did something a little unconventional. I decided to see a hypnotherapist. The idea kind of came to me because I knew I needed a mental adjustment and it was an emergency, I'm not sure why I never thought of it before! I know the power of thoughts and my thoughts were threatening to make my dream race a nightmare. I've tried to get into this race for FOUR YEARS. It's my bucket list race and now I was dreading it.
This is just too big of a deal for me to let that happen.
Years ago, hypnotherapy helped me with quitting smoking - and somehow it popped into my head, "I wonder if it could help me with my running?"
So I did a google search and I found a certified Hypnosis Practitioner, Mary Battaglia. I read how she had helped a woman conquer her fears on a mountain bike. It rang very relevant to me. Maybe Mary could help me!
So I contacted her on Monday and by Tuesday morning I was in her office.
She helped me undo some of the mental trauma I kept playing out from the other two races and then we created a mental script for me to listen to all week. We also created affirmations for me to say several times a day. She hypnotized me and she helped to plant all these positive thoughts and feelings about the race in my head.
It worked! It's like a miracle!! What a gift this woman gave me. I have not felt a moment of worry, fear or dread since. I've been nothing but excited, embracing and ready. And you have no idea how huge that is for me. HUGE.
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Joyfully holding my bib! See you at the finish line! :) |
If you're the type of person who worries, doubts yourself or has debilitating race day anxiety and fear - this might be something for you to consider.
I don't know what is going to happen on Marathon Sunday but I'm ready for it. I'm excited, joyous, and ready for whatever comes my way.
I'm no more trained than I was a week ago but my mental outlook has done a complete 180. Worrying, self-doubt, beating yourself up and playing the "what if a bad thing happens" mind game has never helped anyone. Hypnosis or not, fear and dread is nothing but a thief to your happiness. Trust me.
I can't control what happens at this point just my reactions and attitude.
Bring on NYC. I love you New York Marathon, I love that I get to be a part of it. Dreams do come true.
The next post I make will be one as a marathoner.
XO
Jen