Ups and downs

It's been a long week.

I did my Cupcake marathon last weekend and completed my 13.1 in 2:36.   I'm very happy to add this to my half marathon accomplishments. While it was more "long run" training than racing, it is still a better time than my last half which took me 3hours. In that regard, I PR'ed! :)

That's great but I have to admit that long run was tough on me. I was thrilled that the weather was nice enough to run outside but by mile ten I was hitting the wall.  I was sore, achey and the long run just felt like the longest run ever.

It wasn't that "gee I love to run" long run thing that I usually can muster. It was more like, "What the hell am I doing?" "How am I ever gonna run 26?"  UGH.

Even my six mile run on Monday was pretty blah… So blah that this was an actual Daily Mile comment:

I'm not even sure who Griffin is but he was right!

By the way, I was proud of myself for trying to make it a happier post by not adding the "blah face" smiley and by selecting the happy face icon. Guess that didn't help much! LOL (Oh and thanks Sara for the vote of confidence!)

Today I'm getting ready to run 14 and I feel dread. Why!? I don't want to feel dread. I want to feel challenged and excited to take them on… I'm hoping I find something during that 14 today - just not sure what.

I am in a fight with this negativity. I really am. I want to be Polly positive all the time. I have others that look to me for inspiration. I dig deep, I read inspiring quotes, I talk to like-minded folks. But like anything worth having, I guess it takes work sometimes. My old habits and thoughts die hard.

I'm also experiencing great anxiety about being properly trained in time - I'm not feeling confident about that. I have a lot coming up that is going to make getting all those miles in challenging.

All of it is overwhelming.

But. All I can do is take it a day at a time. Do what I can do today and let the rest fall where it may. Maybe I won't be "trained enough" but if I'm trained enough where I can jog, walk or crawl over the finish line without dying… well, I will still consider that a victory.

I realize that we all hit this wall from time-to-time and that a crappy run every once in a while happens. I guess it's what you do after them that matters.

The upside and the positive in all this negative is - I haven't given up. I am tempted to go shopping, watch TV, (uh, write this blog post) or do anything else but run 14 miles today. The old me would've said forget it. I'm done. This isn't fun anymore so I'm taking my iPod and going home. I'm not doing that. I'm still forging forward and giving it my best shot. And just savoring that push forward mentality for a moment is making me feel a wee bit better.

I've gotta go. I've got a few miles to run.

How do you bounce back from a few not so fun runs?

XO
Jen

Film Festivals, Cupcakes and Determination

Hello,

Yay! 

I am sorry, I know I have been the crappiest blogger ever lately. I just have been super busy with stuff. First of all the documentary film that I co-produced Happy on the Ground: 8 Days at GRAMMY Camp, has been accepted into the Nashville Film Festival! Yippee!! So we've been up to our eyeballs prepping for that. Here's the movie poster. If you're in Nashville, swing by a screening and say hi! (Plus, the film is really great - if I do say so myself.) =)

You can view the trailer here.

I've also been working hard on multiple other projects, being a mom, etc, etc… I know. Cry ya a river. We're all friggen busy.

In any case, I've been getting back up to speed (once again - thanks Lesley!) with the running. I've been quietly getting up extra early, putting in my miles and just doing it. Today I only did 4 out of 6 because I didn't get up early enough so I'll make those up.

I am very excited about Jason's Cupcake Marathon this weekend - I am sending the positive vibes into the universe that I win the spibelt - I need one, money is tight and the leather fanny pack I've been using just isn't cutting it- LOL.  Coach Lesley has me down to run a 12 miler on Saturday but I'm going to go for 13 so I get my virtual 1/2 marathon in!  Jason's rules allows us to break up the run but I figure, "eh, why do that?" I'm arunnin' it straight.

And speaking of coach Lesley - I've got a new roomie for San Diego! Lesley from Racing It Off and Sherry (my newest blog follower - hi Sherry!) Have extended an invite for me to shack up with them for the SD RNR marathon in June. I'm excited and think it's going to be a great weekend. (Although I'm in a panic about being properly prepared… I'm just doing my best, doing my best…)

And (thanks Nik) today's RunnersWorld quote from Jeff Galloway says:

"The more you frame the marathon as a stressful experience, the more negative messages you'll receive. But it's just as easy to frame it as a positively challenging journey."

And more inspiration comes from this Jack Canfield blog post I read today, entitled, "The Power of Determination." Feeling a little uncertain and very "off" lately and this read really struck home.

I would encourage you to read the post, it's a quick read but I especially loved what he had to say about adversity:

Adversity and Discouragement Is Inevitable

No matter how well you plan and how well you execute your plan, you are bound to meet with disappointments, setbacks and failure along the way to your ultimate triumph...  

...The longer you hang in there, the greater the chance that something will happen in your favor. No matter how hard it seems, the longer you persist, the more likely your success will be. 

As Confucius wrote more than 4000 years ago in China, “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” 

Hope you all are doing great - what's going on with you?


XO
Jen

I've been running and busy - two quick shout outs...

always some kind of foot pain. yee ha

I have had a few successful runs and one HUGE long run fail.

UGH - Saturday my 10 miler got cut to 5 miles because of throbbing blisters on my pinky toes. - at 2 miles they hurt at 3 miles I knew I was in trouble at 4 miles I sucked up the pain enough to at least get to 5. I never had blisters like that - even walking around without shoes on hurt for two days! Apparently, those great sneakers I just bought were just a little too narrow in the toe box :(  I suspected that after the first 2 runs in them but was hoping they just needed to break in. They felt so good just walking around in them and they felt fine for the smaller 3 mile run but not until you really run some miles do you always know how sneaks are gonna work out, I guess.

Luckily, shout out number one: RUNNING WAREHOUSE ROCKS! I called them, apologized that I had run 3 times in them, explained the situation and the friendly customer service agent, Kate, said that while it's not their policy to let you return already worn shoes, she would let me do it and agreed to allow me to get a different pair. No drama, just very pleasant customer service. I was impressed. I was fully ready to accept that I was going to be stuck with a pair of sneakers I'd never wear again.  I will be a customer for life. 

I'm going back to the basic pair that I started running in a year ago. I really liked those the best so I'm sticking with them. 

And shout out number 2: big thank you, thank you to LESLEY at  RACING IT OFF! She's been a great bloggy friend to me for many months now. She even has made plans to run the San Diego RNR marathon so we'll be meeting for my first big run. Fretting over my lost weeks and missed runs, she took my running plan and went week by week, day-by-day for the rest of my training program to custom tailor it for me! =)  How nice is that? And her program looks so much doable for me while still building the miles.  I feel so much mentally "back on track". 

Lesley, you're awesome. Thank you! 

All in all my ankle is doing fine. Strangely, my left hip has been achey after runs (like it used to be when I first started running) but I suspect that it's "growing pains" from hobbling strangely for a few weeks with the injury. It's annoying but I'll live.

How are you all doing?

XO

Jen

I feel like a freakin rock star from Mars: who just ran 4 miles!

Yippee!

I'm as happy as Charlie Sheen at a porn convention.

I ran today and ran well. No apprehension, no pain - just a new iPod playlist of music, four miles and a comfortable ankle.  I ran a decent pace - got off the tread and it still felt good. AH!!  I'm back.

Or as Charlie would say: Winning.

(Sorry for the Charlie references, I'm a little obsessed… moving on…)

Despite the awesome run, I'm still holding a little back. Tempted as I am to run again tomorrow, I'm going to finish this week on an every other day schedule and then see where I am at.  I don't want to get lulled into doing too much and re-injuring and I've been reading quite a bit about that.  So, my plan is:

2 miles on Sunday - done

mon- rest

4 miles today - done

Wed. - rest

6 miles on Thursday

Fri - rest

10 miles on Saturday.

Sunday rest.

I think a 22 mile week should be adequate to show me where I am at. Not too much, not too little.

Then, I will consider how I feel on Sunday. If all is good then next week it's on like "Donkey Kong," as the kids say. And I'll figure out a plan to start getting my miles back up to where they should be. (I think my long run is supposed to be something nuts like 18 miles this week…)

And Lesley at Racing It Off has offered to help come up with a plan - Thanks Lesley-- I will accept that AWESOME offer and will be eternally grateful. xo

How are you guys doing?

XO
Jen