Friday, July 22, 2011

Turning up the heat

Sorry for the lack of posts, it's been a strange few weeks with not much to report.

I've been a little bummed- my Weight Watcher meeting has fallen apart. For whatever reasons, WW took away my leader's Sat. morning meeting. I've lost all of my weight with this leader and we were a tight group. I am "making it work" but it's been a tough adjustment. It may sound dramatic and I know that the weight loss and exercise is my journey but that meeting has been a tremendous support to me. If you know anything about food addicts and emotional eaters (which I consider myself somewhere between the two) we need very little excuse to justify falling backwards. My first reaction to this news was well "f'in WW is screwing me over. Great. Now I'm going to gain my weight back because I'm never going to a meeting again." By the way, this was the reaction of quite a few other members.

I know, I know. That's a childish and ridiculous reaction. Dropping out and eating doesn't hurt WW it hurts me. I've become rational enough to recognize that but this childish, gut reaction is what happens to many of us in these situations.

Ultimately, it's my journey. I will not sabotage my efforts anymore because of issues. I will deal. I will put on my big girl pants and accept that sh*t happens and work it out. While it sucks, it's an opportunity to grow, evolve and take something away from it.

So with that, I've been bouncing around with my weight but keeping it contained. I am tracking and keeping a stricter eye on stuff.

Heat has been ON! Today is another 100+ day with high humidity.

Thankfully, I've been getting some miles in at the gym - but I've been having a real tough time turning the corner in running longer. (Though I'm happy to say that I've been running faster!)

It's so easy to go for 2 - 4 miles but there's something about venturing beyond lately. Partly because I hate running in heat and I hate running more than 4mi. on a treadmill… sigh.

I think having a lack of a real event on the calendar is causing a lack of direction. I am "pretty sure" that I'm running something in Atlantic City on October 16th - haven't committed to the half or full but probably leaning towards the half. It's tough having fuzzy goals and vague idea of what I'm doing - so that's not motivating me to do long runs either.  Hmmm. I can't seem to pull the trigger on either because if I pay for the half, I know that I'm going to feel like I'm wimping out but won't push myself to train up to the full and if I pay for the full, I'm going to kick myself when I see that I have to get an 18 mile run in  during the busy and hot weeks ahead.


Jeeze. This posts sounds way more whiney than I meant it to sound!

In spite of all this whining - summer has been going along and I'm enjoying it.

How are you dealing with the heat? What races are you training for? How do you get motivated to do longer runs if you don't have a race on the calendar?

Hope summer is treating you well :)


Wednesday, July 6, 2011

From Finish Line to Fat?

Proud of this girl for having the courage to start but never going back
I'm never going back to fat, let's just get that straight right here and now.

I've learned too much, come too far and have the tools to battle forward.

I've maintained a 90+ weight loss (that took me over 3 years to attain) for 7 months now.

However -

I know that it'll always be something I need to work on.  I had a weekend of food festivities that was downright ridiculous - I've been slipping into old sloppy eating habits over the last few weeks and while I still look the same to my friends I will say I'm up a couple of pounds and that combined with not training for a full marathon and the sloppy eating, I'm flirting with a slippery slope.

I can blame a ton of things - summer, 4th of July, stress, blah, blah, blah… But the "whys" aren't all that important.

The bad news is I'm up a few pounds.

The good news is that I'm OK with it - I'm even OK with the crappy behaviors and choices of late.


Because I think I've finally figured out that the good, the bad, the ugly is all a part of the journey. I've finally figured out that whether (for me) I'm striving to train for a marathon or make good food choices that sometimes I'm gonna hit bumps, make a wrong turn or fall down.

I think it's important to know that it's OK to fall down as long as you get back up again. Falling is not failing. Giving up is failing.

Running has taught me this.

You might have a bad run but it doesn't mean you never run again. No, you go home, reassess and get back out on the road.

Sometimes you're running in rain, uphill, slightly injured, sick, or with a serious case of the blahs.  

Sometimes our training gets foiled, your run cut short instead of 6 miles it's four or two. But you keep plugging.

For me, I'm going to have times where I eat too much and maybe make choices I regret in the morning - it doesn't mean I give up though. No, I lace up my sneakers and get back on track. 

I mean if you find yourself having run a half mile in the wrong direction what do you do? Lay down and die? Run even further in the wrong direction? Hell no, you U-Turn it curse a bit over the "annoying" blip and move on… soon you're so back on track that you even forgot the slight hiccup to begin with.

So I'm making a U-turn before the half mile becomes more - I know I just have to keep running and eventually I'll get to the finish line.